Friend wanted an intervention

[Newlywedgal]

I found out about a month or so before I got married a friend wanted to sit me down and explain to me an ex boyfriend (abusive) from 2017 had just got married.

she wanted to let me know - ‘to break it to me gently’.

i do not follow this creep on social media (she obviously does), and I have not mentioned / had him in my head space for years. Do not care.

Luckily the other friend talked her out of it.

more I think about it the more weird I think it is?

aibu - its perfectly normal
yanbu - its weird

Your friend is obviously making assumptions (projecting?? maybe), that doesn't not fit with real life.

Maybe the friend is the one who needs an intervention, to stop making assumptions , stop projecting, and to open their eyes to real life. Maybe had the best intentions? maybe not.

I think it’s weird tbh. Perhaps it was coming from a good place and she thought he was still living rent free in your head. Alternatively some people love the drama and like to impart gossip in a slightly breathy, head tilted in sympathy sort of way hoping for a reaction so she can eke it out some more by telling other friends about your reaction.

Liberate yourself from this weird friend. Regardless of motivations, her judgment is off, she is not healthy for you.

She's not a friend, she wants to stir up the drama. Sack this one off I think

Yes, it’s weird. Is your friend single and wishing she wasn’t? Or in a relationship and unhappy or jealous of what others have? It sounds like exactly the sort of thing someone who is jealous and insecure would do with a friend who has what they want. For example, you were getting married and happy and she wanted to make you feel a bit wobbly.

She is married with two little ones
my instinct was jealousy too - head tilt
i just laughed when I was told and minimised it as much as possible

I don't get how this is an intervention?

I think i used the wrong term 😂

I had something similar when an ex got married. I really wasn't fussed but our mutual friends were really quite agitated and tried to keep it secret. Luckily he thought it was as ridiculous as I did!

She probably just thought you might be upset by the news. You're not so no biggie IMO.

This happened to my friend a few years ago and she was very much confused by it. Her friend approached talking about sorry I have to break this to you. She was either being messy or projecting. Not sure which though.

The strange thing is he lives in another country - he is not in our lives and hasnt been for 7-8 years