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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Over £40k credit card debt

100 replies

Debtfree212 · 12/03/2025 22:09

Name changed.

Struggling to get my head around this and need some responses. My best friend has disclosed that she and her husband have £40k of credit card debt. This is on top of a mortgage, their student loans, each has an over drafts and they have monthly car finance. Speaking to her in detail (as we went through it together, more because I was in disbelief at the numbers) and it’s roughly:

lloyds card 1 - £5.5k
barclays card - £8.5k
amex - £18k
Lloyds card 2 - £4k
Mastercard - £2k

They are both high earners (I don’t know what that means in terms of exact salary) so they have at the start of this year decided they need to sort it and are putting down more than £1.5k a month onto these cards, they’ve been doing this since January.

I have no awareness of credit card debt as I have not had one (never liked the feeling of it) but is this level of credit card debt normal? It feels massive to me. How on earth have they been able to get 5 credit cards between them? Honestly shocked they are not stupid people / not extravagant I just couldn’t believe the figures - need to know if this feels excessive to other people?

she seemed very blasé about it but said they had quite a serious moment January where they knew they needed to knuckle down and sort it out, so they have blocked the cards / aren’t spending on them.

do I need to check in to see / suggest she get some extra help? So surprised I would never have thought they had this hanging over them to know them, but maybe other people have multiple credit cards and pay them off monthly?

she said it’s been about 5 years of holidays / Mat leave spending / furnishing house

OP posts:
TooManyRabbitsAndNotEnoughChickens · 12/03/2025 22:13

It's a lot, but it sounds like they can afford the payments and have a plan to pay the debt down. I'd leave them to it, unless she is actually asking for advice?

InvisibilityCloakActivated · 12/03/2025 22:21

It is a lot and I don't think that that level of debt is "the norm", but I guess it depends on their income. For me, that is double my annual salary so I would not be able to envisage a time the debt would be cleared. If they are both high earners, perhaps £40k is an amount they can clear in a year by cutting back to one 3-star holiday a year instead of five 5-star holidays.

It might be worth them borrowing an amount against their house ratger than on credit cards so they are paying a lower interest rate, but if they are both bright, nd have decided to tackle it, I would probably not raise it again unless your friend wants to talk more about it.

Catza · 12/03/2025 22:23

It's not that difficult to get a credit card if your credit history is good. I got my first amex 10 years ago. I was earning under 25k at the time and my credit limit was initially around 3k. I maybe spend £200 on it every month and pay it off at the end of the month in full. Because of this, they increased my limit to over 10k without me ever asking them to. I also have another credit card which I opened when I needed to upgrade my laptop. I paid it off within 0% interest period. I then needed to get a car, so opened another credit card account with 0% interest. Rinse and repeat indefinitely. I only ever use my Amex. I have never touched other cards since I paid off my initial borrowing and since intro rates expired. But technically, I have 4 credit cards.

coralsky · 12/03/2025 22:24

It's on the high side yes - but they're both earning, have the means to pay it back and have started to do so. Assuming they've started living within their means I don't see what else you need to do?

Gundogday · 12/03/2025 22:24

That’s a lot of debt, and paying 1.5k per month will take a couple if years to pay it off. They would be wise to convert this to a loan with a lower interest rate than the credit cards else they’ll be accruing more debt along the way (and then cut up the credit cards).

They probably got the cards before the debts built up.

ChargeableHour · 12/03/2025 22:28

The amount of debt - and whether it is scary - is only really a consideration in the context of income.

So £1k debt will be too much for some of it eats into their standard of living, and they can’t repay it.

Personally I think £40k sounds quite high because even if they earn £400k it is 10% before tax. That metric would be too much for most.

ShanghaiDiva · 12/03/2025 22:29

Agree with pp it makes more sense to convert to a loan, assuming the cards are not on a 0% interest deal at the moment.
i think that level of unsecured debt is not the norm.

Comparethemarket · 12/03/2025 22:31

That is a lot, especially on top of mortgage, car finance etc.

Can they switch their cards to ones which allow 0% balance transfer so they are at least not paying on the interest?

Get rid of finances cars and buy cheaper cars outright.

I wouldn't worry about student loans, that's more like graduate tax than a real loan as such.

Do they have assets they could sell to cover some of the debt?

They could maybe benefit from consulting a financial advisor.

forgotactually · 12/03/2025 22:33

I’m just surprised you think this has anything to do with you, unless your friend has asked you to post about her private finances on a public forum.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 12/03/2025 22:35

Why do you need to know if this feels excessive to other people?

Your friend and her DH are completely aware of their situation and totally in control of what they need to do to sort this, and have already put steps in place since January to pay this off.

Why are you so invested in the finances of your friend?

Mydogmylife · 12/03/2025 22:37

forgotactually · 12/03/2025 22:33

I’m just surprised you think this has anything to do with you, unless your friend has asked you to post about her private finances on a public forum.

Absolutely this - mind your own

MinnieCoops · 12/03/2025 22:38

How strange that you want to discuss your friend’s credit card debt. I would mind your business if I were you.

newsateleven · 12/03/2025 22:41

why do you "need to know if it feels excessive to other people"? what a weird comment.

it's nothing to do with you and they're already paying it off so it's not like you're asking for help for them.

smacks of schadenfreude

Anotherparkingthread · 12/03/2025 22:44

forgotactually · 12/03/2025 22:33

I’m just surprised you think this has anything to do with you, unless your friend has asked you to post about her private finances on a public forum.

Don't be so daft. That would apply if op was talking about this friend behind their back to people who knew or might know who this couple is. For all we know it's a hypothetical. Op could be posting about herself under the guise of a 'friend'. She isn't taking somebodies "personal financial information" if nobody knows who the person is lol

Back to the point. Imo it's too much debt, you would have to be a chronic overspender with very very poor budgeting choices to get in this much of this type of debt, regardless of income. I suppose they have worked out a plan to pay it back, but even at the rate they are paying they will be paying it for years and years. Miserable, imagine having that much a month to spend on whatever you like instead, without having to get into debt to do it.

For me, debt ruins the enjoyment of a thing anyway. It also, in my experience encourages people make purchase choices that they wouldn't with money they had already earned and worked hard to put away.

Hopefully they can climb out if this hole.

KerryBlues · 12/03/2025 22:46

If they’ve managed to live forty grand above their means whilst not being “extravagant”, they’re either not high earners at all or there’s something else going on you’re not privy to.

DoYouReally · 12/03/2025 22:52

You say they are not stupid people...I beg to differ.

WavyRavey · 12/03/2025 22:58

Jesus, and I'm currently feeling sick about mine being 3K 😂

PyongyangKipperbang · 12/03/2025 23:01

£40k is what the house I am sitting in cost, which took me 23 years to pay off so it sounds like a massive amount to me!

But if they earn £400k between them then I guess it is the same as someone on £40k having £4k on a card which a lot of people wouldnt think is eye watering.

And if they can afford to drop £1.5k a month on it, then it doesnt sound like they are struggling, more that it got away from them. They are aware and are dealing with it which is a good thing.

Fargo79 · 12/03/2025 23:12

Totally depends on the rest of their financial landscape, and the details of the credit cards. E.g. if they are all 0% and the plan is to just keep moving them onto new 0% balance transfer cards until the debt is cleared, which sounds very manageable on their salaries, I don't think it's a biggie. We've done similar to part fund our house renovations and we'll probably pay the remaining balances off when we remortgage.

I definitely wouldn't do it to pay for holidays though and it would have to be a real emergency situation (i.e. unplanned pregnancy, redundancy etc) for me to use a credit card to pay for mat leave.

OneQuirkyPanda · 12/03/2025 23:12

I think what you should do is mind your own business, they aren’t asking for advice and have said they are high earners and have a plan to pay it off. I find the whole tone of your post very off.

myfavouritemutant · 12/03/2025 23:13

I’m not really sure why you felt we needed the breakdown of how much is on what card! That’s a lot of detail you’re sharing about someone else. Just saying ‘£40k of credit card debt’ paints the picture.

it sounds a lot to me but they’re tackling it. I don’t think there’s anything else for you to do or say, unless you’ve been specifically asked to?

Bunny44 · 12/03/2025 23:17

It sounds like a lot to me but I pay credit cards off every month so never have any debt apart from my mortgage. Never understand people who spend what they don't have especially on credit cards as it's such an expensive way to do so. It's unnecessary debt if you're a high earner too.

I'm usually a high earner but lost my job while pregnant and was unemployed for 14 months, also a single parent. I still didn't turn to credit cards. It's not necessary if you live within your means and save for a rainy day (of which I had many). People who do this have no financial sense.

Still this is your friends problem and not yours.

alcoholfreelife · 12/03/2025 23:21

My husband and I have around 40k of debt remaining due to me needing 2 life changing private surgeries that the NHS refused several times to fund,( 14k remaining on a CC and the remainder on a loan) I had suffered with my medical issue for over ten years and it finally reached a point where I had no choice to go private, we are paying it back and never normally have any debt so for us it’s not ideal but we are tackling it together and it wasn’t spent on cars and holidays!

These things happen and unless she’s told you what she’s spent it on it could have accrued due to a serious situation like mine that you may not be aware of, obviously if they blew it on holidays and cars then that’s their choice at the end of the day but it might not have been due to frivolous lifestyle.

Bey · 12/03/2025 23:25

InvisibilityCloakActivated · 12/03/2025 22:21

It is a lot and I don't think that that level of debt is "the norm", but I guess it depends on their income. For me, that is double my annual salary so I would not be able to envisage a time the debt would be cleared. If they are both high earners, perhaps £40k is an amount they can clear in a year by cutting back to one 3-star holiday a year instead of five 5-star holidays.

It might be worth them borrowing an amount against their house ratger than on credit cards so they are paying a lower interest rate, but if they are both bright, nd have decided to tackle it, I would probably not raise it again unless your friend wants to talk more about it.

Martin Lewis advises against this! Do not secure debt against your home if something happens and you can't make the payments of credit cards it damages your ability to get credit in the future but if you can't make payments on your mortgage you will lose your home!

BarracuddaYouda · 12/03/2025 23:26

I would highly recommend to her a debt consolidation loan to clear it all off and then pay one manageable monthly payments. The interest alone on credit card debt is astronomical.