To not want people holding my baby

[holdingmybaby]

I am really twitchy about anyone holding my baby, with the exception of my husband and mum. Weirdly I don’t mind passing her over to my mum friends with same age babies but any other relatives or visitors who come over and immediately want to hold her, I feel very on edge and can’t take my eyes off her. I don’t know why I am so twitchy over it. She’s 4 months now so I feel like I should be more relaxed but I’m just not. If it’s on my terms I usually feel fine but if the second someone walks through the door and they want to take her from me or pick her up from where she is playing, I really don’t feel comfortable. How can I get over this?

It's not unusual and it will generally pass with time.

How do you feel about your in-laws holding her?

Uncomfortable but they don’t see us regularly so this could be why.

(They live far away) I’m also a bit twitchy if she’s with my cousin or auntie or anyone like that

Oh really? Thank you, this is reassuring

Are people just walking in and taking the baby straight away? Because that’s not something you need to “get over”. Firmly tell them “you can hold her later, she wants mummy right now”. She’s only 4 months old and she’s not a toy. Firmly tell them “she’s happy playing” suggest they play with her instead of cuddle her?

In general it does get easier with age. Do you have health anxiety or trust issues?

No but one relative stands about expecting it and always wants her to be awake when they visit. Health anxiety on and off yes, no trust issues

I felt this way. I would put my baby in the sling wrap to sleep on my chest when people visited. No one wanted to disturb a sleeping baby and I felt much more at ease. I did start to feel much more comfortable over time with people holding her.

That’s a good idea.i don’t want to push anyone away but can’t help how I feel

How do they react when they hold your baby and you’re sort of intensely staring at the baby? That would make me so uncomfortable I’d probably give the baby back and back away slowly.

It’s not unusual at all. Wear her in a sling or confidently ask them to leave her be for now as she’s happy.

The way you feel is just protective motherly stuff and there's nothing you can do to change it. It will wear off as she gets older.

She could be walking in 6/7 months time, imagine that! You know how quick a few months go. Enjoy her while she's tiny but know that none of the stages last long with having kids 😊You get used to it and it all changes again!

I think the sling is a great idea!

Thank you

I think it's natural. People should be respectful and ask and understand if they can't without any form of judgement. I think it's OK for you to say , not right now thank you , maybe a little later. You don't need to explain anything. I would never just go all in and expect to hold someone's baby whenever I wanted.
In nature , if anyone went up and just tried to pick up baby , the mother would attack, I think it's kind of similar instinct

Have another op....then you'll be handing them straight to anyone who walks through the door😂

Never thought of it like that but that’s so true

Hahaha I bet I’m very different if I have another