AIBU to want to know what a 'normal' response to dog's mess is?

[Cara707]

I have severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, with a contamination obsession as part of my condition so these kind of things are a problem to me. I am just wondering what a normal reaction to seeing dog's mess on other family members/household member's shoes is? It seems like every day there is a small quantity of dog's mess on someone's shoes and as I'm not able to clean it myself and don't want to be constantly nagging people to clean their shoes I would just like to know how much this bothers 'normal people' (without OCD).

For example if you see a small amount of dried dog's mess on yours or someone else's shoe do you clean it? How do you go about that? (e.g. do you wear gloves?, do you handle the shoes or avoid touching them? etc.)

We are shoes-off household so it's not as though people are tracking it on their shoes through the house but it's a source of anxiety to me so would like to know what to do about it!

Yes sure. It's more that I cannot deal with it afterwards so I wanted to know how people without this type of OCD (which affects me in all sorts of ways, not just contamination concerns) would respond. For example I'm fairly sure that showering for hours until my skin bleeds immediately after walking near someone elses shoe and using bleach in the shower is abnormal. I could not carry messy shoes outside to clean them etc.

Are you serious

I haven’t had anyone tread in dog poo in years. But when it has happened I clean them under running water at the outside tap and use an outdoor boot brush we keep for cleaning off shoes to scrub at them (which I then stick under the tap until it’s clean). I leave the shoes outside under the porch until they’re dry.

It stinks and makes me gag, so I do it as quickly as possible, no fussing about with gloves or anything. Just grab the shoes, turn on the tap and get things going. If it’s a lot of pooh I will knock it off with a stick or something before putting them under the tap.

We moved house recently (to what is supposedly a lovely area) and have brought dog poo home on our shoes and buggy wheels around 8 times within 6 months. The first time it happened was with my trainers and I threw those away as they were pretty much unsalvageable (it had got all over the suede and woven fabric) and I assumed at that point it was a one-off! Since then I've cleaned everything with spray detergent and a boot buddy, and have washed DC's shoes in the washing machine after removing all the visible poo and disinfecting. I threw out 2 doormats which were old anyways and again would have been difficult to salvage. I think that's fairly proportionate, it's absolutely gross and you have my sympathies OP

Yuck. If it's just on the sole, I would spray and scrub them with an old toothbrush (I keep them for cleaning) and then throw the toothbrush away. Then I'd leave in a shallow amount of disinfectant and then dry in the sun. If it were an older shoe on the way out and/or it had gone it onto the fabric part, I would consider just throwing it out.

you are seeing and smelling it evey day where on earth are they walking?, that sounds gross but dictating, or constantly nagging as you put it, to people because you have OCD is a bit controlling so it would be better to address that

It sounds more to me that you are imagining dog shit where there is none. Like everybody says it's unlucky and unusual to step in it or find it on your shoe, if you're careful, which most people are.

I assume you're seeing mud/dirt and thinking dog mess, OP. I had a friend with OCD and a particular fear of contamination by blood. Every mark on every surface, that looked reddish or brown, was blood in their mind.

I think stepping in dog mess is a once-every-5-years or so experience for most people.

For me, I'd probably run them under a tap (laundry room or outdoors) and given them a scrub with a long handled brush and some soapy water. If it's stinky, I'd probably gag a bit. I'd then wash my hands and go about the rest of my day.

So yes, your reaction is definitely far outside the realms of most people's normal, and you're probably being frequently triggered by things that are not dog mess. I imagine you're already seeking treatment, generally?

Yes. I have 2 sons aged 8 and 14 and live in an area where theres a lot of mess and we just buy cheap shoes

Are you sure it’s dog poo? As a family of 4 it probably happens more like twice a year here. I tend to bung the offending items in the garden and hopefully my usually lovely and unfazed DH will clean them with a bucket of hot soapy water and a stiff brush at some point. I’ve also been known to do it myself but I do try to delegate if possible.

Wipe the worst of it off on grass etc outside, then just put them in the washing machine on a short cycle if they still smell. It's something that would annoy me for a minute as people should pick up after their dogs, but we live in an imperfect world.

Buying cheap shoes to throw them away instead of learning to deal with an unpleasant but not regular occurrence is madness. It’s not nice but it does not warrant it. Also at 8 and 14 they should be more than capable of avoiding dog mess.

Rubber gloves, outside tap and an old scrubbing brush. Job done.

I can see how throwing the shoes away would be an essential solution for people who have mental health issues around germs and contamination. Though not sure what toy would do about pram wheels....

But from most of us? I really want to say don't be silly.

It seems like every day there is a small quantity of dog's mess on someone's shoes

This seems unlikely.

Everyone cleans poo off shoes thoroughly, however if you are using this as an excuse for everyone in your household to wear gloves and scrub their shoes with a toothbrush after every journey out of the house then you’re obviously taking it way, way too far.

I've only once (in over 40 years)to my knowledge had someone track dog mess into the house. I put on rubber gloves and scrubbed at it with hot soapy water, rinsed and blotted the carpet with paper towels. Probably threw the brush away and hot-washed any cloths.

I am horrified by this. It's so wasteful. Those shoes are contributing to the mass of landfill and plastic pollution. It's an awful indictment of humanity that you think this acceptable.

Just use disinfectant, a scrubbing brush, and gloves and stop this awful over consumption.

I genuinely think Ive stood in dog muck about twice in my entire life. You do the frantic scraping on nearby grass to try and get most of it off, and then the gloves go on and the shoe goes under the outside tap to get washed off. My parents have like a hard bristle brush in the garage that would have been used.

Is it in fact the case that it is just normal mud or dirt on the shoes and your OCD is telling you it's dog poo? I think that's quite likely.

Obviously people without OCD do not welcome having dog poo in the house and find it equally revolting. If I found some on someone's shoes in this house I would clean it off, not wear gloves just wash hands afterwards and throw away any cloth or paper I had used but really no one at could this be a daily occurrence

You know if you stepped in dog poo as it stinks surely and you try to get it off straight away by wiping on grass not tracking it back home unaware. If a child is too small to deal with that they'd have an adult with them who would.

You’re entitled to your opinion and I’m entitled to manage my life however I wish and that happens to include throwing away shitty shoes if that happens. Both my sons have SEN and sight problems due to a genetic issue so avoiding mess is harder for them .

It’s a very rare occurrence…. only happened once every few years.
DH and I would clean it ourselves and one of us would clean it off kids shoes.

Save your outrage for bigger polluters than the single parent with SEN trying to manage SEN children and a busy life. I’m pretty sure the few pairs of extra shoes we will dispose of in our lifetime will not be the straw that breaks the camels back for planet Earth

Or perhaps come to the London borough of Brent and campaign for dog owners to pick up their mess and tackle the issue at source if you’re that bothered about the landfill I’m contributing to.

@FruitPolos

I am horrified by this. It's so wasteful. Those shoes are contributing to the mass of landfill and plastic pollution. It's an awful indictment of humanity that you think this acceptable.

That's right, kick the disabled person for managing as best they can in this shitty world where everyone is out to have a go.

Just use disinfectant, a scrubbing brush, and gloves and stop this awful over consumption

While you are at it be truly grateful never to have been so affected by something you cannot control that you are able to do this.

Then go have a think about your hand wringing and consider whether it was necessary here.

Dog mess makes me gag, it’s horrific. One of the reasons we don’t own a dog despite loving dogs. I am on high alert on the walk to school as we unfortunately have some inconsiderate lazy dog owners near us. I would stick my kid in pumps and get my husband to sort it when he finished work, I can’t stand it. If it goes on wellies or pram I hose them down outside whilst trying not to breathe in. The worst cleaning job of all time.