...to expect people not to assume I'm a man because they don't recognise my first name?

[MrsThierryHenry]

If I ever receive an email from someone who signs at the bottom and I don't recognise the first name (i.e. it's foreign), I would never assume the gender of that person. I would just right back: Dear or Dear .

But people are always writing back to me 'Dear Mr '. I know it's not the biggest issue on the planet, but it's bloody irritating! If they're going to be presumptuous, why not assume I'm a woman, for goodness' sake?

Well, Theirry is usually a blokes name?

Thierry is a tricky one though

I'd assume it was a bloke

oh x posts

it is like a gunfight in here

Great minds, cap.

Dear John Smith is rude IMO, it is standardised computer-driven terminology

Dear John is too familiar for an organisation

so I think you're wrong h'actually

That's why i am now nigella.
perhaps thierryella?

Message withdrawn

Re Thierry jokes, hahaha...yesssssssss.

Twig, I'm not even referring to standardised letters, I'm talking about emails sent by a person. So YOU'RE wrong (mwa hahaharrr)

Aimsmum - why don't you send him that email? It'll make the point and he'll feel embarassed!

In case you're all genuinely wondering, my real name really isn't Mrs Thierry Henry! Does that clear up a thing or two?!

well, yes, of course! Because then, your first name would be Mrs, innit?

In my last job i used to sign letters G Moon, with job title underneath. It was I suppose not the sort of job you would get lots of women doing - i used to love when people phoned up and asked for Mr Moon and told them there was no such person working there. Half the time people would think I was my own assistant just because I was female!

hehehe! Hey, maybe if I changed my real name to 'Mrs' it would clear up any confusion? Can't imagine someone writing 'Dear Mr Mrs'.

Other annoying thing is when people spell my name wrong when I've emailed it to them. Why not just copy and paste?

Ohhhh I'm on a stroppy roll...get me off it, quick!

Message withdrawn

I have a foreign name, most people assume I am a man.

It doesn´t bother me at all. After all, I am a foreigner and came to this country. I can´t expect the Brits to know all existing names in all cultures!

I point it out, nicely, or ignore it.

Why does it make you so cross???

I have a unisex name and often get letters addressed to Mr.

It IS annoying!!

I tend to go for the Quakery option of calling people by their full name without a title actually. (dear Thierryhenry)

It makes me annoyed, Chandon, because I don't see why people shouldn't stop and think. Like you, I don't expect anyone to know my name, but why should they assume an unknown name is male? Why not assume it's female? Why assume anything at all? It doesn't take much thought to just copy the person's name as they have written it themselves, but people frequently don't bother.

My experience is different from yours because I've lived in the UK all my life. On the whole I find Brits don't always make an effort to learn foreign names. When I was a child in the 1970s the non-PC attitudes meant my teachers decided to anglicise my name rather than learn how it should be pronounced. As a shy 5-year-old I clearly wasn't in a position to demand that they say my name properly. Fast forward to now, and it's just the same old name laziness in different shoes.

Message withdrawn

Hmm...she prob thought it was a neat way to break the ice, but it's not exactly a compliment, is it?!

Just to comment that it's not that Brit's make no effort with foreign names, they make no effort with any name they haven't heard before and would rather change it to something familiar than say it wrong. Talayeh becomes Tally, Alisa becomes Lisa (when I was at school) Stien becomes Steve and so on. So it's not that we're prejudice just plain lazy!!!
Perhaps you should put your cup size at the bottom of every correspondence!

Grapefruitmoon - a male friend of mine who was working as a secretary once had an argument with someone on the phone who refused to believe that he was the secretary he said he was because he was a bloke!

I have problems with some of the names in work but that is becuase a lot of the employees have about six surnames apiece and often seem to rotate the order of these which don't half bugger up the filing .

First names are usually guessable though. If in doubt, don't pick just say 'dear ....'.

It's the same old thing, the default definition of 'person' is 'man'. I quite often address people I dont know as Ms or Madam just to rederss the balance...

I get the same thing, but especially if I am in email contact with a german client/business partner.

Ok I never have this issue cause my name is decidedly female, however my biggest annoyance is when my Dh and I are on paperwork together and I call up to tell them something or change something (as is my right cause my name is ON THE PAPERPWORK)
and I get a 'I am sorry mame (why mame?? You know my name!) We must speak to your husband first. Is he there?'

Why must you speak to my husband? Can I not speak? Am I so unintellegent that only a man can speak with a man you stupid sod??

That gets me annoyed Can you tell?