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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ready to move on?

4 replies

Isittime123 · 12/03/2025 09:49

NC for this
I left my partner of nearly 2 years at the end of last year. Although I loved him, and thought he was ‘the one’, his behaviour towards me deteriorated significantly and I left. I can see now that he just wasn’t that interested in me, and I’d done most of the work while we were together while he put very little effort in. It took me longer than it should have to see this and I ignored some huge red flags.

So I’ve spent the last few months focussing on me. Joined a gym, eating healthy and lost nearly a stone in weight. Got back into some hobbies I enjoy so I’m feeling a lot better and happy on my own. But I still want to find a life partner at some point.

I’d deliberately not joined OLD as I didn’t want to jump in too soon. I’ve had a couple of guys I know ask me out and I’ve said no l, but I didn’t fancy them anyway.

However, a friend of a friend added me on Facebook a while back. I didn’t think much of it until I saw him on the school run yesterday (first time in person) and he’s really attractive. This surprised me as I didn’t look at another man while I was with my ex and I thought it would take me longer to find someone else attractive.

So AIBU for thinking of dating again after less than 3 months?
Or should I wait longer? I’m not into ONS, and I’d be looking to get to know someone with a view to a relationship. I’m wondering if I should give OLD a go now, as well as checking out with some friends to see what this guy is like?
Posting here for honesty but please don’t be too brutal!

OP posts:
MissDoubleU · 12/03/2025 09:54

There’s no reason to close yourself off at all. If you feel there’s something there, explore it! You deserve happiness.

ICanTellYouMissMe · 12/03/2025 09:54

Why would you wait? There's not a mourning period after you leave a relationship!

rubberduck68 · 12/03/2025 10:40

You left a bad relationship, you've been working on yourself, tick and tick. You sound like you've picked yourself up after the last disappointment and are ready to get back on the saddle - go for it!

Isittime123 · 13/03/2025 10:31

Thanks everyone! I really thought I’d get replies saying that I hadn’t been single for long enough but this is reassuring. I do feel ready so this has helped 😊

OP posts:
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