Feeling so unhealthy

[gingertodgers]

In 40 soon and I'm really starting to worry about my health. I've never really looked after myself. Binge drank throughout my twenties and still drink a few nights a week now - although obviously not to the same levels.

My diet is full of UPFs and I don't get enough fruit or veg. I have to really make an effort to eat an apple at lunch just so I can tick off one of my 5 a day and it's always in addition to some packaged sandwich and crisps, not instead of.

I don't exercise. I genuinely hate it. But I have tried to start getting at least one walk in per day. I also vape which I know is terrible and I'm trying to cut back with a view to quitting.

My instagram is flooded with runners and gym bunnies and people eating the healthiest food and hiking every weekend. I want to be like that but it's so hard to break a lifetime of bad habits and I really don't know where to begin. At the same time I'm worried about my health, I'm overweight (not massively so but the BMI tracker tells me I am just into the overweight category).

Does anyone have any tips on where to begin? Please no hate, I know MN can be judgemental about vaping, booze and bad diet but it's what I've always known. I'm a terrible cook and have very little time, headspace and motivation to completely overhaul my life. Help!

Add some fruit to your breakfast cereal.
Cook enough dinner for two days and insist on adding vegetables every time
Buy some small weights: 1 or 2 kgs and look up a 5 minute exercise online and do it every day..while waiting for the kettle to boil or dinner to cook.
Drink more water.
Run up the stairs.

Little changes can become a habit.

What is it you are hoping to achieve most for your health? I think rather than a massive unsustainable overhaul that you won't keep up with why not make 1 or 2 small realistic goals that are the biggest priority to change for you? I'm a lazy cook and quite busy but I feel better eating something nutritionally sound so I tend to batch cook stuff that I can portion up and eat through the week / freeze for later. Makes me less likely to opt for takeout!

I would like to lose a bit of weight but overall I just want to feel healthier. I'm at age where I feel like if I carry on as I have been doing for much longer, I'm going to struggle massively with health issues and probably terrible mobility/fitness within the next decade.

My motivation levels are shit and I have no willpower when it comes to doing things I don't enjoy. The thought of getting up early to do a workout or go for a run is appalling to me. But ultimately I think I do need to change this mindset and probably parts of my personality if I want to change.

Add stuff, don't take things away. Add more fruit, more vegetables, more wholegrains, more water and so on.

I hate cooking and rely on convenience. I buy frozen fruit and vegetables. I use frozen garlic and olive oil. Exercise wise, take the stairs instead of the lift, walk to the next bus stop etc try to incorporate it into your life.

The BBC Good Food website is good for easy recipes.

It can be so difficult to start healthy habits, but pick one thing, stick to it and once it feels normal pick another thing to change. Build on successes. Surround yourself with happy people who lead healthy and active lives. Join walking and/or couch to 5k groups. 😊

I've found with exercise the key is finding an activity you actually enjoy. I'm 38 and I'm just over forcing myself to run on a treadmill to burn calories. I hate it and I can make myself for a few weeks then I'll tail off. Walking is a perfectly good form of exercise if that's all you fancy at the moment, especially if you can make it routine. I had a personal trainer for about 4 months to teach me how to use weights/gym equipment and give me confidence doing it. That's great for building a bit of muscle / future proofing your body as we age. Depends how social you are but sometimes fitness classes can be good, if you commit to a group you tend to keep going as others motivate you a bit.

Change one habit at a time and phase them in a productive way e.g.
Drink more water
Add some veg/ salad to a meal (you already do this with the apple)
Do a 5/10/15 minute burst of movement.

You can then layer in additional positive, higher goals when you've got some good foundations of better nutrition and movement and it's easier than suddenly launching in to something like C25k. Long term, it's well worth adding some strength work to keep and build muscle mass before that wastes too much.

I'm in my 40s and the gap between peers that have maintained healthy habits and those that let them slip has become quite clear.

Don't try it all at once, fad diet, no food, stopping smoking, gym 4 times a week, trying to change everything. 3 weeks in you'll give up and feel worse.

As everyone is saying, small steps, let them become embedded, next one. Youre changing habits (for your lifetime....), so find something, see if you like it enough, carry on...

Start with little changes; people try to do it all at once and it feels too much so they stop. Maybe start with a home made lunch? Or drinking only at weekends? I found similar and began to worry that despite being slim I wasn’t very healthy and I started with less processed food

Like others have said, small steps

Maybe write a list of ideas of how you can incorporate more fruit and veg, how you can cut down vapes, how to make walking more enjoyable and fit it in to other stuff you do . Then revisit and tick off one a week

This thing that helped me is when I realised 'motivation is an action, not a feeling'.

So you just have to do it. Whatever 'it' is.

Add fruit to your breakfast (go to M&S if £ allows and buy some nice fruit. That always helps me.)

Finish work and go for a walk. Find a podcast series with loads of episodes and listen to that. I'm listening to Truly Criminal. Make that walk a non negotiable and don't take your vape.

Drink on a Fri/Sat but no other time.

Small changes will build habits but I know it's tough. You can do this.

Booze and an aversion to exercise are my challenges. I'm still working on that first one. But exercise is a miracle drug for all ailments, physical and mental. Two things I try - just old fashioned walking and also cycling. I try to schedule a walk with a friend - then you can't just not do it and you get to chat. Or listening to a podcast/music.

How do you get to work? Can you add in a walk or cycle?

Diet - I just don't get on with fruit. Just try to keep up the veg that you like and cut out the worst of the sugary/salty/fried/UP foods. Fried salty things are my weakness. Read the book Ultra Processed People. It gave me a genuine aversion to some of my favourite things! As pp said - cook enough for 2-3 meals at a time. Frozen veg is as good as fresh usually.

Most importantly - think about what you want from being healthier. When I was your age sheer vanity got me to lose weight. More recently, cancer made me exercise and improve my diet further. My next step is to cut back on the wine.....

Quit alcohol completely and get a dog. ❤️

If you can afford it I would consider trying to get Mounjaro, it will absolutely help with the weight loss but it can also help with the drinking, even just a few nights per week will be doing you no favours whatsoever- once that stops you will feel better. Mounjaro will curb your tendency to opt for the UPFs too, you can then use the lack of appetite to adopt better eating habits such as eating far more fruit and vegetables.

Drink water, at the very bare minimum 2 litres, probably 3-4 if you want better results.

Start taking a multivitamin, add in a high dose vit C and D too. Be consistent with this.

Consider Quitting the vapes. Breathing in chemical clouds isn’t good for anyone.

Do the above and I guarantee you will feel far better and be optimising your health and wellbeing for the long term. Forget the past you work with what you’ve got, good luck!

Download the Active 10 app and it monitors how briskly you walk, it gives you an incentive to walk faster and more. You aim for 3 x 10 active10s a day - ie 30 mins of brisk walking. I really like it and it’s encouraged me to walk more.

Sending sympathy op. It is hard, I'm struggling at the minute too I think breaking habits is the worst part.

What I struggle with when I make changes is the constant thought of food or bad snacks and the hunger pangs. Even though I know logically that I'm eating enough, it's just my body craving the chocolate, the biscuits and the butter and fat etc.

Do you have any goals to look towards? I managed to lose 2.5 stone before our wedding, both of us did actually, although DH lost quicker than me! I was like the tortoise in the tortoise and hare story, slow and steady! He lost a ton at first then would plateau or gain a pound. I was always half a pound or a pound off a week. It was knowing I had that end goal, my last dress fitting and wanting the seamstress to be taking it in that made me determined.

Now fast forward 6 years and I've put it back on again! 2 children later and a stressful life with various things going on. DH has gone on a strict cut back again but I'm struggling as I've not got a goal this time round. Only our family holiday in August but it's not abroad so most likely will be in a rain jacket and jeans anyway!

Mindset is the hardest to change. Think of a big goal or book an amazing holiday abroad next year (if you're able to), save for it and also make that the weight loss goal. Don't worry if like me when you cut back you feel starving at first, you need to push through those first 2 weeks until your body catches up with your mind. Then don't despair about it just being a pound a week. You may be lucky and not have as sluggish a metabolism as me and lose quicker, but the key is the mindset and to push through the despair.

Good luck x

Buy a walking pad and stick it front of the Tv and watch your favourite show whilst walking.

Buy fresh fruit and make a fruit salad that will last a few days. Just dig into it with a spoon when you open the fridge.

Keep following those health accounts but age appropriate ones. Healthy/fit eating healthy over 40/50 and so on.

Get some small weights and do a little routine - again in front of TV etc if you hate it so much. Or put on some favourite tunes that take you back whilst doing it.

Make your own sandwich the night before on wholegrain bread with healthy fillings. Eat low fat snacks and keep eating those apples.

I think a big part of that is finding something you really enjoy. My exercise history is super sketchy. I used to do a ton of yoga, even went as far as travelling to India to do teacher training. After quite a few years, I got really bored of it. It was no longer enjoyable, I was kicking myself for skipping my morning practice. Then I though, to hell with it! And I started weightlifting. Obsessed with that for about 5 years, in the gym constantly, reading research, focusing on nutrition, toying with the idea of completive power lifting. Then one day, I realised that I don't want to do it anymore. I still dragged myself to the gym but the frequency of the workouts dwindled. I kicked myself... you get the gist...
Now I am trying various things which don't feel like a workout but are just pure fun. There is an Ice Skating ring close to my house, we go there at weekends. An hour of ice skating shows up as 10k steps on my fitness watch. I tried pole dancing just before Christmas and fell in love. I now go twice a week. I did a beginner West Coast Swing course - 2h of dancing once a week for 4 weeks. Loved it. None of it feels like structured exercise but I am moving my body nearly every day of the week now.
I can't be bothered to do 10 min youtube video at home. But I am quite happy to go and hang out with nice people doing silly things. There is an 80s dance group in a local community center that I may give a go.
Just see what is happening in the immediate vicinity of your house/office. You might be surprised at the breadth of physical activities on offer that don't at all feel like exercise.

Going for a walk most days is more than lots of people do. I'd keep doing that as your exercise for now and worry about the diet first.

What kinds of meals do you eat at the moment - what does a typical week of dinners look like for you?

Try adding one veg into each of your dinners. So if you'd have pizza and chips, add a salad and slightly reduce your portions of the other stuff.

Cook a big chilli or curry or something like that with some veg in that can be frozen in portions and have that once a week for a few weeks.

Thank you for all of the helpful replies. I was expecting a bashing for the booze and vapes.

My weekly evening meals tend to consist of pasta, meat, pies, we have a Gousto box 3 nights which are always pretty balanced. But we without fail have a takeaway every weekend and I eat a lot of pre packed convenience food.

I think it's because life feels like hard work right now. I work, I have young dc and no help so there's never a break. I get an instant hit from things like vaping, booze and certain food that feels like a reward. I've been using them for comfort because they are easy and enjoyable but ultimately it is doing nothing for my health.

The pp who said you can tell the difference between those who have kept up with healthy habits and those who have not. I can already see it. And I hate it. My face is bloated and lined in comparison to some of my friends. It's just really hard to break these habits even when you know they are no good.

Absolutely with you. Small steps. I downloaded the (free) Finch app and it’s really helpful as you can add (or it suggests) small goals and gives you lots of praise for ticking them off whilst you grow a pet and get rewards. Super positive and lovely - no guilt tripping!