Wanting to work part time

[AmIJustLazy]

Hi everyone,
I've been working full-time in a highly stressful job since my daughter was 11 months old. I'm the head of a core department in a struggling secondary school, teaching over half of Year 11 and half of Year 10. I'm also the only member of my department who does form time, lunch time, and after-school interventions. The workload is relentless, and I am in the building from 7 AM to 5 PM every day. I also work once DD is in bed and on Saturday while she is at a club.
Childcare is always a struggle, but I am lucky to have a lot of family support. However, I feel like I am missing out on so much because I never get to do school runs or attend assemblies. We are lucky my husband, mum, MIL or FIL have always been able to attend.
Recently, I was diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune disease, so I spend a lot of time in hospital or running around after prescriptions. This condition is brought on by stress and stress can make symptoms worse.
I'm desperate for another baby but can't imagine I'll conceive when I'm this stressed. My DH says we can look at part time after maternity leave.
We save £1850 a month, so I feel like I could afford to drop a day of work. I'm obsessed with the idea and find myself resenting people who work part-time. AIBU to want to work part-time and prioritize my health and family?
Any advice or insights would be greatly appreciated!

This shouldn’t be how it works FYI. The childcare bill should be taken from household expenses NOT just one persons’ salary. All money into one account, all bills paid. Leftover spit equally.

He does a lot of stuff round the home.

Sorry, can we just go back to the sister part?!? Why does he want to help his sister be part time and not his wife?😲

I was a part time teacher for 7 years.
Pros
Time with my children
Easier to go to school events as I was either off or could negotiate with my job share partner to swap days around
Time to get things done in the house so less stressed at weekends and in the evening

Cons
Less money
Affect on pension
Comments from other members of staff
Being last one to be considered at work and just having to fit in

His sister has experienced a huge trauma so I think it was more a reaction to that but I also he knows how unhappy I am at work.
As far as intervention goes we have to have ours on a Monday to facilitate the other core subjects having a day for afterschool/ lunch due to their own staff being part time and I’m the only teacher teaching my subject in yr11 who does not have a senior leadership meeting on a Monday so it all falls on me.

The chronic condition really cuts into my time as well. In the past two weeks it’s been 2 nurse appointments, 2 blood tests and 30 minutes waiting in the doctors for them to find some medication they had misplaced.

Firstly childcare costs are a household cost.

Secondly the difference to your maternity pay whether you work full or part time won't be much overall. Work it out.

Thirdly, you can't put a price in your health .

In your shoes unless my housing was incredibly unstable I'd work the days per week. There are no prizes for martyring yourself and you can't put a price on your health.

What are you saving for exactly?

Sounds like you need to go PT pdq, otherwise DH will want to rely on your FT wage to finance him to follow his dreams of being self employed....so he can bankroll his sister. Lol.

If you are needing to go part time due to stress, health issues etc is it the best idea to be considering a baby? Surely you will only get more stressed with a new baby and obviously it will mean time spread even more thin than now with medical appointments and caring for a newborn.

I would work three days. You can afford it and life is too short to work that way with a family. I have a very senior position and went back 2.5 days after DC. I LOVE the balance it gives me

I mean this in the kindest way but I think you should have counseling around needing to ask this question - as in why you have to justify quite so hard wanting to drop a few hours for your health and happiness when you can clearly afford to. And your username......no, you don't sound remotely lazy.

Do it (and the counseling!)

Well the plan was to make a flexible request after we had another baby but work has really gone up a gear and I was only diagnosed in December so it’s all quite new. Though as I wrote this I’ve realised it’s now March!
I think for a long time I’ve just got on with it because I didn’t want to admit it was overwhelming me.
I met with HR today and they sent me a form to make the request!
I really appreciate all the responses.