Always me getting the baby sitter

[claydia]

Both me and DP have young teen DC. I have mine full time, he has his every other weekend, once in the week and most school hols.

Every time we want to do something at the weekend it is me going over to his and there for me who gets a baby sitter for my DC, it's been like this since everyone was first introduced.

I brought this up with DP last night and said maybe the next time we want to do something, he can come to mine and it's him that's gets his DC looked after instead. He said that wouldn't be fair as he doesn't have his DC has much as I have mine. We can leave them both on their own sometimes but can't always afford to be going out every time we see each other.

Who is being unreasonable here?

If he has DC every other weekend why doesn't he come to you on the weekend he doesn't have them? Then no babysitting required

Sorry, he has them every weekend, not every other 🤦‍♀️

you aren't forced to go to his, if he wants to prioritise his DC, then allow him to do that and don't go.

It's only you doing all the "going to his" because you do it all... Just don't do it.

When you first deciding to start dating again what where your plans on where the children were going to be whilst you were out on a date?

@Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou We just sort of slipped in to me getting the babysitter as default!

Well, time to change things then.

Talk to him, say you seem to have slipped into doing all the babysitting arrangements, you didn't mean for that to happen and it's going to have a change and adapt going forward.

Just talk to him.

But what I really mean is, when you signed up for the dating app, or signed up for going out with your mates - where did you think the kids were going to be, whilst you were out on dates? I'm genuinely asking although I appreciate i sound sharp lol

Do teenagers need babysitting now?

If they are old enough to be left on their own then why are you getting babysitters?!

Do young teens need a babysitter, why can’t your children go over to his house or his come to yours?

Can't you do things together with the DC and save adult dates for weeknights/more occasionally like a normal relationship? Are your DC not feeling a bit ignored at school all week then you gone at the weekend?

They're old enough to be left for an hour or so, not all evening or overnight.

So you're going to his house, getting your DC a babysitter, but his DC is there? That doesn't make much sense, why not have both DC there, no babysitter needed?