We welcomed our 3rd DS 5 months ago and moved house in the same week. In laws have visited 3 times since including a long week over Christmas. They live 4 hours away in Scotland and we live near my family (10 mins away). We get on well and they have been so kind and supportive of us financially too. We used to visit regularly but it has been so chaotic recently adjusting to having 3 young children.
In the past month both FIL and MIL have been unwell and required day case operations. Nothing life threatening, but it’s obviously been a tough time for them. I had suggested DH visits at this time but they preferred he visits when they’re recovered and the kids can go too, not term time. There is also an elderly relative that lives near them (who doesn’t seem to get on with anyone) but has been having a lot to say about the fact he hasn’t met our newest DS.
The issue is that I am also registered cat breeder and currently have a litter of Maine coons who will be 6-7 weeks in Easter hols and I am not able to leave them. (this litter whilst on maternity leave was actually my DHs suggestion)
I had suggested that DH visits with our 2 older children (5,2) and I stay here with the baby. Baby is breastfed bottle refuser. Toddler also breastfeeds but would be fine away for few days. However I know it’s going to be a sore subject that relative hasn’t met the baby, and grandparents will also be disappointed baby isn’t going.
DH wants me to ask my parents to check on the cats and for me to come for 24 hours (ie 8 hours of driving!). This would also mean 4 trips to feed the kittens for my parents, as they eat frequently at this age. Parents are very helpful with childcare but have their own responsibilities (live with my disabled sister, childcare for nieces and nephews, father has a chronic illness) and I am worried this is too much to ask them.
AIBU saying no??