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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think a job application isn't that hard?

27 replies

Sadhappiness · 11/03/2025 00:28

My DH is looking to find a new job because he hates his job. He's seen one that he wants but he's spent so much time ranting about the application process. He started to complete the application yesterday morning and then continued yesterday evening once the kids went to bed. He had a massive strop this morning because he didn't finish it last night. (I did offer to take the kids out but he wanted to come with us) This evening he was playing a game on his phone, and I asked if he was going to do the application tonight. He said no, he was too tired. I gave him a bit of a talking to and told him to do it. He did it for a while, with a lot of my help. But he then stopped with it unfinished. This is someone who came into the bathroom this morning while I was showering to tell me how annoyed he was with himself that he didn't complete the application. I just wanted to have a quiet shower. He has now decided to stop with the application unfinished because he's too tired. Is he going to rant at me again in the morning about how he's not disciplined enough to complete the application?

The last time I applied for a job (around a year ago) I sat down at the laptop and just got on with it. Why does this have to be so difficult?

OP posts:

ForZanyAquaViewer · 11/03/2025 00:32

It really depends on the job. If he’s doing an application for a senior or specialised role in certain sectors, that can be pretty onerous.

iamnotalemon · 11/03/2025 00:34

I HATE completing job applications.

But had he actually done it rather than spent time moaning about it, it would have been done by now 🤣

Original poster

Sadhappiness · 11/03/2025 00:35

No. It's the same job he's doing now. He just doesn't like where he's working.

OP posts:

Aaron95 · 11/03/2025 00:42

When did he last apply for a job? If you haven't gone through the process for a long time it can be daunting.

PlantDoctor · 11/03/2025 00:43

They're tedious and frustrating. Sounds like he's overreacting because he maybe feels a bit of imposter syndrome or something?

Original poster

Sadhappiness · 11/03/2025 00:44

I've listened to hours of him complaining about his current job, I've also listened to hours of him complaining about getting a new job. I suppose I just don't want to have to coach him through getting a new job. It's exhausting.

OP posts:

thislifer · 11/03/2025 00:53

Jeez he sounds like such a big baby. Can't you tell him to grow up and just leave you out of whatever he is or isn't going to do?

(Newsflash: he isn't going to apply for the new job, and somehow it will be someone else's fault and you'll hear all about it. If by some miracle he does apply for it in time, but doesn't get it, it will be someone else's fault and you'll have all about. Ad Infinitum until one of you dies).

BackoffSusan · 11/03/2025 01:06

Depends what job it is. I'm job hunting at the moment after a period of being a SAHM. My background is in design so I've had to create a website to showcase my portfolio, it has about 150 pages on there within various categories. It took me a week. I've redone my CV. It all takes alot of time. And where I live (overseas) you usually have to provide references and proof of certificates (education) as part of the process. It's so tedious and time consuming. I usually can do 1 application a day.
If he's struggling I'd advise him to try chatgpt and putting his existing CV in and the the job description of the new role and seeing if it generates any ideas to use as a starting point.

Elendel · 11/03/2025 05:03

It absolutely depends on what he does for a living.

My child's application to restaurant work took mere minutes as it required a brief personal details form and a CV attachment.

My teaching applications can easily take half a day each, what with the need to enter every single GCSE and A-level result into a different style form every time, in addition to named and dated training sessions, my now pretty long job history and a tailored essay on my achievements to date.

BlondiePortz · 11/03/2025 05:06

OP how would you feel if your husband gave you 'a bit of a talking too? and tried to tell you that you were not trying hard enough or something was simple? would that perfectly fine?

Penguinmouse · 11/03/2025 05:08

“DH, it sounds like you are struggling with this job application. It must be closing soon - what do you need to do to complete it?”

whatisforteamum · 11/03/2025 05:17

I helped mine with some applications as he struggled after years in the same job.
I don't find them too bad now as I've done loads.
My guess is he is stressed about changing jobs and this is getting on top of him.
Hopefully he finds the motivation to finish it.

springintoaction321 · 11/03/2025 05:19

BlondiePortz · 11/03/2025 05:06

OP how would you feel if your husband gave you 'a bit of a talking too? and tried to tell you that you were not trying hard enough or something was simple? would that perfectly fine?

Trouble is -he's being a dick about the whole thing and not getting on with it.

Bizarrely - my DH used to do this about getting his haircut. ie I really need to get my haircut.... My hair is getting too long: it needs cutting ... etc etc He goes to the same barber every time, knows where it is.etc But for some reason, would have to re-iterate continuously, sometimes for a few weeks. Soooo annoying.

I think the OP has it harder here. The basic message to her DH - if you don't like something - change it.

springintoaction321 · 11/03/2025 05:21

Just to add I gave him 'a talking to' ie told him to please stop rabbiting on and on about his hair and he doesn't now 😂 He just gets his haircut.

Bjorkdidit · 11/03/2025 05:52

Sadhappiness · 11/03/2025 00:35

No. It's the same job he's doing now. He just doesn't like where he's working.

But it could still take a lot of time to fill in the application to a good standard and answer the questions about skills, experience and suitability for the job in the right amount of words.

But needs must if he wants to leave and work elsewhere.

Woahtherehoney · 11/03/2025 05:57

I think you’re all missing the point of OP’s post - I think she’d sympathise with him a lot more about the job application if he didn’t keep ranting at her about it! Yes these things can take a long time but he’s constantly moaning and ranting at OP and that isn’t ok - he needs to just get on with it when he can in his own time.

Suns1nE · 11/03/2025 07:34

Depends on the job. I’m applying for a job and the initial application was the standard application form then 3 timed online tests. It took me a while to complete as I needed to be in the right headspace to do it and have the energy and concentration.

AgnesX · 11/03/2025 07:39

From scratch and to a good standard does take time. That said, he has to start somewhere. If he's tired then maybe breaking it into small chunks would work better.

I've seen Cv's and submissions that have been excruciating in their lack of effort.

Runnersandtoms · 11/03/2025 07:40

My DH has to apply for the job he's been doing for years on temporary promotion. It's still really stressful because they have all these sections where you have to give examples of how you have met various criteria, and if you don't hit all the key words you won't get invited to interview. Plus trying to fit it within the word limits. I'm not sure why it's not possible to say, this person has been successfully doing the job and now we'd like to make it permanent.

Auburngal · 11/03/2025 08:01

If it’s on a platform called Workday, it’s horrendous! You upload CV and then have to go through the pre-filled forms then amend the dates. As they put all start month of your jobs in Jan and all end dates are in December. So if you had two jobs in a year, it looks like you worked at both at the same time! Then have to put duties/responsibilities in as some get missed out!

On Sunday I did some questions for an interview on Sapia. Never done this before. You get STAR questions and had to type responses (no time limit) and min word allowed was 50. Think the limit was 200. I did an average of 125. Being dyslexic this was a fantastic way. As could take time! Plus I did number and language tests on Moodle.

PoppyBaxter · 11/03/2025 08:33

I've applied for various jobs in my 20 year career, and over the last 5+ years the process has become unbearable and time consuming. I will often take an entire day to complete an application, carefully tailoring my respnses to the competency questions for the role I'm applying for.
I miss the days where you emailed across a CV and were done!

GreyAreas · 11/03/2025 08:52

Charitably, he may be procrastinating because he's anxious. Fine for you to say you don't want to hear any more about it though!

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 11/03/2025 08:53

Applications are soul destroying
I once had to do a "personality type" questionnaire
Took ages. I didn't get the job because personality type wasn't right!

We like to share our misery and pain with others. He's just using you as a sounding board for his issues. You are doing the same here

Auburngal · 11/03/2025 09:12

Another job rejection.
I feel that I’m never going to get another job. I’m so bloody fed up.

I’m only in this position of being unemployed due to one horrible bully of a store manager. Asked the stores nearby if they had jobs. No.

I would still be working at the supermarket if he never became the store manager.

My dyslexia causing not able to secure jobs plus the stupid AI software that companies use to scan CVs which do not understand transferable skills.

Original poster

Sadhappiness · 11/03/2025 10:17

I do appreciate how tedious job applications are. It's not my favourite thing to do either. I have been helping him with it and he's pulled out an application he did last year which gives him a lot of the personal statement, it just needs to be tweaked.

What is getting to me more is the reluctance to do it and then the moaning and bad mood when he doesn't do it. It's always someone else's fault. He's ranted for hours about how it's not fair that he has to go through application forms. He's equally ranted for hours about how much he hates his current job. And then I get criticised for not being a positive enough influence. I just feel worn down by it all.

OP posts:

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