Would you have knocked this friendship group on the head?

[MarioJumbo]

Last year I got back in touch with one girl from my school. friendship group - last July in fact.

went out to the cinema in September with her. She was inviting me to firstly a wedding and then 2 separate birthday parties of different girls we went to school with.

my instincts told me that she was using me as a social ‘crutch’ in these situations and I wasn’t particularly thrilled about these invites.

AIBU?

What is your friendship group(s) like outside of this person? Do you already have friends?

yes

If she didn't want you there, she wouldn't have invited you.

I think this is a problem you have, OP, and this is in your head.

With the 'glances' I think you saw something that wasn't there.

I always think I am the least interesting/ important/ liked member of my friendship group. I'd much rather see friends 1 on 1 for that reason but I'm pretty sure it's a me thing.

Maybe just don't say yes to the big events.

I think the term ‘social crutch’ is harsh.
Aren’t we all social crutches to each other?
Lose that phrase and reframe it as social friends.
Try interpreting things in a positive light.
Exchanging glances is normal and you probably do it yourself.
If you usually see the world like this you need some counselling as life is very hard when continually viewed through a negative lens.

Why would she need you as a crutch if she already gets invites and has friends before you contacted her?

Maybe you have a bit of the ‘I wouldn’t join any club that would have me as a member’ syndrome.

The weirdest post I have ever read. Either you are trolling, leaving 90 % out or you have serious problems with social interactions. If it's the latter you should seek help because this way to interpret social relationships is skewed and will be hindering you from having close relationships. Talk to your GP who can tell you where to look for help.

Ok thanks to everyone who’s taken the time to respond to this post.

i know how it might read - that my friend invites me to parties etc and I seem to have bizarrely taken offence. Believe me I understand how this might look to other people.

However - there’s a bit more to it - I’m sure you’ve all been in situations where other people are exchanging glances at each other and you feel it’s about you. This makes you feel uncomfortable and exciluded.

but one thing about my friend is when it’s my birthday and my friends she doesn’t want to come.

she also asked me to a mutual friend - Sandra’s birthday party and I made an excuse. When I asked next time I spoke to her A “did you go to Sandra’s party?” She said no

Why on earth do you imagine that your friend would have invited you to an event solely to then 'exchange glances about you' with other people?

Christ, this is a weird post.

It's very usual for MN.

Not sure why you resurrected the friendship really.

Nor me actually and blimey do I regret it !!

It seems odd to reconnect with a friend and then find it offensive she wants to include you in her social life?! Surely she's being friendly?

Some people are a bit in need of a partner in crime so to speak, they feel more confident going to things with someone than alone. Especially If she is single or her OH might not be into the same things as her. Maybe she is a bit lonely? That's not the worst thing in the world?

I guess just politely decline invites if you feel awkward. But to me it seems like you're the one being a bit oversensitive about this. Unless she is genuinely unpleasant to be around and treats you badly when you're together of course.

This post sounds like it was written by AI, plus I'm sorry op but as well as sounding very unnecessarily paranoid, you're drip feeding

From your first post, it sounded as if you had reached out to this friend, met once at the cinema and she had invited you to other events where you felt you were not wanted. You didn't even indicate in your initial post that you had actually gone to these events. If your friend already has stronger friendship bonds with these people then why on earth would she be using you as a social crutch for the occasion? There was no obligation on her to invite you so I'm not sure why you think she would have been exchanging glances with people– or if she was why this would have been about you specifically?

You say you contacted her because you thought that she would be good company but it's unclear what your definition of good company is – apparently not someone who invites you to go out to events like the cinema or is thoughtful enough to ask you along to parties of people whom you already know as her plus one? What was it you were looking for from the friendship?

I vote for AI

Possibly there was a glance or two, if you were behaving anywhere near as strangely as you are on here - people don't know how to handle awkwardness.

How did the cinema go, did you have a nice time? Would you have wanted to see her again?

A social crutch would imply that she's the shy and socially awkward one relying on you to carry her, but your examples are the other way round. I'd maybe agree if you felt she was trying to help you as she thought you were lonely - so coming from a good place but badly executed. However, a social crutch is the opposite of that.

You initiated the friendship, and it brought you into the circle of others you went to school with? Were you all friends at school? Do you now have much in common?