Who can I even speak to about this?

[BeNimbleDenimRobin]

Hi
i don’t know where to turn or who to talk to , I don’t know if the Gp would even speak to me regarding this.
I’ve had pretty crap start to this year & whereas usually my depression manifests as lashing out at myself & stuff, I’ve got to the point where I’m avoiding people or social interaction as I feel people are horrible, cruel for the most part & I wish to have nothing to do with them. I’ve got lots of past childhood trauma & met some very very unsavoury people so I’ve been very unlucky.
I feel down , alone like outsider & don’t want anything to do with people. This is impacting my life because I want to get a job again but I can’t stand people & want to rot , I always feel like waste of space no matter what I do
thx if u did read x

GP and/or self-refer to IAPT. I know the waiting list are every long but the sooner you self-refer the sooner you get in.

Your depression is manifesting itself differently. You need and deserve help, support and happiness, and your GP will listen to you.

IAPT won't touch the sides. If you are lucky enough to live somewhere with psychoanalysis on the NHS (bits of London, Leeds, parts of the Midlands...) that might be a good start. Otherwise, you'll need to go private and most psychoanalytic therapists save spaces for people who can't afford it.

Go see your GP, tell them how you're feeling, and ask if there is any chance of talking to someone about what you're going through. I had to do this a few weeks ago, and the GP increased my anti-depressants, and gave me a website to look up, where I self referred. I had an appointment to speak to someone within 3 weeks, which I think is pretty good these days. Your GP will definitely listen to what you have to say OP, so please make a point of going, and DON'T minimise how you're feeling when you go, too many people seem to do this, as if the way they're feeling is something to be ashamed of, but it's not, and if you don't give the doctor ALL the facts, then they won't be able to help you properly.

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. Do see your GP and while you're waiting for help have a look at The School of Life on YouTube. That's helped me in some very hard times

IAPT will assess and they have duty to refer to appropriate therapy/service. Even in cases where IAPT is inappropriate, I always advise to contact them first as it's a good gateway to other services.

It's only a good gateway if the staff can see beyond their training. I know many IAPT services where, if they can't help you, you just get discharged with no explanation. I also know other CMHT where IAPT is the whole front door, and the situation you describe works, but it is patchy at best.