To think I’ll become happier just by trying my best?

[BeJoyousGreyShark]

People say happiness is about circumstances, luck, or even genetics. But what if it’s really about effort? I’ve decided to put in the work - whether it’s improving my mindset, making better choices, or simply refusing to dwell on negativity. Surely, if I’m actively trying my best, happiness has to follow… right?

Or is this just wishful thinking? AIBU to believe that effort alone can lead to happiness, or is it more complicated than that?

cannot make anything worse

I think contentment is the aim.

I agree, it takes work and courage. I believe 80% of the population are not able to do this right now. I understand it is very difficult to do.

Situations in society atm are difficult and make life harder for many.

People are so incredibly distracted by the requirements of day to day life that being able to explore and understand the true underlying reason for their distress is going to be pretty challenging.

You might be interested in reading Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project. She researches this.

I'm pretty sure it's more complicated than that otherwise why wouldn't we all be happy! But I support your efforts and hope you achieve the happiness you are after. Good luck.

I think trying is a great start... The Happiness Lab podcast has some great evidence based information about happiness. Show you where is best to place that effort :)

I'd say that your mindset is critical to a happier disposition.

Small things, take pleasure from small things, a blue sky, a pretty flower, a poochy cuddle, a made bed, a washed pot. Small things mean small achievements, means small rewires of the negative brain...

Why wouldn't you always try your best? Genuine question. Surely you realise you can't take more from something than you are prepared to put in.

A while ago (a few years) I decided to try to change my outcomes by, for example, thinking about the way I would usually react to a particular situation and then deciding to do something different. That was in an attempt to change my mindset/entrenched negative reactions
I think it helped

Also try smiling- not in a mad way - but I found that the act of smiling made me feel better and it can change the way that people respond to you

I get what you’re saying and I do think effort matters. But I guess I’ve just noticed that not everyone always tries their best all the time - sometimes people coast, get discouraged, or feel like effort won’t make a difference. I’m just wondering if consistently giving it my all will naturally lead to happiness, or if other factors (luck, circumstances, mindset) play a bigger role.

I think something that can have a bearing on it is not worrying about what other people are doing (in terms of if they are making enough effort etc - maybe in the workplace)
If you do the best that you can do and are happy with that then there’s a joy to that
Focus on what you can do in your own day to day life

You also need to look into the "Let them" theory, and accept what is in your realm to get stressed/upset/negative about.

People are autonomous, they will not act how you expect, or think they should. All you can control is how you react.

I have had good luck, mostly, throughout my life. I attribute it largely to always giving of my best. I have found that the harder I work, the luckier I get.

Analysis and decision making.
Facilitating the optimal development of children
Working hard
Thinking about what I will chat about and informing myself
Planning
Trying to look my best

You would think putting the effort in would make us happy, but it depends what we get out of it. For some, if you put effort in, you get results, but that isn't always the case.

For others, putting the effort in and working hard means growth and 'small wins', whatever the outcome.

Unfortunately I get very outcome driven so I'm never content with just working hard, it doesn't feel enough for me. Something I'm working on.

Work on
Acceptance - (stop trying to change things fruitlessly that you can't change - the world will always be full of suffering, you'll never reach self improvement nirvana).
Living the life you want to lead - (so figure out your values, what makes you tick, what you would enjoy working towards) then do more of that.
Common sense changes that work- Eat healthful food, exercise a little, spend time in nature and with art, animals and people.

@Eviebeans I agree re smiling. Sometimes it's a case of fake it til you make it. I feel better when I have positive little interactions with people. So now even when I'm stressed or upset I fake smile or small talk although my instinct is wanting to frown and be grumpy. Good manners and pleasantness is almost always repayed and this has the power to change my mood

There is actually scientific research around smiling. It has been proven to lift your mood. Look it up.

If you are doing things for yourself then best effort can only be a good thing.

If the outcome is also dependant on other people's actions or influence then it's getting murky.

I think it was a golfer who once said 'the harder I practice, the luckier I get'.

I do think it can go a long way but there is also more to it. I put a lot of effort in to having positive mental health. Mainly because my mental health as a teenager was awful and it took a lot of work for me to be stable. I thought I'd nailed it, then I got pregnant and became paranoid and delusional. Twice. I was I'm a really good place during pregnancies, financial security, good relationship, work wasn't particularly stressful. The only explanation for it was hormones so I do believe that not all cases of poor mental health are due to lifestyle/mind set/social situations. There is definitely a biological factor.

I got happier when i gave up caring what others thought.

I think it's great that you are taking responsibility for your own happiness. I don't see why it wouldn't work (apart from when life throws in a few complications). Please report back.

I agree that taking responsibility for your own happiness is important. Achieving small goals you have set for yourself, putting a bit of effort into looking after yourself etc. externalising and blaming factors outside of your control seems to be a feature of miserable people ime. However, some things are other people/ factors fault, you have to accept those things that are out of your control.

It is more complicated - difficult circumstances, trauma etc, it's not always easy to do the above. If you are in the right headspace to try then more power to you.