I've been friends with someone for 8 years. We are quite different, but had a genuine sisterhood. Suprise birthday dinners, gifts, checking in on eachother....we had a true friendship. She's held me in my darkest hours, and I hers.
We had tickets for the New Years fireworks. I was sick with a bad cold for around a week in the lead up to the week of New Years Eve. The week of New Years Eve, I recieve a phone call at 2am. She's in the city, had a night out, and missed the last train into her home town. She asked to crash at mine. Without hesitation I remind her of my full address for her taxi, make up the bed in the other room, and greet her when she gets here. All whilst being sick as, coughing through the night. The next morning she went home in some comfy shoes I lent her as she arrived in heels, a more appropriate top to get home in as she was in clubwear, and I gifted her a gorgeous brand new designer top that could not fit me. My point is, I was kind when she woke me up at 2am needing somewhere to crash.
The day before New Years Eve, I did not cancel. I simply said that I was still coughing, and although I don't mind coming, could we have a nice meal at mine, see the fireworks and come back. I just wanted a quiet night. She said I should stay in and she'll go with someone else. I said I appreciate that, not to worry about my ticket - she can give it away for free. I also said please come to mine for dinner, and please stay over, as she's not from London.
She said she'll sort out accomodation elsewhere.
I asked her how the night went a couple of days after. She said fine and our exchange was short - but friendly enough.
Since then I havent heard from her.
I've asked her how she is, she hasn't text back.
I've called her several times. She doesn't pick up.
It's been around 10 weeks of just being ghosted essentially.
I'm beyond hurt. As much as I'm telling myself that we don't own others....we were true friends and this just seems so cruel. So callous. I used to think that no matter how much we grew apart or had different paths, we'd always be friends no matter what.
I sent her a message this morning asking for my stuff back super politely after another ignored call. I told her it's fine if she doesn't feel like speaking - but could we sort something and I hope she's well. No response. I doubt I'll get one.
Not all friendships are equal and I understand things naturally "fizzle". I'm not clingy or possessive as a friend. I genuienly thought we were closer than this. This is truely in my view shameful and cruel behaviour.
A few years back a very good friend who told me I was her closest friend, and who called me the minute she got engaged didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid (she had NINE) and did the hen/dinners without me. I raised it and ended the friendship.
I'm a grown woman in my mid 30's and as silly as it sounds...I'm lonely and wish I had some good solid friends. It feels so hard to make them.