Ok, I have 2 sisters in their early 60’s, I’m late 50’s.
One sister never married, and chose to stay at home with our parents, who passed away a few years ago.
One sister married, had 3 kids who are now grown up and married. We’re a close family, and I’m very close to my 2 sisters. (Well I thought I was close to both of them.)
Sister 2 got divorced around 20 years ago. Her ex husband is Italian and went back to Italy, but he would come over to see his kids from time to time, and always stayed at sister 1’s house (late parents) as it’s big.
He came over before Covid, but couldn’t get back to Italy, so ended up staying at sister 1’s house for a year. (So, staying with sister 1 at late parents house where she still lives). Now he’s over here 10 or 11 months of the year, and nips back to Italy to check on his house and olives.
Sister 2 and him got divorced as he can be a nasty guy (to his family) lovely to everyone else mind you. Him and his ex wife (sister 2) are sociable, although he is sometimes very nasty with her, shouting and balling etc. and all the family get together for meals, Christmas, birthdays etc. Me and my better half (of 25 years) used to go, and it was great, witty banter, just really daft, silly and good fun.
So, a couple of years ago sister 1 told me and my better half that her and our ex bil had kissed passionately, wanted to be together, and she pleaded with us every time she talked to us about it, not to tell my other sister (his ex wife).
Sister 1 has, in the past, attempted to take her life, and so we ALL tread VERY carefully with her for obvious reasons.
She said if we told sister 2, that it would cause HUGE upset in the family, his kids would NEVER talk to him again, or talk to her again (and she really, really loves our nieces and nephew).
My sister (his ex wife) had / has absolutely NO desire to EVER re-kindle a relationship with him. Especially as he was so vile, abusive and cruel to her in the marriage. Hard to believe when he’s laughing and being the charming Italian. No one would ever guess what he was like behind closed doors.
So, a few weeks ago sister 2 and I had a falling out, partly as me and my better half no longer go to the get togethers, and so we haven’t seen my nephew and nieces for a long while. It was very heated, and I told her WHY we had stopped coming; because we couldn’t stand the deceipt of what was going on with sister 1 and her ex, and that it sickened us. She wasn’t upset, as she has no feelings for him other than affection and obviously still cares about him, but she was surprised. She actually really laughed about the thoughts of it, as it seemed so ridiculous and very eeeeew. 🤢
So, sister 1 who is very intelligent, super manipulative, lies and misleads by omission, has told sister 2 that my better half and I have completely lied. 🤯🤯
We knew “things” would start falling into place though, as my other sister et al, thought about it.
Sister 1 does not know, that sister 2 has told me that just 2 nights ago when she asked her about it again, she has called me a complete liar, but, sister 2 does believe me, because as I said, things have really clicked into place now. Dates, events etc.
So, now I’m in a difficult position. I have said to sister 2 that I’m happy to meet with sister 1, 2, and ex bil, because I have nothing to hide as I know truth is on my side. I think if someone lies / accuses someone of lying everyone concerned should meet to discuss it calmly.
We have to tread so carefully with sister 1, so I don’t know what to do.
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Confront her and clear my flippin’ name, as my nieces, nephew, their wives, husbands, in-laws are not sure if I have lied. But, if I do this it could cause a massive rift between sister 1, 2, ex bil and his kids… which would be awful. BECAUSE they would be infuriated at the lack of loyalty to sister 2, from sister 1 and their dad.
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Just leave it, to keep the peace, but always be (possibly) thought of as an absolute liar. If so, I’ll just stay away from them all, as me and better half are really happy on our own. And, sister 2 does believe me.
My better half and I are ABSOLUTELY gobsmacked that sister 1 has completely denied it, as has ex bil. who is living there at the moment. Funny, it was only a week ago that sister 1 told me “how much she loves me”. Wow. 🤯
Sister 2 and me don’t want to hurt sister 1.
Yes, I feel awful I didn’t tell sister 2 at the time. I did try, but I kept thinking what sister 1 had said about the hurt and the family trouble it would cause, and I was worried that, when ex bil went back to Italy and she was alone that she might “do something” if no one was bothering with her… and, as I said, sister 1 said it would completely destroy the family, so I didn’t say anything. Bearing in mind I knew sister 2 had NO desire to EVER be in a relationship with him again.
So, would it be unreasonable to talk to sister 1 and ex bil and ask them to tell the truth? BUT If I do, yes, my name is cleared but it might cause a huge rift. Is it worth it just to “clear my name”?