WIBU to split cost of holiday four ways?

[Eldermilleniallyogii]

3 adults and 1 child (age 3) going on holiday. Holiday package will not give clear split of cost. Mother and daughter will share one room. Younger daughter will share with her DC3. Would you just split the cost of the holiday four ways? They have a room each so makes sense to split the accommodation costs equally and the child will also need a seat on the plane but we had thought the child place might have been cheaper than an adult space.

Splitting four ways seems fair however will mean in practice A and B will each pay a quarter of the cost while C will pay half as she is paying for C and D but it is her child.

How would you split the cost?

Is there a better way to do this?

I am the one looking for the holiday, booking it (if we go), I will probably sort out transport to the station as my mum wouldn't haven't a clue and neither of them drive so there's a good chance I'd be picking them both up and taking them to the airport. Maybe I'm in a bad mood but the whole prospect seem less attractive this morning...

If it was my niece or grandchild I would be happy for the cost to be divided by three.

I don't understand your logic in the context that these 3 women love eachother and wabt to spend time with eachother.

If my 2 sisters and I each have a holiday budget of £1000 but one of us has a child and the other 2 don't, then if we were to split the holiday cost 4 ways we are limited to holidays that cost no more than £2,000 for the 4 of us (including the child) despite there being a theoretical budget of £3000. The two childless sisters may only be paying £500 but are getting a significantly less luxurious holiday than they could afford and have to compromise on comfort and facilities that are available at a higher price point. The 2 childless sisters are having to slum it uncomfortably to stay within the budget of the 3rd sister.

If we choose a holiday where the sister who has a child pays the £1000 they can afford and the 2 sisters without children pay £800 each then the whole holiday costs £2,600 and is a step up the ladder of comfort and luxury and all 3 of us have a nicer time, and the 2 childless sisters have a bit leftover from what they could afford for extra treats of they want.

In our family, where we do love each other like this, we are happy to cross-subsidise eachother because the alternative is either not going on holiday together at all or going on holidays which are uncomfortable and don't meet the standards we consider the minimum for an enjoyable break.

Maybe split into 7ths. Adults pay 2/7ths, child 1/7th.
I'd just split it three ways but aware a lot wouldn't.

This seems the best solution.

The flight price will be different due to APD so if it's split 4 ways the op is subsidizing the other adults. You really need a proper breakdown of costs.

Fair way to do this would be first to look at the price for four adults vs three adults with one child. If they are different, get the price for three adults without child. Subtract that from three adults with one child and that's your child price.

If you just do it by comparing price for three adults vs price for three adults plus one child, you may see a discounted rate that would apply to any fourth traveller, child or adult, so it's not your child's discounted rate.

If price for four adults is same as price for three adults plus one child, you pay 1/4 for you and 1/4 for the child.

If it's not far off, I'd offer to pay the 1/4 anyway, but that's up to you.

Tell the family how you worked it out, tell them what you are paying, and if they want to subsidize you and the child that's for them to offer. But people show love in other ways - I wouldn't expect anyone to pay my child's flight and accommodation. Hope you get some free babysitting out of them though, and hope you all have a great time!

This is something for the rest of the family to offer if they think it's needed and it's their way of showing love. OP can't assume it and bill them for her child's expenses. Your family sounds great but her family probably isn't in exactly the same situation.

Yes - APD is probably £15, if economy and not long haul. You could certainly subtract this.

With the update on circumstances I’d also suggest 40:30:30.

I would split it by four. For those saying 3 year old shouldn't pay, well she isn't paying, her mum is. She will still cost as an adult on flight.

If the child is taking up an adult bed in a twin room and has a seat on the aeroplane they cost as much as an adult
I would split accommodation and flights 4 ways. But then all food split 3 ways, the small amount that the toddler eats will be equivalent to the kids discount on plane tickets.

I’d be honest and explain to your mum that the budget won’t work for you, as you’d have to pay double that to take your daughter. Ask her if she realises that your daughter will have to pay for a seat on the plane, and will be the cost of an adult for the accommodation.

Lots of people (especially grandparents in my experience!) have no clue how much it costs to take kids on holiday.

I think it's entirely reasonable that you might split 3 ways - I'd probably suggest it in your mum or sister's position - but it just would be presumptuous of you to assume that. You need to talk to them not us, don't get grumpy about "having" to pay double when you don't even know what their take on it is. They might be assuming a 3 way split because DD is so little, they might be horrified by the idea of you paying double. You just don't know.

This is about people as much as money, and affordability comes into it with family who want to spend time together. Talk to them, say turns out it's a bit pricey with flights X2, how about a UK break instead or driving to France?

Now is a good time to do this because once DD is at school, going away with her will likely mean asking relatives to pay a premium for going in school hols.

You could solve this by finding accommodation you all like, which also offers a free child place. That’s then really black and white!

Or let them lead with or be involved in costing it. For example, you all sit down with the iPad and look at X holiday and it costs £3600. You say that’s completely out of your reach, as your budget is £1200 absolute maximum. They either say ok, let’s keep looking, or they look at you like you have 2 heads and say ‘but your share would be £1200’ so you know they intended a 3 way split.

When it’s others who will be picking up the ‘slack’, I do think it’s polite to let them lead. Our friendship group is 1 x family of 5, 2 x families of 4 and us (3). When we do joint group weekend trips, dinners out etc, every time without fail the family of 5 suggest a split per person (so they cover their whole share). We always refuse because we just split per family, however it is much appreciated that they do acknowledge it even though we wouldn’t ever take them up on it. It’s more noticeable if it’s just us (3) and them (5) in terms of bills (all adult prices) but we still insist on halves. It’s not cheeky on their part because it’s led by the party that it (technically) financially disadvantages. If they had always insisted on a 50/50 split, I’m not sure if it would have started to grate after a while….

Could you cost up same holiday just for you and your DC (3). If your cost of splitting 4 ways is a bit lower than that, I’d be happy. Otherwise, it’s unfair to you to pay the same or more for sharing.

Hopefully you get a bit of babysitting too!

Can’t you go on the website and price the holiday for 2 adults.
Then do it again for 1 adult 1 child, and see what the difference is. If you’ve only just booked it, it won’t have increased that much.

Yes I agree, we've had the reverse situation where our childless couple friends had less budget than us (600pp), two diff holidays available.

One within their pp budget cost us £1800 as no free child places so we had to pay for our child.
Another better holiday had a free child place and cost us less then £1800 but then £700pp. We told them to pay their £600pp and we then will pay the rest which was £1600. Everyone was happy. We don't feel we are subsidising their holiday as we also gain from having extra pair of hands to entertain our child plus we love them and a better holiday, better flight times etc.

I'm sure another time they will pay more than us if our budget is less! E.g. when we have to pay for 2 kids to pay for!

It doesn't always have to be exact - but everyone needs to feel happy with the agreed amount.

Op could find several options and explain to her mum and sister the different costs and benefits - explaining you can only afford X amount total. They may offer to pay more to get a nicer holiday.

Agree with those saying go online and get the quotes for each room separately. If that adds up to the combined total, then that's what each room group should pay. If the combined total is less, then I would give the discount to the room with the DC.

You could get a price for the holiday without the 3 year old and then you'd know exactly what they've cost then split the rest 3 ways

Maybe look for a holiday where your child is a real saving. Are you tied to this plan with Easyjet? Could you look into advertised kids go free deals like with TUI?

https://www.tui.co.uk/destinations/free-child-places

I haven't been presumptuous at all and my position has been throughout that I would split four ways unless it's clear the child space is cheaper.

We are going in school holidays anyway.

No we're not tied to Easy Jet so I will absolutely look at other options - thank you

What I don't want to do is go for something that's more expensive overall or for them just so I can get a free child's place but I should shop around.

I wasn"t calling you presumptuous. I think you've taken that sentence out of context - always a risk when I waffle! But my bigger point was about how you navigate to a solution that works for everyone .. . never mind.