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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu because I feel like I’m definitely not.

25 replies

PearlLion · 09/03/2025 14:33

My husband went on a night out with friends some months back. A couple of weeks ago photos appeared online from that night out and he has no wedding ring on. After dinner, we bit of a nosy at other pictures, he has no wedding ring on during another night out . And this time has his fault taken with his arm around a girl. When I asked him about it, he laughed. That’s all he does every time I mention it. Then says he was drunk. At first I was so angry but the more he laughs and doesn’t even care I think I’ve got to the point where I’ve given up. I’ve given up on us and I’ve given up on him. I don’t feel like I’m overreacting. I feel like if it wA the other way around he would be so annoyed but because iys not he wants me to drop the subject. He has another night out in a few weeks. He may not do it again, but why should I have to live with the worry that he will. Am I being unreasonable? Is this a silly reason to just walk away from it all over?

OP posts:
VintageFollie · 09/03/2025 14:40

He's taking you for a mug.

LovelyLeitrim · 09/03/2025 14:41

Speaks absolute volumes!

YANBU

Purplecatshopaholic · 09/03/2025 14:45

Do not put up with this shit. He’s at it; he also has zero respect for you. Ditch the twat, he’s not a nice person.

BookASpaceCadets · 09/03/2025 14:45

If he can’t/wont explain why he takes his wedding ring off on a night out, he can’t blame you for being suspicious.
Does he let you have access to his phone?
I would not be able to let this go.

LovelyLeitrim · 09/03/2025 14:49

Purplecatshopaholic · 09/03/2025 14:45

Do not put up with this shit. He’s at it; he also has zero respect for you. Ditch the twat, he’s not a nice person.

Agreed, he won’t explain why, because there is only one reason he does it………to give the impression that he’s single.

That’s the only reason, or am I missing something?

Justsayit123 · 09/03/2025 14:50

His bags would have been packed!

Original poster
PearlLion · 09/03/2025 14:51

I'm sure if he had anything to hide he wouldn’t keep it on his phone. I feel like by making me need to ask it just shows he already done the damage to our relationship. I just needed to know I wasn’t going mad and that I wasn’t acting out the blue which I would regret. Thank you.

OP posts:
LovelyLeitrim · 09/03/2025 14:55

Who the hell are the 3% saying YABU?

LovelyLeitrim · 09/03/2025 14:56

PearlLion · 09/03/2025 14:51

I'm sure if he had anything to hide he wouldn’t keep it on his phone. I feel like by making me need to ask it just shows he already done the damage to our relationship. I just needed to know I wasn’t going mad and that I wasn’t acting out the blue which I would regret. Thank you.

You’re perfectly justified and right! What you do moving forward is now up to you.

Good luck.

HelpMeGetThrough · 09/03/2025 15:01

When I asked him about it, he laughed. That’s all he does every time I mention it. Then says he was drunk. At first I was so angry but the more he laughs

Think I would be saying "Are you still going to be laughing when you receive the divorce papers?"

Shitmonger · 09/03/2025 15:02

Take yours off and leave it off.

Then divorce the twat and he can go on the pull as much as he likes. Pathetic prick.

outerspacepotato · 09/03/2025 15:05

Your husband is taking off his wedding ring during nights out so he can meet other women and pretend to them that he's single.

You're not being silly. He's at the least trying to cheat on you and lying to the women he's meeting.

Time to pull the plug.

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 09/03/2025 15:06

PearlLion · 09/03/2025 14:51

I'm sure if he had anything to hide he wouldn’t keep it on his phone. I feel like by making me need to ask it just shows he already done the damage to our relationship. I just needed to know I wasn’t going mad and that I wasn’t acting out the blue which I would regret. Thank you.

Next time you plan to go out make a big show of taking your ring off and laughing about it. What's good enough for the gander...

MeandBobbyMcGoo · 09/03/2025 15:08

Nothing good can come from this OP. I'm sorry. First PP has it - he's taking you for a mug.

AtrociousCircumstance · 09/03/2025 15:10

He’s cheating, or seeking to, and laughing in your face about it.

You know what to do.

Evaka · 09/03/2025 15:13

What a prick. Everything about this is really gross. He doesn't respect you at all and is being really cruel. How dare he laugh. Kick his pathetic arse out.

BarneyRonson · 09/03/2025 15:21

Does he know he’s married? It doesn’t sound like it. You might be his wife, but he isn’t your husband. Laughing instead of responding. Yuck.

happinessischocolate · 09/03/2025 15:29

PearlLion · 09/03/2025 14:51

I'm sure if he had anything to hide he wouldn’t keep it on his phone. I feel like by making me need to ask it just shows he already done the damage to our relationship. I just needed to know I wasn’t going mad and that I wasn’t acting out the blue which I would regret. Thank you.

He keeps it on his phone and he laughs about it because he doesn't respect you and has no fear of being caught out.

You sound like youve had enough, now you just need to do something about it.

sometimesmovingforwards · 09/03/2025 15:30

He’s not that into you, he’s not fussed if you stay or go.

Mischance · 09/03/2025 15:31

Why might it occur to you that you are being unreasonable? Of course you are not. And he is gaslighting you when he refuses to answer your question. There is no way in the world that I could live with a man like this.

MaybeIamJealous · 09/03/2025 15:42

While at uni I worked in one of the busiest bars in our city. You wouldn't believe the number of wedding rings we'd find on the floor come clean up time. I also, upon being chatted up one night, placed my hand in a guy's arse pocket, suspecting he was married, (he thought I was copping a feel and only too happy to let me!) and true enough, there was a wedding band. I would absolutely not put up with this from DH. I don't think your husband can give you a reasonable answer, so you need to ask yourself if you are willing to put up with it.

Swiftie1878 · 09/03/2025 16:03

There’s only one reason you take your wedding ring off when you go on a night out.
YANBU.

Endofyear · 09/03/2025 17:14

I don't wear a wedding ring and neither does DH. But if yours usually wears one and only takes it off on a night out, that's suspicious imo!

PinkiOcelot · 09/03/2025 17:21

I wouldn’t say that a man without a wedding ring = single. My DH has never worn one. However, as your H wears one and removes it for a night out certainly looks like that’s the impression he wants to give.

Thw laughing in your face about it would seriously drive me nuts. He obviously does it as a distraction strategy.

JMSA · 09/03/2025 17:43

Please tell me you don't have kids and that you can make a clean break Sad 🤞

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