To think life is a zero-sum game—one person’s happiness is another’s misfortune?

[ForBoldStork]

People like to say, “There’s enough happiness to go around,” but is that really true? In so many cases, one person’s gain comes at someone else’s loss. The job promotion you get? Someone else didn’t. The house you buy? Someone else was outbid. Even in relationships - one person finds love, another is left heartbroken.

It feels like for every success story, there’s someone on the other side who lost out. Maybe life isn’t as fair and abundant as we like to believe. Maybe it really is just a constant reshuffling of winners and losers.

AIBU to think that no matter how we try to sugarcoat it, life is just a zero-sum game?

You are pleased your cucumbers grow well in the garden.
Two singles hit it off.
A patient pulls through a difficult operation.
Neighbourhood kids get along well
There's a new anti-clustermine treaty.

I mean.. most things aren't organised competitively!

Happiness does not depend on promotion, romantic partnership of house purchase. We had promotion advertised at work now - nobody wants it. We are all happy where we are. So they will hire an external candidate which may well be the only candidate interested.
I missed out on a flat in December. I am now in the process of buying a house. Even after missing out on that flat, I did not feel particularly misfortunate.
I took the dog out this morning, the sun was shining and there was a real sense of spring in the air. I don't think anyone was disadvantaged by my happiness during that walk.
I broke up with my partner, he was not the greatest partner but we are now the most amazing of friends. Neither of us feel disadvantaged.
Happiness is the feeling. And, to some degree, a choice.
Maybe you need to stop overanalysing.

I don't agree, I think happiness is contagious. Not that much happiness is based on winning, look at the success of parkrun for example. A huge amount of extra happiness where none was before and very few people caring about their position.

Do something nice for someone, you'll see it makes both of you happy.

No one else bid on the house we bought

Totally disagree. There is (to a certain extent) a limited amount of material things to go round. But making friends, having loving relationships, spending time together, sharing fun activities and ideas and being kind, makes everyone happier.

@ForBoldStork does someone else's misery make your life better/happier? Because the opposite should also be applicable. Even when unconnected like your relationship example.

Does your best friend's marriage ending make you being single any better?

I like my cats.

Most people who see my cats like my cats.

Not sure how they make other people's life worse. (I don't think they shit in anyone's garden).

A friend of mine brings her dog to choir practice and it makes all of us happy.

I didn't get the A level grades I needed for my first choice university. The one I went to ended up defining my career because of two people I met there. Out of failure can come happiness.

I disagree.

Most of life is not a competition, so one person's gain is not another's loss.