Friends weekend away room allocation whilst managing IBS

[Laralou999]

We are committed to a weekend away with 5 other couples. It’s in a lovely house, that has 3 en-suites, 2 other bedrooms that share a bathroom, and a room downstairs that acts as a bedroom.

I have terrible IBS, I do everything I’m meant to do, no gluten, sugar dairy etc. do yoga, intermittent fasting etc etc. I’ve had it since I was around 12 and I’ve just accepted that’s my life now.

As the couple least close to the organisers, I’m assuming we are most likely to get either the downstairs room or one of the non en-suite rooms.

Im due to be on my period which means I have to use the bathroom A LOT. Combined with some social anxiety I can see it being an IBS nightmare.

I’d ideally like to ask for one of the en-suites, but they are far grander rooms so I feel like AIBU to ask?

In an ideal world there would be a tiny room with no windows and en suite and I’d be quite happy there!

Any ideas on how to handle it?

Are you close enough to a ask explain why and offer to pay extra? ( I'd assume they'd say no to the money but it's a gesture)

Have a quiet word with the organiser and tell her what you’ve said here. I’m sure she’ll be understanding and you have nothing to feel embarrassed about.

I would just openly say due to IBS could I please have an ensuite

Just be upfront and explain why. IBS is no fun... As a man, I can't begin to. Imagine having a period as well...

I would explain you have IBS and need to use the bathroom a lot, and for the comfort of yourself and the other guests could you please request an ensuite room, or exclusive use of one of the other bathrooms.

I'd also expect and offer to pay more.

I would just say that you suffer from ibs and would really appreciate the room with an en suite, but you do realise these are the nicer rooms, and would love to offer some extra cash / take them out to tea while you’re on holiday/ provide some extra wine as toilet compensation!

keep it simple and honest and I’m sure they will be fine…. I would definitely happily give up the better room if anyone approached me and offered like that.

on the flip side if someone said , I have ibs so I’m having the best room- I would think no chance 🤣
all about how you say it and be considerate of others too

Just ask and offer to pay more. If you don’t want to tell them you have IBS, just say you have a medical condition that means you need to use the bathroom a lot.

I would just say that you suffer from ibs and would really appreciate the room with an en suite, but you do realise these are the nicer rooms, and would love to offer some extra cash / take them out to tea while you’re on holiday/ provide some extra wine as toilet compensation!

This is the perfect way to put it.

I’d ask whoever got an ensuite. It’s not up to the organiser to allocate rooms 🤷‍♀️

This! No drama, just be up front.

I too have a disability that would require the need of an en-suite. I’d just say what’s happening with the en-suite rooms as I need one due to my condition, are we paying a bit more for those?

When we go away as a group of adults, it's first come, first served. You pick your own room, no allocations.
If that's not the case, I would ask for an ensuite up front.

I'd message now and explain otherwise you may get everyone trying to come up with a reason as to why they need to take priority for an en -suite, or first come first serve which makes it awkward.

Best to get room allocation sorted before you all get there.

To be fair, I think this is something you should have brought up sooner, when the trip was being arranged and the organiser was looking for suitable accommodation. If you'd said at that point that you'd need an ensuite because of IBS, but you'd be happy to pay a bit more, this difficulty could have been avoided. Having said that, you are where you are now, and I agree with PP's who've suggested to discuss with the organiser how rooms will be allocated. Perhaps there are others on the trip who also need an en-suite for similar reasons, and have alraedy made this clear.

As PPs have said, explain re IBS. It's going to be easier and far pleasanter for the other guests as well - try to use that angle.

(I used to work with an IBS sufferer and the smell! I know he couldn't help the gas, but ugh ... I'm sure you're more considerate)

If everyone is expecting to grab a room on arrival I'd just mention in the group chat if there is one if anyone minds you having one of the en suites as you have IBS but I'm sure everyone could come up with a reason why they need one

Presumably you said at the outset you need your own bathroom?

I also have IBS and it can flare up very suddenly. If a group holiday was being discussed I'd be saying from day dot I need my own ensuite whatever the cost and it's either that or count me out!

Exactly!

OP makes it sounds like she found out there were some en suites and thought
she should have one

Explain you have ibs and offer to pay more for one of the en suite rooms.

Yes exactly that, you say from the outset when things are in the planning stages. I’ve done it in the past (not about an en-suite, just about room requirements). Happy to pay more if no one else is fussed but being an adult means I can pick and choose what I take part in and I will pay to ensure I have the things I need.
We go away with a large amount of people every year and from the outset we all discuss what we need and everyone is responsible for ensuring the house suits their needs. From there on it’s first come first served (we will of course make sure if we’re first that we save the room with the biggest amount of floor space for those with travel cots, and the one with the quietest acoustics for the person we know needs to be able to retreat etc etc but we are all very close).

If you don't ask, you won't get. Simple.