Breakfast time/mornings are hell

[Burnoutbetty]

I have two dc, a 3 year old and a one year old, my 3 year old is diabetic and refuses to eat in the mornings unless I spoon feed him, is this normal? Also unless he is hand fed 90% of things he just won't eat, he will eat an ice lolly, sweets, crisps and fruit by himself but at actual meal times he won't feed himself, my 1 year old self feeds and has done from weaning basically, it's so hard and I dread mornings and meal times as like most people have a million and one things to do in the morning and sitting there hand feeding him for an hour (he's a very slow eater and will sit with food in his mouth for 5 mins at a time) is driving me mental. I find myself losing my temper and having to go stand outside raging before going back inside to resume. My husband helps so much at meal times when he's home but he works long hours and only gets Sunday off. It's really getting me down and I can't get out of the house early as he takes so long to feed and finish a meal. It sounds dramatic but by the time breakfast is over I just want to go back to bed and cry and I'm utterly exhausted.

If you put toast or a croissant down would be pick it up and eat it ?

Yes, to some extent, he will nibble and take tiny little bites and pull it to pieces, but if I come and hold it to his mouth he'll take a big bite and happily eat it

Does the diabetes complicate things ie. He has to eat?

If not I would make a big song and dance about picking a special plate and just present the plate and he eats or not.

Yes I give him insulin and if he doesn't eat the correct about of carbs his sugar can drop and go into a hypo

Well that sounds quite serious. What a nightmare.

Maybe you need to bribe.

Favoutite tv program? Sit with the channel changer and pause it everytime he’s no eating.

Given the medical issues I’d probably keep feeding him and hope he grows out of it- perhaps heap loads of praise on your youngest for feeding by themselves

I've tried every type of bribery in the book. He just will not feed himself unless he's ravenous. I'm having a really hard morning so far and I'm aided up.

I had a lovely day planned and it's all going to pot.
By the time we get ready to leave the house it's going to be too late to get to the activity I've been excited with taking them to.

Two plates? One for him - the other you use for spoon feeding but take it slowly and give him minimal attention, in the hope that he gets on with it himself when you’re not looking? Stepping away when you need to?

Sounds bloody exhausting.

I agree with this… needs must and his medical need for food and your sanity is most important

My DD is on a high calorie diet due to low growth and pausing tv everytime she doesn’t eat has honestly helped

Also how does he go with smoothies on the go? Will that help?

I do this, hoping he will hear and take it upon himself to also be "such a clever boy" he literally does not care.

Sounds really frustrating but given his medical needs, I would maybe just accept that breakfast will mean spoon feeding. He might genuinely not be hungry at that time but you know he needs to eat so accept that for that meal, you’ll spoon feed.

Stop giving him sweets and crisps.

Don't create the impression that if he holds out for long enough he'll get different food.

That's what I did this morning, unless I hold it to his mouth he isn't interested. It is soooo exhausting, I've had a long hard cry a moment ago, I just don't know how to deal with it, he's always been like this

What would happen if someone else was giving him breakfast - relative or babysitter?
ie is any of it Mum-specific behaviour or totally food-specific?

My friend had a child with medical issues who would barely eat. Similar to your situation. She said that having the tv/ipad on for meals actually helped. Whilst I personally find it the opposite for my kids because they get too distracted to eat, it meant she could spoon the food in and her DD would just eat it without much fuss. (Also she’s much older now and doesn’t have this problem anymore - hopefully that gives you hope that it is a phase!)

could you make breakfast something that doesn’t need much chewing like weetabix or porridge if you have to spoon feed it anyway? Maybe that would slide down faster

Surely you need to adjust the fast insulin amount knowing that he won't eat so much then?
What are his fasting levels? Is he near hypo in a morning so needs to eat? My DS7 is T1D and he doesn't always eat in a morning. At weekends it can be around 10am before he eats, but this is fine as his basal levels don't drop him below 100 usually.

Have you spoken to his consultant or the paediatric diabetes nurse specialist? I'm sure the nurses can put you in contact with dieticians and maybe a play specialist to help with his eating habits and routine.

Injections or insulin pump ?

I think you need to accept that this is where he is right now and go with it. It’s amazing the difference conscious acceptance makes, as it can really reduce the frustration and battle.

Start the routine earlier, feed him and get it over and done with.

He absolutely will love on at some point but making it a battle won’t help and will just get you more and more frustrated.

Are you getting any support for you and him in respect of his diagnosis OP? I can well believe support is thin on the ground these days with the NHS sadly but I'm thinking e.g.emotional/psychological support for you both, dietitician, diabetes nurse etc? If you take the diabetes out of the equation I sympathise to a point in that my eldest in particular meals can be utterly draining, but she's 6 now and it's not as bad as it was at 3. That being said it's just a completely different kettle of fish with your little one being diabetic and I think you need specialist support. Have you spoken to your health visitor about the struggles?

At this age kids tend to find the things that get them the most attention and reaction when they have a younger sibling. My 3 year old used to run off in public knowing it was the most stressful thing for me to manage with a baby and it got her the biggest reaction.

I expect he knows he has to eat and it’s really stressing you. Just give him the attention and carry on spoon feeding him. Don’t stress about what’s “normal”, he will grow out of it when your younger one needs less of your attention.

How about just something really easy to eat in the mornings - smoothie, yoghurt and fruit puree, readybrek - something quite quick to spoonfeed that he doesn't have to chew?

The fun thing happens after he finishes eating (eg the telly gets turned on). If there’s not enough time get up earlier. I know that sounds simplistic but I have had similarly time consuming disability related stuff that screwed the mornings and it was better once I accepted an earlier start than I wanted.

My three and one year old sound just like yours without the added complication of diabetes. I give Greek yoghurt with fruit to my three year old for breakfast as it’s the only thing she doesn’t take an age to eat. I let her add her yogurt and fruit to her bowl for a bit of control, I don’t know if this is an option for you? But mostly I feel your pain, mornings are always stressful getting out the house on time.

Does he go to nursery? If so what's he like eating there? If he doesn't go, is it worth sending him 3 sessions a week....to give you a break and also he may progress with eating as copying peers?