To feel so low when I should be happy?

[Timetobreathe]

I finally got divorced from a vile abusive man. It took ages because he argued every step. It ended up in court several times. It’s been a huge drain on time and finances and I’m exhausted.

I am relieved that I can finally move forward and should be happy, but 6 months later and I feel broken.

he has taken so much from me. The marriage was bad and the divorce was worse. He caused so many problems.

I feel old, skint and that my career had flatlined because I’ve spent so much energy fighting this awful man and trying to stop him damaging our 2 DC. ( they are fine)

How do I stop feeling like this?

You give yourself time to recover. This sounds incredibly draining and hard- I wouldn’t be expecting you to celebrate.

Thanks @OnlyFoolsnMothers I’m feeling that after 6 months, I should be feeling better.

especially since this is someone I have no feelings for

Start now.

Wrap up warm it's lovely here in west midlands go walk for 30 minutes.

plan something nice and nutritious for the week-end food.

Ring up your girlfriends and get out for lunch/brunch/dinner/drinks/coffee etc etc

I'm 2.5 years out from a vile divorce. 6 months is nothing to recover!

I felt very frustrated because I wanted a timeline of by x date I will feel better. Recovery is not linear. Some days you will feel fine. Others you will be triggered by something which seems minor.

You're doing incredibly well to have got to this stage. I'd say focus on short term goals and the long term sorts itself out.

It takes time to recover. You're nervous system has been shot, you've been on flight/fight etc for so long.
Look into ways to heal your nervous system such as walks in nature, meditation, meeting up with friends, journalling, a soothing hobby.
Being kind and gentle with yourself.

You are probably still exhausted (doesn't help with these awful viruses going round and it has been a long winter).
Takes time to build a new future

Would it help to start making plans? Short term/ long term- just to help reenforce that you’re in the driving seat of your life now?

I am two years out of an abusive marriage.

I still feel wobbly. Fragile. It takes a long time to recover.

Some days are great though and I hope they become my norm.

It takes a lot of time, unfortunately. I'm 5 years past and I still have bad moments about the whole thing. It will get better, I promise.

Be patient with yourself, spring is coming, try and get out for a regular walk. Good luck op.

Thankyou for all your replies.

I went out for a run in the sunshine and it has made me feel a bit better.

it’s reassuring to hear that people still have bad days. It feels like three steps forward, two back at the moment.

I will take the advice, and be kind to myself.

Perhaps therapy would be beneficial to help you process what happened?

I might try that. Though I think overall I’ve processed it, it just seems that I can’t shake off this depression. Peri menopause doesn’t help, but think it’s half the story

I'm sorry to hear that. 6 months is nothing and there are no " shoulds" in recovery
You were in a sense of heightened anxiety and you're now experiencing a new normal
A weight has been lifted from your shoulders physically but your mind needs time to process the trauma
It's the same with bereavement and divorce.
Be kind to yourself, there is no rush.
Well done for getting out