Grandparents in baby's face

[GrumpyBallz889]

Just had my family visit us, we have a 6 month old. I was moaning to a friend that my parents were constantly in the baby's face and it pissed me off.

Constantly overstimulatating him, talking in a loud high pitch voice 2 inches from his face. I kept having to take baby away to a different room to feed or calm down as they were so over the top. My friend said her in laws do the same!!! Why???? Why do people do it? Is it a generational thing or are just my parents and my friend's in laws randomly equally batshit?

And how do you deal with? I did tell my mum to pleas be a bit more quiet etc but she just didn't "get" it.

Yes, I'm grumpy and unreasonable. But I'm the one that has to deal with the consequences of an overstimulated, overtired baby who as a result sleeps like shit during these visits.

I used to find it irritating if the GPs were very overexcited but they didn't see the DC very often and it would only take a day or two for us all to get back on track once they had gone. They loved the DC and the DC loved them back which is the main thing after all. It's good for DC to have different inputs and it's good for us DPs to be reminded that there isn't only one way of doing things.

Yes, how inconsiderate of your parents to show an interest in and play with their grandchild!

What about people who make stupid noises at babies as if they're trying to attract a duck or animal or something? You know what i mean? So annoying

Unfortunately I think it's unreasonable to police how people interact with your baby (obviously excluding people being cruel or etc). Babies also typically like high pitched voices 🤷 Also what would you rather they do? Ignore baby? To to baby like they'd talk to an adult?

@GrumpyBallz889 what makes you think he’s overstimulated? Is he not just entertained? Basically… people can’t read minds, and if you haven’t clearly communicated your concerns, then you can’t expect people just to ‘know’. This has taken me years to learn. If you very clearly and politely express yourself and still don't see results, then you have grounds for complaint but unfortunately until then, you have to put up with it because people aren’t psychic and don’t know your baby like you do.

I'm dealing with the exact same thing at the moment. Every Sunday evening for the past month my 9 month old has been an overtired overstimulated mess refusing to nap, screaming all through dinner time, refusing to eat any food, then struggling to go to sleep at bed time and waking up at 5 am the next morning.

I've told my parents this three weeks in a row and nothing has changed. It's fucking exhausting. This week I told them that's it, visiting hours are limited to 12-4. They can't come in the morning because she will be napping and they have to be gone by 4 so she can unwind a bit in time to have a nap before dinner. Usually my mum is here all morning and my Dad is here all afternoon.

They're both pissed off I'm restricting their time with baby but quite frankly, after the shitshow that is Sunday evenings these past few weeks, I don't care. It doesn't benefit baby to end up in that state even if she enjoyed playing for 6 before hand and I start dreading Sunday from wednesday and counting down. So it's not happening anymore.

It’s interesting. We are supposed to be responsive to babies, to take our cue from them, to practice the turn taking that grows into conversation.

So many people seem to have lost that sensitivity in favour of being the centre of attention, talking loudly regardless of anyone else, just filling the space.

Its a normal natural interaction for people to babble and gaga at babies, its what they respond to, engage with and are entertained by, so yes calling babies like you would a duck or a cat or a dog thats what you do, with a high pitched voice, you get close to them so they feel comfortable.

I think there is a technical term someone coined for it.

Alternatively OP you can have some nice calm discussions with baby about the stock exchange or the weather and not engage in any cuddles or closeness. Im sure baby would like that.

I mean, he’s six months, not six weeks. My son would have been highly entertained at that age and I’d have taken the opportunity to go and get something done or sit with a cup of tea 🤷🏻‍♀️

How often are these interactions taking place?

Is the baby distressed when they do it? If not, then it's fine.
You can't tiptoe around the baby all the time. They need exposure to diverse stimuli, that's how they develop and build tolerance. You can't just leave them in a darkened room and talk in whisper all the time. That's not doing them any favours in the long run.

Is baby upset while they're doing it? If not, I'd let it be and be grateful they want to interact and get involved. Are you the one who's upset because you're having to hand over control of baby (for a very short time in a whole week)? I'd try and share baby and cope with the change in routine - and I'd be hurt if you told me to cut my visits short because I'm too loud with my darling GC!

Equally though baby may be responding to your agitation if not becoming distressed at the time of interaction?
Your child will rely on you to respond calmly and give them tools to respond and handle "difficult" situations.
Is there a favourite song that baby enjoys that GP could take a part in? Babies are nore robust than we give them credit for. Its reasonable to reduce overstimulation nearer to bedtime. Try to see the positives though.