Feel so down about house move

[Sweetlove23]

I moved house today and have sat there and cried and thought about when I can sell it.

Myself and ex split and needed to sell and buy quickly as the situation wasn’t great. My options with my budget were limited, I have bought a really small two bed and have come from a large 3 bed.

I was excited about moving and starting a new life until I got there today and I feel boxed in and miss my old house so much. The kitchen is so small, my daughter won’t be able to help me with cooking like she loves to do, there’s no storage really, no idea where I will put everything, I did a big clear out before and I just feel my daughter (5) is going to hate living here.

throw on top, the house I sold was my childhood home and I feel like my safety net has gone. It was in the family for 30 years.

i just feel like I’m never going to feel at home here and it makes me sad.

I just needed to get that out so thanks to whoever reads this.

YANBU OP - it must be really tough but one day you’ll look back and be glad you’re not in a relationship where one person isn’t happy,
It’ll take a while to get used to but you can make it home and make it cosy for you and your daughter. Maybe have another clear out and be brutal about what you really need as the tidier it is the more relaxed you can be there.
things like dressers and sideboards and bookcases can help display things and make the room look more homely too. Get some lamps and candles and cushions and make it yours - colours you like now you don’t have to consider someone else.

Well, you’re not wrong to feel how you feel, but you are going to have to make the most of it.

You’ll feel better after you’ve unpacked and sorted out all your stuff and settled in.

You’re in a good position, youve been able to buy again and you can make a home for the two of you.

Take your time, we had to move out of the family home into a smaller house, my bed only just fitted the room, it’s was smaller and colder. But we loved that house, and it was a fun filled house, we eventually moved, but I look back on that house with such gratefulness and happiness.

give it time.

It always feels odd when you move from a home you love and the new house feels strange and unfamiliar. It will be fine I promise. It will feel like home in no time at all.

It's no surprise you're feeling sad but try to focus on the positives. You've got a new home for a fresh start. Less size means less cleaning, less heating, and you'll stick to decluttering too.

Try to look at it from the point of view that this house is now your sanctuary, away from bad feeling from your ex. This is now a safe space for your and your daughter. You’ve just moved in, give it time. You can furnish it and make it exactly what you want. And your daughter will absolutely still be able to help in the kitchen, kids always find a way when they want to help with cooking!

We are moving soon from our very long term rental to a much smaller house that is all we can afford to buy and I am anticipating feeling very much like you do op, though without your added sadness of it being your family home. I keep reminding myself of all the times I have been on holiday and hated my apartment on sight and then by about day 3 it has become home and is absolutely fine. Hoping that is how it pans out for us both!

It must be such a tough situation.

I don't know if this is any help but when I bought my flat, when I first got the keys and went there I felt a bit deflated and like it was shitter than I remembered. I posted about it on Facebook and loads and loads of people replied they'd felt the same and it's normal. One friend even said it's called "post-decision dissonance" or something.

I ended up loving that flat.

Aw OP, that sounds tough. I remember the day I moved into my own house following divorce, it was smaller, in a 'worse' area and I cried wondering what the hell I'd done. But...I ended up loving my new house once I settled in. It was MINE and no one else's and I slowly adjusted to a new life and didn't look back. I especially loved buying new paint, furniture, ornaments and knowing that I had no one else to please but myself and didn't have to discuss or negotiate with anyone else.
I also had a smaller kitchen but me and my daughter still baked and enjoyed spending time together.
You'll get there and you've got this. Good luck! 🍀

It’s normal.
I moved house and hated it. I was looking for ways to move and crying on/off for the first couple of weeks because I felt so homesick. Everyone thought I was crazy as I was so lucky to have this house but I struggled to be here, especially after visitors had left.

It’s a year later and I love my home now but it still hasn’t sunk in that it’s mine.

Give it time and if you don’t like it down the line you can move again.

I moved this week too and feel the same. However I have moved a lot over last 20 years and recognise that I always feel depressed and overwhelmed. Focus on unpacking what you can and looking into some storage solutions. It will absolutely be fine in a month.

@Sweetlove23 give it time. I'm 2 years in, same situation. Still struggling tbh but then there's more ahead. Don't give up. Stick with it. At least you have freedoms xx

Any house or flat can be made homely, cosy and welcoming, honestly the size doesn’t make a house any less ‘nice’ in fact smaller houses can often feel so much more homely, it’s what you do with the space and the atmosphere you create with your interior choices that make it a lovely home, freshly painted walls, some nice cushions and throws, art on the wall, nice scented candles and table lamps for ambiance will all help, try and put a positive spin on the lovely home you can create for you and your daughter that is all yours, when you move house the new place can look a bit depressing, empty and stripped of personality, you just need to make it your own and then hopefully you will begin to feel more settled.

Thank you everyone. I hope I do grow to like it. I’m just very homesick right now.

I think it's totally understandable to feel upset and homesick. Give yourself some time.

These are really normal feelings when moving house. Even people who move to ‘better’ houses out of choice struggle with sadness and the sense of home sickness.

I’m sure it will feel like home when you start to put your stamp on it, OP. And of course your daughter can still help you cook, you just have to have some changes in how she helps.

Your daughter is 5, she will pick up on your feelings about the house, she is very unlikely to hate living there if you are positive about it!
Start looking around for nooks and crannies that can be made into storage, any awkward corners etc that can be boxed in and can be made into cupboard space.
Sit and flick through Pinterest with your daughter, how would she like her room decorated? Make mood boards together and start working towards her dream bedroom....then do the same for your room!
It will take time to feel like it's 'yours' but try and see the exciting possibilities.

So sorry OP. Letting your family home go is ahuge loss. Gradually this will become home but it may take a while. Find a way to let your daughter help cook , even a small set of steps to stand on by a worktop could do it. And be creative about storage- Mumsnetters will have some ideas.