Working in a PRU..any advice on getting the kids to respect me?

[Lemur98]

These kids have drug convictions, ASBOs etc. Before the age of 16. They are not afraid of teachers, I'm not saying they're bad kids or that I dislike them, but they are here for a reason.
If you try to discipline them they will not hesitate to hurl a barrage of abuse and swear words and go and smash something up, I've just tried a gentle approach.
I will tell them I need them to do x work, and for some just writing 2 sentences is a massive achievement.
I'm really finding it tough. I start each day afresh, ask about their weekend etc. But I'm careful not to ask about family or home life. The majority of them have very troubled lives and it seems that many are sexually active under the age of 15 even.

I would say they respect our headteacher a bit more who is like a matriarch figure. Some lessons are OK, some if I even ask them to write the title or date they will tell me to shut the fuck up and laugh at me.

Any suggestions? Some staff have a very bantery relationship with the pupils but I'm just not really like that as a person. I am friendly with them but don't talk to them like we're best mates. However with the lack of respect not a lot of progress is made in some lessons. Some pupils do work hard and are making progress but there are those who do nothing.
Any advice/suggestions? I am a qualified teacher but this is my first time in a PRU.

Not all of those things all the time by the way! But sometimes all

Think about expectations. If a pupil is only likely to write 2 lines maybe don’t insist on date and title?
I once supported a pupil who school said was refusing to write. School wanted advice. She wrote a full side of A4 for me about Pokemon. Her special interest.
Some may prefer typing on a laptop, recording something etc. Look for and tap into interests.
I know there will be some non negotiables.
You might be better aiming for trust rather than respect.

Warmth, humour and very clear boundaries worked for me. They respected me and liked me. Unfortunately they used to go to the local supermarket to "buy" me treats, but the vast number of chocolate bars in their pockets had clearly been stolen! I met up with one of my boys a few years later at a funeral and he was running his own business successfully. He was so grateful for my input into his education. Turned out he was a cousin of my DH. I'm very glad that I worked in a PRU.

It takes a tough person to be abused all day and not take it personally. You need thick skin and resilience to do a job like that.

Agreed.

This. Thank you. I used to do a lot of volunteer work with kids at risk of exclusion and some of the comments on this thread are really sheltered and unkind.

Agree. Safety, consistency and care.

Be calmly consistent, fair, supportive and understanding.
Make sure each person feels noticed and valued and loved.

https://panspandasuk.org/support-resources/for-educational-professionals/

Shouldn't you be getting training and advice within the setting? It's lovely that people on MN are supportive and sharing ideas, but it's also a bit disturbing that some of our most vulnerable children are in a tricky setting without clear support processes, training, mentoring etc.

Take an interest in them. Ask them about their lives and they'll warm to you and, eventually, behave for you because they like and trust you.

What made you want to work in a PRU? Hats off to you, I’ve been teaching 20 years and you couldn’t pay me enough to work in one of these. You’ve had a lot of good advice above, so if you’re passionate about teaching in this kind of setting then stick it out. But to be honest I’d probably look for something else.

https://panspandasuk.org/events/

There's free webinars for education professionals. Worth being aware that some of the behaviours seen in school, PRU etc is infection driven and can be addressed.

For me it was about building the relationship first. They've been let down by many things before they get to you. They don't trust.

Don't try to be their best friend. They want an authority figure that makes them feel safe. But always be kind and consistent
Use the disciplinary system appropriately and fairly

Humour is your weapon. They will shout and swear at you. Have a witty comeback

Let them see "you" as a person
I remember having a massive turnaround with one pupil when I asked his advice about my teenage son once they see you care they don't want to disappoint you
please don't think this is easy. It's exhausting and at times dangerous