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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that everyone should be able to spell a simple, well-known name?

21 replies

GustyFinknottle · 07/03/2025 15:08

I've been trying to sort out a situation for an older neighbour who had some work done on her car by a local garage. When she went to collect it there was a power cut and they couldn't print out her invoice and the guarantee, but they promised to email it to her. She has a very simple email address and it includes her first name, Mary.

After a few days with no sign of her invoice or receipt from them she called and was told that the email had been sent the day after she picked up her car. She searched, couldn't find it and asked them to send it again. On each occasion she spelled out her email address letter by letter and the person on the other end of the phone told her the address was correct. After making the third call and being told she'd been sent it and yes, the address was correct, she came to me to ask for advice. She was beginning to wonder if she'd been scammed: maybe they hadn't done any of the work they were supposed to do and had just billed her and were trying to avoid giving her any paperwork?

Today I double-checked her email at her request (she's pretty internet savvy) and there was no record of them having contacted her. As I was planning to go to the supermarket in that direction I took her to the garage (quite a large set-up) and stood with her while she explained the problem yet again. They looked at their system and smirked a bit and said they'd resent it to her three times. There was an older man who wasn't au fait with their invoicing system, and two younger guys, and they really weren't taking her seriously. After a while I intervened and checked with them that they'd got the email address correct. Yes, they said. I spelled it out letter by letter. Yes, they said. I said I'd checked and there was no sign of it. 'She must have deleted it,' they said. I asked them to send it again, right now, so we could open it on her phone. They did. Nada.

I asked to see the screen. Her name is Mary and she and I both pronounce it in the standard way — not Scots Mari or Welsh Mair or anything else. They'd spelled it Marri and when we'd both said M for Mother, A for Alpha, R for Romeo, Y for Yankee they'd said yes, that's what we've got down.

I'm gobsmacked. I can't help wondering whether they can be any good at what they do if they can't spell a well-known, simple name correctly. The garage is recommended by the RAC and is apparently assessed each year. Among the criteria applied, it's supposed to offer excellent customer service — yet they were clearly ageist and they spoke down to Mary as if she was an idiot. Would you expect anyone to be able to spell Mary and would you complain to the RAC about this situation?

Right now I'm confident and bolshy enough to deal with stuff like this, but it was a clear demonstration of ageist assumptions and frankly, it scares me. It won't be many years before I'm in Mary's shoes, as good as being called an idiot by a man who can't spell Mary.

OP posts:
SinnerBoy · 07/03/2025 15:10

Clucking bell! They're weapons grade morons.

AutumnFroglets · 07/03/2025 15:18

I hope they were suitably embarrassed and apologetic after you pointed it out?

If they weren't then definitely complain to both the RAC and the owner regarding their lack of care. What else aren't they caring about to get right... the brakes? The power steering fluid?

EDIT - actually didn't any of their emails bounce back as not sent? If not then a total stranger has Mary's invoice and guarantee - did it also contain her banking information etc?

GustyFinknottle · 07/03/2025 15:18

Oh — so not me being unreasonable then? I mean, I know people who are good at practical things like changing brake pads and oil filters aren't necessarily the best spellers in the world, but for the three of them to stand there and swear they'd spelled Mary correctly like that...

OP posts:
Averageper100 · 07/03/2025 15:19

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

GustyFinknottle · 07/03/2025 15:20

AutumnFroglets · 07/03/2025 15:18

I hope they were suitably embarrassed and apologetic after you pointed it out?

If they weren't then definitely complain to both the RAC and the owner regarding their lack of care. What else aren't they caring about to get right... the brakes? The power steering fluid?

EDIT - actually didn't any of their emails bounce back as not sent? If not then a total stranger has Mary's invoice and guarantee - did it also contain her banking information etc?

Edited

No. Just 'Oh, not sure how that happened'. Mary said 'But I spelt it out three times for you' and the seemed a bit embarrassed — but they're men, so they're never going to go 'OMG, I'm so sorry, we're all idiots' are they?

OP posts:
GustyFinknottle · 07/03/2025 15:21

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Why my expense?

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Averageper100 · 07/03/2025 15:22

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AutumnFroglets · 07/03/2025 15:23

I edited my post. Didn't the system bounce the emails back?
If not, did any identifying details get sent to another person?

Averageper100 · 07/03/2025 15:24

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AutumnFroglets · 07/03/2025 15:25

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Now it's you being silly. Try reading the OPs posts properly. The name was spelt out.

SpringIsSpringing25 · 07/03/2025 15:25

SinnerBoy · 07/03/2025 15:10

Clucking bell! They're weapons grade morons.

Yep!!

and unpleasant with it!!

I wouldn't be going back that's for sure

onwardsup4 · 07/03/2025 15:27

GustyFinknottle · 07/03/2025 15:18

Oh — so not me being unreasonable then? I mean, I know people who are good at practical things like changing brake pads and oil filters aren't necessarily the best spellers in the world, but for the three of them to stand there and swear they'd spelled Mary correctly like that...

No you're not, bloody arrogant morons. Lucky she had you to help her out with it

GustyFinknottle · 07/03/2025 15:29

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Oh well, in that case I'm definitely going to complain to the RAC and if I was the RAC I'd want to know.

OP posts:
Averageper100 · 07/03/2025 15:31

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GustyFinknottle · 07/03/2025 15:37

AutumnFroglets · 07/03/2025 15:23

I edited my post. Didn't the system bounce the emails back?
If not, did any identifying details get sent to another person?

No idea. Don't think any of them would have realised what a bounced email means.

OP posts:
NetballHoop · 07/03/2025 15:38

Are they native English speakers? I and y can be confusing for some non native speakers.

GustyFinknottle · 07/03/2025 15:41

Yes, all English first language. Quite chatty but not very comfortable with a computer and keyboard — the older man was the worst, the younger ones had to guide him through how to find the email. But all of them stood there squinting at the screen swearing that MARRI tallied with MARY.

OP posts:
purplecorkheart · 07/03/2025 15:42

I suspect they were saving face and that they had sent the receipts to the wrong address and did not want to say because of GDPR.

GustyFinknottle · 07/03/2025 15:47

Ah. I might send an email to the address they were using to see if it bounces back or if someone out there has it registered. I'm probably becoming unreasonable at this point — but hell, if the people on the front desk, in charge of the paperwork, can't spell Mary how on earth do they cope with more complex names?

OP posts:
niadainud · 07/03/2025 15:53

Pathetic. Reminds me of the time I was giving an address to my GP surgery and had to spell out the six-letter town about eight hundred times before they finally got it right (and then told me they couldn't send my prescription there anyway...).

SoddingSoda · 07/03/2025 15:58

My brother is quite an educated bloke. He spelt our Grandmother’s name as Merry.

Tbh she was Irish and pronounced it more like Merry than Mary but WTF?! 😂

If it’s all sorted at the garage be hopeful they’re better at fixing cars than spelling.

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