Do you place conditions on giving pocket money?

[SpottyDottyD]

DH and I take it in turns to give DS (13) pocket money. On my week DS has conditions like do chores, be polite and respectful, no rudeness or name calling/swearing or disrespectful behaviour. For bad behaviour I take money off such as £1 then at the end of the week he gets whatever is left. DH just gives him the full amount no matter what his behaviour has been like.

I pin his money in a clear bag and take away when he’s rude (he can be very disrespectful) he can also be helpful and I encourage him to help cook and do chores. DH takes the attitude that he’s useless and there’s no point in asking him/he can’t do anything for himself etc.

Do you just give out pocket money or are there conditions attached? Obviously DH and I really should be on the same page.

No,
Pocket money is / was not related to anything else.

Everyone who lives in the house is expected to contribute in an age appropriate way.

Everyone is expected to respect everyone else.

We have it that they receive a 'base' amount that they get regardless but they can earn more by helping out around the house

Can I ask

In this case
If someone refuses to contribute/do what they should be doing, how do you get them to do it then? Or what kind of consequence do you give for bad behaviour/ disrespect?

We give set amounts of money for completing various chores. (Primary aged children)
As the children get older, I can see us moving towards a base amount which can be increased by completing chores.
I want them to understand that it takes time to earn money and be more appreciative.

When i gave pocket money it had no conditions

they were expected to clean their bedrooms and the ‘playroom’, they didn’t have any other chores

Our 4.8 year old grandson earns pocket money by doing jobs.

Same as you, OP.

Starts the month with a set amount and it reduces depending on behaviour/chore completion.

I wouldn’t be handing money over to someone who’s acted the arse all month, refused to pull their (age appropriate) weight etc.

When dS2 was 2 i sent him to his bedroom with a full tin of mr sheen and a cloth, i said id be up in a sec

i got distracted by a visitor and when i got to his bedroom he’d emptied the entire tin on to his window
😀

Same as Carpet - pocket money is paid as standard. I expected DD to pull her weight in an age appropriate way. Shit employees still get paid at the end of the month, they have a consequence in a different way. Failure to put her washing on had the natural consequence of no clean clothes. Refusal to do what had been asked would result in no WiFi. And so on as needed.

Pocket money was contingent upon them completing core responsibilities- tidy their rooms, some set chores, etc. not contingent upon behaviour as we had other mechanisms for that- you don’t get a reward for being polite,but you may get a punishment for rudeness. Pocket money is an all or nothing affair here - you get it or you don’t, so no ‘docking’ if they do their chores but don’t tidy their rooms. they can earn extra for doing chores outside the norm, but it is always negotiated up front

No

They can make their own mistakes i.e.v bucks