Well, I'm unapologetic that I consider my 8yo dd both strong and determined (if not always resilient) and, what's more, I have learned so much from her as a result. The way NT people take things for granted - I've had to think like her and have a much better understanding of, and relationship with, her as a result.
On World Book Day 2 years ago, I was pretending that taking your child to the park in her Harry Potter Onesie was entirely normal. As it was WBD, we fitted in. But in truth, it was the first day in several weeks that I'd managed to get out of the house with her. She was in the midst of school avoidance. She wasn't even able to get dressed, such was the level of shutdown. Some mornings she lay in bed naked, not able to even come down for breakfast. She gave up once loved activities, wasn't able to attend her friends' parties. She was just 6, bless her.
I can't tell you how far she's come and how proud I am of her. We were late for school today due to clothing related issues (numerous and complex in their nature). She slammed her hands on her desk repeatedly and once would have turned that on me. But we've both learned. I retreated calmly, gave her time. We worked together when she was calm, she spoke and I listened, understood. We spoke about reasonable adjustments and 'red lines' (I.e. what she absolutely could not/ would not be able to do, and likewise what I could not/ would not do). 15 minutes later she was dressed, with some adjustments, and happy and ready to go. The concepts of teamwork, negotiation and problem solving do not come easily to her. She's come such a long way and she has my heart and soul.
I do wish that life was not so difficult for her, of course I do. Her difficulites break my heart on an almost daily basis. But my word, she's the most determined individual I think I've ever met. She's relentless, and I hugely admire that in her.