A pro disabled thread - telling stories of strength

[Tapofthemorning]

Where people don't think everyone is "gaming the system". But a kind place, where people can show their support and acknowledge being disabled - invisible or visible, mental or physical - is tremendously challenging. Where stories of resilience and strength will be told. And trolls ignored. ❤

This is a really brilliant, positive idea. Thank you x

I'm disabled but not particularly resilient or strong. I'm not an 'inspiration' I'm just a normal, boring average person with a disability.

Thanks @Tapofthemorning, it's a great idea - I'm disabled through chronic illnesses & have mostly been in a state of denial for many years.
Like others, I'm not an Olympian or some sort of hero, I'm just a normal woman who lost her career & much of her life to disability. I just do what I can (plus a bit more which screws me up for a while but makes me feel less of a failure!)
Hugs to all of you x

Exactly this.

I am on the highest rates of PIP long term / ongoing. I have Addisons, lupus, Sjogrens, pituitary issues, all sorts. I’m 44 and a Mum to two dc, one has complex needs. I’m just trying to live my life as best I can with the best quality of life I can.

Disability can happen to anyone. Until I was 27 I was in a highly paid career, working full time, living a very successful and busy life.

Hello @Pigeonqueen - another Addy / hypopit here! Happy to chat if you want; have you seen the FB groups for us AI folk?
Hope you're able to have a peaceful night's sleep tonight.

Hi, yes I’m on them 😁, always on them. I always try and help and advise where I can; especially people who are newly diagnosed or awaiting diagnosis. It can be a very isolating thing to have, can’t it.

Hope you sleep well too.

I don't have a disability, but I just want to show my solidarity. The way the government and the media talk about and treat disabled people, using them as scapegoats to explain austerity economics, is disgusting. The way others on here talk about people with disabilities, especially those on benefits, is disgusting.

I'm SO sorry you have to read and hear such vile crap. You do not deserve it. Disabled people deserve to have a good quality of life and to have nice things, as does every other human on the planet. Please know not everyone thinks the crap the media spouts.

I'm a mental health nurse (and have had significant mental health problems in the past), so I understand the impact of disability as much as I can without having experienced it myself. Fuck the government and fuck people who judge you from a place of absolute privilege having never experienced disability themselves.

This. I am disabled and neither resilient or strong. I don't think this rhetoric that disabled people have to be resilient and strong is particularly helpful. A thread that is supportive and understanding of the challenges disabled people face would be great though.

I have a t shirt by Jennifer smells (can't find her on insta at the moment) that says uninspiring disabled person.

Because jfc I'm sick of people calling me (a wheelchair user with AuDHD and a host of things wrong) inspirational or a hero or whatever.

And on the other hand, being spoken to or about in the context of expecting too many changes around me like I'm the centre of the universe essentially.

I can't stand sticking out and I do so, really blatantly. If I could not have to stand out it would be great. One of the times I'm standing out and being watched (which I can't cope with at all) is when trying to getting in and out of buildings, and on/ off public transport.

So yeah, wishing people could at least just do the little easy things like unlocking the second double door so a wheelchair user can open it themselves instead of having to bang on a door or shout for someone, would be grand.

Because it's never just that one thing. It can be lots of very little bit disabling things in just one day. I'm sick of of the crippling anxiety I have over leaving the house.

I am not a second class citizen.

The thought behind this was sweet, but imo a huge part of the problem with society is that lots of people vilify people for being disabled, and create a narrative that they're useless scroungers who need to get on with it. But on the flip side there's this other narrative that disabled people are resilient, patient, strong beings who can do absolutely no wrong, and should be praised just for existing.

One narrative has unrealistic expectations of disabled people (the expectation being stop being disabled)

But your narrative is actually quite infantilising. You need to unpack why you see disabled people as inspirational for just... Living.

I'm not the spokesperson for disabled people BUT I'm neurodivergent with chronic illnesses, I have a disabled child and I have a disabled husband. They're not inspirational they just need a few adjustments sometimes.

Ah my people!

I’m ‘newly disabled’ with a child with complex needs. I’ve been diagnosed this year with ADHD and am currently undergoing investigations for POTS and CFS. My son has ASD/ADHD/FASD/Dyspraxia and attachment disorder. I’d gladly swap the £560 a month in DLA for an easier life for my child.

Hello, I have POTS, EDS and ADHD
My daughter has ASD, ADHD, learning disability, sensory processing disorder and a language disorder
I know exactly how you feel about wishing you could swap the DLA for a child that didn't have to struggle 💔

I'm the most uninspiring disabled person around! Wheelchair user or walking sticks depending on how I'm doing on any given day so I definitely 'stick out'. I'm not heroic, brave, determined or an inspiration to anyone....I'm just a rather knackered 47 Yr old single Mum navigating bringing up a teenager whilst having a knackered body. Like everyone else on this planet I can be a total twat some days..cos I'm human, not some sainted entity some able bodied people want/,need to view us as 🤷‍♀️

Whilst I've always been a bit 'wonky' & had my first full knee reconstruction at 14, I didn't start using mobility aids until my late 20s and up until I was 42 I had a successful & decently paid career as an Assistant Headteacher, now I live of my teachers pension & higher rate PIP- life can flip in the blink of an eye, and despite the pain, the stares, the 'helpful' comments etc.. I still try & find beauty & peace in the mundane everyday-ness. We are still here, getting to live these lives, maybe just not the lives we imagined for ourselves xx

All that screams to me resilient and strong! You sound great!

Hi, interesting perspective. I disagree because I think just continuing to be when the playing field is much harder shows a strength that's exceptional. It's not, for me, measured in getting up and running around. You can feel knackered etc but you're still here... and it's much harder. Many hugs x

I have CPTSD, OCD, chronic pain and dyspraxia. I’m also morbidly obese thanks to a combo of PCOS and medication to manage my mood. I’ve probably cost the NHS a fortune over the last few years. Up until a year ago I was on highest care and mobility.

I’ve got a decent job, I’ve got good friends, I think I’m mostly OK - but I’m also a bit of a prat; I will do anything sitting on my arse if I can, I spend far too much money and I’m absolutely my own worst enemy.

It’s difficult when your own mind is battling again you 24/7, I’m struggling to keep my house clean right now as my brain is just too bloody tired after work to even begin to deal with it - so my house is currently manky.

Both my mum and my younger sibling have complex needs (dementia, epilepsy, personality disorder, mild LD; autism, epilepsy, mental health issues, learning disability) and struggled a lot growing up. Sister still lives a very difficult now as she isn’t entitled to full PIP despite needing supported living, very difficult. Both come under that bracket of having hardly ever worked (in mums case) or never worked (sister) which makes life much harder too.

I'm disabled and I feel lazy, ashamed, think I'm not making enough of an effort, that I should try harder.

I have about 16 conditions, physical and mental health.

I do some volunteering from home every day, but the actual weight of being useless is becoming quite crippling.

Are you familiar with the concept of inspo porn? I think you might benefit from reading about it and then you could stop being condescending and patronising with your 'interesting perspective' shite.

I think the PWD know more than you do about themselves.

What a lovely idea, after a challenging morning so far with dd (8) who is ND. I shall return later to read replies and add my own!

I'm really disabled

Was expecting this comeback.

However you still do not get to tell other PWD inspo porn crap if they say it's not real for them.

You are so far from useless. Please don't think that. You've got so much on your plate and yet you continue to carry on. And you volunteer! What a woman!

Please disengage. You're unkind and I want this to be a place where people build themselves and others up. The propaganda surrounding disabled people is one that they're "useless" but it's not true. I'm not tolerating bullying.

I've had that, where I think "oh all I've done is sleep again". But rather than criticise maybe we should show ourselves compassion

Exactly this. I’ve raised 2 disabled children and am diagnosed with a disability myself. Ffs the number of people that tell me “I couldn’t do what you do”. wtf would you do then??? You’d give your children away? None of this was a conscious choice, it was all thrust upon me and, while I may be swimming now, there are plenty of times when I sunk.

Being called “strong” is a huge trigger for me. I don’t want to be strong, I wanted a life that was much easier. I wanted an easier life, full of opportunities, for my children and when people say I’m strong, as if it’s some sort of magical characteristic that I was born with what they’re really saying is that I don’t need (their) support or help.