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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To attend a work conference at 36 weeks three hours from home?

87 replies

pleaseguveadvicenotattack · 06/03/2025 17:28

No flights involved but just driving, it's an all day and evening conference, I will bring my hospital bag just in case.

I have an elective c section so will see where the hospital is local to the conference just in case but am I nuts for doing this?!

I physically feel fine, but don't know if I'm being naive?

I really want to go as it's quite important. AIBU to consider?

OP posts:

PlumpHobbit · 06/03/2025 22:01

I went to an away day approx 45 minutes drive away (colleague drove) at 34 weeks, but it was mostly sitting down and I wasn't presenting or anything. It was only during normal work hours though

I did find by the afternoon my back was killing me as the seating wasn't overly comfy. I was also absolutely shattered on getting home and could barely keep my eyes open while waiting for dinner.

I went on maternity at the end of the following week. (Planned not due to meeting!)

Think it would depend how far away it is/if another colleague can drive. Also if you're on your feet a lot or if it's mostly seated. I couldn't have done a lot of standing up. Given how shattered I was i don't think I'd want to be driving myself in your situation

Strawberryjammam · 06/03/2025 22:01

I did that sort of thing with mine, just looked up the local hospital and brought a few bits with me.

FedUpandEatingChocolate · 06/03/2025 22:06

I wouldn't, but both of mine came early! Mind you, the first labour lasted days so I'd have had plenty of time to travel back...

I travelled abroad throughout my first pregnancy, so I'm not all about wrapping up in cotton wool. But I wouldn't at 36 weeks, that's when you need to be staying local unless there's a compelling reason.

backawayfatty1 · 06/03/2025 22:13

I wouldn't. I had a C-section & the drive home with the seatbelt across my lap was so uncomfortable. I wouldn't want that drive having had surgery!

JLou08 · 07/03/2025 17:56

FeelingSoOverwhelmed · 06/03/2025 21:29

Really? They were shocked at a second labour lasting 3 and a half hours? That's quite standard for a second birth isn't it? It's certainly not unusually fast, mine was just under 2 and the midwife said that was fairly common for a second baby. My friends second lasted 28 minutes from first contraction to birth 😱

For OP it's less likely to be that quick given it's the first (although you never know!).
I think if you can pull out easily if anything changes and you want to go then go for it! My first baby was born at 34 weeks so I would have said definitely not after that, but then DC2 hung on until 42 weeks and I was so bored waiting so a 3 hour drive and a conference would have been amazing!

Show quote history

Yes, they didn't believe me when I said I needed to push and said I'd moved along really quickly. I needed antibiotics for strep-B 3 hours before which I didn't get in time as they were faffing about and saying there's still plenty of time. Said I couldn't come to the ward when my contractions were every 5 minutes because it was too soon, knowing I needed antibiotics and had a 30 minute drive to the hospital. I'm wondering if it was just very poor maternity care after hearing that it's not unusual.

abricotine · 07/03/2025 17:59

I came back from Portugal at 35+4 so I’d not have worried about driving up the road!

NotSoFar · 07/03/2025 18:00

I was still commuting by shorthaul flight weekly from another country till my airline wouldn’t accept me flying any longer at 36 weeks, so I don’t see why not.

SunshineAndFizz · 07/03/2025 18:04

Big no from me.

Just think, if you had a c-section 3 hours away you'll then have a 3 hour drive home afterwards. No thanks.

MajorCarolDanvers · 07/03/2025 18:16

Not a chance would I have done that.

if nothing else 3 hours travel at 36 weeks would be phenomenally uncomfortable

and 3 hours after a c section would be unbearable. I found 20 minutes in the car excruciating.

JoyousPinkPeer · 07/03/2025 18:22

I wouldn't

Coffeesnob11 · 07/03/2025 18:26

My company had me flying up to 36 weeks so I did my last flight at 35 weeks and 5 days. I was sick the whole time but just got used to it. I felt okay just tired but you have to judge what feels comfortable for you. I found it more uncomfortable having to visit clients in a colleagues car that had no air con.

AutumnScream · 07/03/2025 19:20

Sanch1 · 06/03/2025 18:12

I can't believe the amount of no responses! Are we supposed to wrap ourselves in cotton wool and lock ourselves away in the last month of pregnancy?! What a crock of shit. I'd go without a second thought. You've thought of what you'll need and seem sensible so don't see the issue.

Its not about being wrapped in cotton wool. Its about being sensible and practical. The closer you are to giving birth which post 35 weeks you are, means you should be thinking about how close you are to home/hospital/birth partner. Not to mention what will happen if you get stuck in traffic for hours.

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