When I met my partner I worked full time, 5 days per week, 37.5 hours. We were together for 6 months prior to falling pregnant, we moved in together (private renting) towards the end of my pregnancy. When it was time to return to work we agreed I would drop 1 day at work, my son goes to nursery 3 days per week, has 1 day with me and another day with my MIL. We were keen to have my son spend the majority of the week with family/me rather than nursery. My partner currently pays me half of the amount I lost in wages for the 1 day and I make up the other half.
I am currently on Maternity Leave looking after my 8 month old daughter, child number 2. I really want to drop another day at work, meaning she would be with me 2 days per week and nursery the remaining 3. My son would be going to primary school shortly after her starting.
Now I am wanting to do this because I feel like I really missed out on time with my son, prioritising work. I also do the majority of planning, admin, dinners for the family. My partner works full time and often isn't home until just before bedtime for the kids, when he is home he pulls his weight. Additionally, with baby number 2 life is just slightly harder, everything takes longer and I feel like I never have a moments peace, my job is emotionally demanding I worry that I'll feel really burnt out working 4 days and trying to run the home the way I like to.
My partner is very against me dropping another day, I have told him I would not be asking him to contribute half of my loss of earnings this time round and I can continue to pay half towards all bills. We are both on fairly good salaries, basic needs met and can holiday a couple of times a year, go out on family days etc. His reasoning is that we are not currently saving for a deposit for our own home and this is something really important to him, although we both do already have a decent chunk saved from before we were together. I do also really want our own home but feel that the kids are only little once and I will return to working full time once both kids are at school.
I should throw into the mix that when asked about marriage, he said he does not see the point until we own our own home. This makes me feel a bit uneasy and more keen to not compromise.