Primary mixed sex ed classes

[Pomtoo]

I have twin DDs age 9 in year 5 at school. They will start to learn about puberty in school very soon and we have been told that the girls and boys will be taught together for this subject. I was OK with this but our class WhatsApp group has now erupted and parents aren’t happy that they are being taught together. Given some of the points being put across I’m now changing my view a little and wonder what others opinions are?
Parents in the group agree boys should learn about girls changes and girls should learn about boys, but just not in as much detail. And therefore should be taught separately so they feel comfortable discussing their own bodies and changes without having the opposite sex there. If worth noting, there are no trans identifying parents or kids in the class.
Just wanted to open up a discussion on peoples views on this if anyone wants to share?
TIA

They tend to be taught together, then separated for more detailed discussion and questions. You need to trust the school and the process.
It’s important this stuff is taught properly to protect children. It gives them the knowledge and vocabulary they need to use to report if something ‘not right’ happens to them or their friends.

We haven't taught single sex education in primary schools since the early 1990s! Why don't boys need to know the details of female anatomy? Might help them as adults empathise with girls who are menstruating and might even help them find the clitoris!

Nothing stops them from discussing their own bodies and changes at home though. By the time we had sex ed at school it was old news to me.
Of course kids should be taught together. It massively helps to remove the stigma around it and prevents threads like we had a few days ago where a male doctor didn't "deal with women's issues".

We always taught Y5 and Y6 together as it’s important that they each have an understanding of puberty in both sexes.
As a pp has said, we did split girls and boys for a separate more sensitive chat with more detail on periods, wet dreams etc.

Thanks for the insight. I think I would be OK with an overall discussion with both boys and girls mixed, then being separated for more in-depth chat. As in my OP I think they should learn about each other, but the WhatsApp group have said and I agree, more detailed discussions I feel they should be separated so they feel more comfortable - as PPs have said happen at their schools. Or can they not be separated for all of it and then boys get detailed info about themselves and an overview of the girls and then vice versa?

Yep, you can’t move for traumatised kids who’ve been through this experience can you? It’s on the news, both national and local, daily. Oh wait…never mind.
Parents WhatsApp groups make anything into the biggest something almost as a rule.

Surely doing it separate just reinforces that that's women's stuff, not for us males to worry about. I thought we were trying to reduce period stigma for women, I say do it all together

I taught sex education in a primary school 25 years ago and it was the whole class together. So not a new thing. You are at liberty to remove your child I believe.

Trust the teachers on this. They really know what they are doing. They probably will have separate sex discussions. But you could have a discussion at home. School what’s app groups are a nightmare. Glad I’m not in that situation anymore.

I'd be concerned if they weren't all together. I would imagine some teachers would allow children to write down questions anonymously for the teacher to answer as to not cause embarrassment.

Surely boys learning that periods aren't a girls dirty secret is ideal? Not all boys have siblings or mothers who menstruate. My mum had a hysterectomy in her early 30's before I'd even started mine. My brother only properly learned about periods in school as no way was I talking about it in front of him during my teens. My dad was absolutely useless and had a massive freak attack when I leaked the once as a teenager.

I think separate is best. Of course, you can have a general class overview for all but separate sex education is really important especially because of the maturity differences between the sexes at that age. Girls will be going through puberty earlier than boys and it's a much more immediate issue for them. And girls deserve privacy to talk about their bodies without the interference of boys. I don't care how kind or respectful a boy may be (and there are many lovely boys at that age) his mere presence changes the dynamics of the class.

I'm sure this is true for boys as well. Shouldn't they have a space to talk and learn about their own bodies without the presence of girls?

I don’t want to remove them, not at all, and I don’t not want them to learn about changes to boys as well as themselves. Perhaps I haven’t made myself clear, but I think boys should learn about girls, and girls about boys, but the general consensus in our class seems to be separating the boys and girls when learning about these things saves their blushes, allows them to be more open with their questions etc. Both would learn about both, but the girls would learn more detail about girls and boys would learn more detail about boys.

We were mixed when I was at school but that was secondary, but this is primary and most of the kids are learning about this stuff for the first time.

I agree with that approach

We teach everything together.

If the girls want to know anything personal they come and ask me afterwards because they generally don't want the other girls hearing either. Akd they haven't been too embarrassed to ask stuff in front of the boys.

It leads to some really interesting discussions, tbh - eg I've been asked by a boy how your body knows when to make breastmilk on the back of it. The childen are really respectful, absolutely fascinated, questions are always limited to the lesson and there's no silliness afterwards. Having seen how well it works, I'd always been in favour of it now.

Treating it like its a secret tends to cause more issues IME.

Besides, we can't complain that men are clueless if we don't educate boys properly.

Thank you, yes, this is basically what is being said by the parents in the WhatsApp chat. I didn’t have much of an opinion at first, but after hearing views such as this it has pushed me towards thinking separate is probably best.

Sex Education has been taught in mixed classes for several decades now. Thinking about it, I had sex Education at secondary school in the late 80's and it was mixed classes then!!

It's just learning scientific facts, they're not being asked to show examples of anything on themselves.
They should all have all the knowledge.

What 'in-depth' things would you like to be done separately?

Als0, my daighter was taught in a mixed class which meant she was confident enough to ask her older brother to puck stuff up for her when she needed it because she didn't see it as something that should be a secret from boys.

They've had some oddly (to me with my personal 80s sex ed experience) open conversations about it.

That's it. Because it's not presented as something 'secret' and just biological facts the children just accept it.

My 4 year old knows about periods and very basic facts about how babies are made. I’d hope that if you take the approach of being open about it early it never becomes embarrassing. And that there should be nothing in year 5 sex education he doesn’t know.

It will be age appropriate. If you don’t make a big deal of it, they won’t. Sooner they understand the facts, the better. All sorts of misinformed nonsense used to be discussed in our playgrounds, pre sex-education sessions. I think separating the sexes suggests there’s something funny or naughty about differences.

(Don’t people teach their kids this stuff at home by 9 these days? Some girls are starting periods by then. We discussed openly as soon as they could understand basic concepts: where do babies come from, how do they get there, why do boys have penises and testicles and girls’ vaginas, etc. Our 4.8 grandson understand these simple facts already. At his age, it’s just information, like 5+5=10, with no connotations.There are some very good age appropriate books to read with your kids).

Trust the teachers. I'm sure they'll have systems such as anonymous questions to save kids' blushes. I doubt many kids would be comfortable asking questions out loud anyway, even if only in front of same sex peers so all separating does is encourage the mindset that boys don't need to really understand what happens to girls.

Also you keep saying about what the class WhatsApp thinks and is saying and admit you were okay with it before.

It's just how it's done in most schools and always works fine.
I'm sure if the class WhatsApp group had a look at the rest of the curriculum they would find many things to be upset about and that they would prefer done differently.

babynot · Today 17:19
**
Also you keep saying about what the class WhatsApp thinks and is saying and admit you were okay with it before.

This. Trust your initial instincts (which were correct).