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AIBU?

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Friend Wants to Hang Out Every Day - Feeling Suffocated

5 replies

Raspberry2609 · 05/03/2025 23:41

Hey everyone,

I need some perspective on this. I have a friend who lives on my street, and were both stay-at-home mums. Our kids are close in age and go to the same school, and we get along really well, but she wants to spend every single day together.

We already hang out about two or three days a week, all day, doing the school run together, taking our kids to soft play, going shopping ect. Which for me is plenty. I enjoy her company, but I also like my own space and time at home with my kids and husband. The problem is, when were not together, she messages me constantly asking what Im doing, if I want to come over for coffee, making little comments if I take a while to respond. Its nonstop, and I feel like I always have to be on.

She doesnt have many friends or family around, so I know shes lonely. I, on the other hand, have a bigger support network and like to spread my time out among different people or just be at home alone! I dont even see my closest friends or family as much as I see her. Its getting to the point where I have to lie and say Im busy when Im not, just to get some breathing room.

I dont want to hurt her feelings, but I also dont want to feel suffocated in my own life. If I didnt feel so overwhelmed by it all, i’d probably want to spend more time with her! But because its so constant, I just want to pull away even more.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? How do I set boundaries without being a bad friend?

OP posts:
NotSoFar · 05/03/2025 23:44

Just say. ‘Busy at the moment. See you on Thursday school run?’ Or whatever. And don’t respond to texts unless it suits.

Snowmanscarf · 05/03/2025 23:47

Don’t respond to every message. As @NotSoFar says, take control of the narrative.

Fourpintsoffullfatplease · 05/03/2025 23:57

Put her on mute for a lil bit. Don't feel guilty about wanting to slob about on your own

BMW6 · 05/03/2025 23:58

Just be honest with her! Tell her you won't be seeing her at all most days as you're very busy and you really value time alone.

You don't need to accommodate her neediness.

Touty · 06/03/2025 00:01

Yes me too. I just don’t know what to do about it. I feel like I can’t breathe and have to hide in my own house. I feel bad for her that she lost her husband a few years ago, her kids don’t bother much and she doesn’t seem to have much support. I hate to see someone lonely. I e tried my best.

ive started telling her I have things on but she will still ring me wanting to do something which I feel is disrespectful.

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