Am I being unreasonable to be hurt by this comment?

[1980bornstillyoung]

Currently on a city break with a long term friend, we have taken lots of photos….due to fly home tomorrow…..I was just flicking through the pics on my phone before bed ( we are 2 hours ahead of UK time) and I mentioned that I found a nice photo of myself from yesterday in my camera roll....(this rarely happens, I don’t like how I look due to weight gain for various reasons)…..quick as a flash she responded ‘what is it from 2007?’

AIBU to be hurt by this comment? I cannot imagine saying this to anyone, she does have a sarcastic sense of humour….I just laughed it off, but I’m laying here feeling quite hurt by this…..

It was a silly joke but I wouldn’t take it to heart.

Sounds rude, but it could easily be an off the cuff remark.

I would take it more as a poke at the fact you never like photos of yourself than a comment on your looks.

Its incredibly frustrating when someone in your group is the Photo Hater insisting every picture be taken multiple times and making a drama out of it, so I can see how this comment would pop out. - If I am totally projecting here and you don’t talk about hating photos then I am sorry!

Surely she meant as in you never like photos of yourself? Massively overthinking it.

No, I'm sorry, that's not funny especially if friend knows your low confidence. I'd make a comment something like, I'm not sure how you intended that comment to land but i wanted to let you know it did hurt my feelings when you said that.

I think she was just making a joke, possibly in the sense of we’re both getting older, rather than it being about the way you look personally.

I don’t really understand how this would be offensive?

Id have replied fuck off. I’d have also probably laughed had one of my friends said it to me. I think I have very different friendships to ones I find on mumsnet!

Sounds like a joke, can’t imagine getting upset over such a basic comment

Because she is suggesting that the last time the OP looked nice was 20 years ago.

Or ‘yeah you look nice in that photo and years younger!’

Nah, she’s joking. Probably thinking about photos of herself not you.

I’d assume it was a joke at her own insecurity about ageing, tbh. But in general, if you find something is hurtful, say so. Don’t laugh it off and then brood privately.

I can see why you would find this comment hurtful but if she is a good friend I very much doubt she meant to hurt your feelings. It’s likely she was referring to you not liking pictures of yourself and has probably not given it a second thought. Gently, it sounds like a you problem not her. I understand your dislike of pictures, I detest pictures of myself especially since weight gain.

No, she was suggesting that the last time the op liked a photo of herself was xxx years ago, ie she never likes photos of herself. It doesn’t mean she (the friend) thinks the op hasn’t looked good since 2007…!

If my sister said something like that to me it would be banter but it depends on your relationship with your friend and whether that's the kind of humour you both share or not.

That's bitchy in my book.

Oh I see…. (Thank you).

Well obviously I wouldn’t take offence at this (perhaps because I’m too dense to realise when I’m being insulted 😂) My first thought when reading it was that 2007 was the last time OP liked a photo of herself.

It is a bit of a shitty comment and I can see why you took offence.

If she's usually a nice friend I'd assume -

She was making a general joke about getting older.

She was making a joke that you never like photos .

Try not to take it personally