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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find it hard to leave tips in restaurants these days?

61 replies

RubyFlax · 05/03/2025 21:04

Went for a nice meal out this week with DH, to a restaurant we’ve not tried before. Food was really nice, atmosphere and service both good. All in all a lovely time.
However am I the only one who finds it hard to leave a tip these days?
I know some places will add a service charge to the bill… no issue with this (assuming the meal / service has not been a disaster), but many others do not, and I’ve found a number of times, as happened this week, the server will just hold out the card machine for you to tap contactless with the amount already on, with no mention of a tip, and no way to add it yourself as you can’t see the screen / are not holding the card reader.
What do you do in these instances ? Ask the server to amend the amount / add a tip?
Like a lot of people we hardly ever have cash on us, and often pay for stuff via Apple Pay on phone so I don’t have cash I can leave on the table afterwards.
Interested to know what others do as I feel a bit bad for not leaving one this week. Should I be verbally stating I want to add a tip before they hold out the card machine (in my opinion a bit awkward) or should I be making sure I’ve taken some cash out to leave as a tip !?
I used to work in hospitality/ waitressing as a teenager & know how appreciated tips are so it doesn’t sit right with me to not leave anything.
In the UK by the way, as I know tipping culture varies by country!

OP posts:
OldJohn · 05/03/2025 21:16

I often ask if I can add a tip to the bill ot get cash back which then goes into the tips.

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 05/03/2025 21:20

Take cash and give it to them that way

scissy · 05/03/2025 21:27

I usually end up having to ask the server if it's not obvious. There's usually a way to do it in the card machine as part of the transaction, so just ask? In those cases they've been able to sort it for me.

InsegnanteScozzese · 05/03/2025 21:28

I just ask if I can add a tip on if service isn't included.

UpToonGirl · 05/03/2025 21:41

DH always asks them to add X amount, even if they are holding the card machine out. Bit of a faff as they have to go back a few steps. I try and make sure I have cash.

yeesh · 05/03/2025 21:41

in a lot of places they don’t get tips paid by card we always just take some cash first a tip.

DuringDinnerMints · 05/03/2025 21:42

I ask the server if they get to keep their tips. Quite often, they can keep cash tips but anything on the card reader gets kept by the owner.

Nanny1983 · 05/03/2025 21:44

My dd works in a well known restaurant and she gets to keep any tips in cash given to her to take home that night but if they pay card or add to the bill she gets a percentage in her wages and has to share the rest of her tip with the kitchen .

Give a tip in cash especially if the service has been lovely from a certain member of staff .

Applestrudeled · 05/03/2025 21:44

I make an effort to carry a bit of cash for tips. Every time it comes to leaving a tip, my friends act like it is a massive surprise. It's not terribly difficult to prepare for! (And I rarely spend cash normally - generally I just spend notes so I can get a few coins in change for situations like tipping.)

TheChosenTwo · 05/03/2025 21:46

I will either ask to add it to the bill if they hand out a card machine or leave cash if I have it.
So no, I don’t find it hard to tip, it’s very straightforward in fact!

user1471453601 · 05/03/2025 21:46

A restaurant is one of the few places I pay cash, for this reason.

I often eat out with two different groups, and We all do it. It's an attempt to ensure the tip goes to the servers and we hope the cook

0ohLarLar · 05/03/2025 21:47

I don't actually think tips are expected in places that do it that way with the amount on screen. The service charge has usually already been included.

Its not like the US, where staff are paid very low wages and can even be taxed assuming they've earned a minimum amount more in tips regardless of whether they have

Twinstudy · 05/03/2025 21:48

I prefer to leave cash but like you rarely have it.

I usually just ask them to round the bill up to x amount when they come over with the card machine

0ohLarLar · 05/03/2025 21:49

I often eat out with two different groups, and We all do it. It's an attempt to ensure the tip goes to the servers and we hope the cook

Is there a particular reason why you rhink serving staff deserve additional pay any more so that the cashier or shelf stacker in a supermarket or any other low waged workers who don't receive tips?

It enables employers to offer wages that are too low.

Wendolino · 05/03/2025 21:53

I just say "can you make it £??" so they round it up to add a tip. Nobody's refused so far! They have all just said Thank you.

0ohLarLar · 05/03/2025 21:53

I ask the server if they get to keep their tips. Quite often, they can keep cash tips but anything on the card reader gets kept by the owner.

That's illegal in the uk.

The employment (allocation of tips) act 2023 means all tips and service charges have to be allocated to workers.

You can tip on the machine & staff will share the tip between them.

Mrsgreen100 · 05/03/2025 21:56

If there’s a service charge now times are hard
I don’t tip anymore
no service charge then if the service is good I leave cash
in some circumstances I put it Ito the servers hand
having worked in the industry and have a son who works nights in a pub , the manager takes the drinks ( money ) they are given for a Christmas party!!!!
which consists of a couple of drinks in the pub and a bloody pizza

WtP · 05/03/2025 21:57

DuringDinnerMints · 05/03/2025 21:42

I ask the server if they get to keep their tips. Quite often, they can keep cash tips but anything on the card reader gets kept by the owner.

Not true any more, We have implemented the TRONC legislation that came in force Oct 2024. Any tips paid using card are split 60% front of house 30% Kitchen & 10% Housekeeping split depending on your hours. We all had a ballot as to how the split should be done and all agreed it.
https://www.theaccessgroup.com/en-gb/blog/hos-tips-and-tronc/

MudpiesinEssex · 05/03/2025 21:58

I don't find it hard to tip in cash.

Passtheduchess · 05/03/2025 21:58

When you ask for the bill, just ask if service is included. If not then tell them to add whatever amount you want to the bill if you're using a card or leave cash on the table or at the till if you have cash.

maddening · 05/03/2025 22:07

I work out what I want to pay and say to make the amount to that

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 05/03/2025 22:12

We always ask them to 'make it out to £....' (cost on our bill plus around 10%) .

Blinky21 · 05/03/2025 22:17

I ask if a tip is included and if not I ask them to amend the bill to include

SalfordQuays · 05/03/2025 22:24

Same as others have said.
I went for a meal with 2 friends last week. The bill came to about £93. We each paid separately. We confirmed with the waitress that the staff got the whole tip, and each asked to pay £35 on our cards.
If servers tell me they only get a percentage of the tip on the card machine, then I leave cash instead.

Stealthmodemama · 05/03/2025 22:25

I suspect if you pay extra on the card the servers wont see the tip