Hiring manager ignored me after referral

[theworriermum]

Has this ever happened to anyone or any advice appreciated.

An ex colleague who I didn't know personally but worked with, contacted me on LinkedIn to say the company they now work for have a role which they thought for me for straight away.

Indeed it's exactly my role and region, so made perfect sense to me.

I explained I was away for 2 weeks but keen to learn more and asked what was required.

A personal email address for an intro to the hiring manager (VP based in US) and my CV, then this person could officially refer me in.

I explained my CV wouldn't be refreshed until I was home but sent my email for the intro. It went quiet. Just under a week later he said thanks, he would let me apply directly and would make the intro. Nothing. I left it a few days and said 'look forward to the intro'.

Eventually it came and was a glowing referral. I was touched by the kind words (Chatgpt probably helped). I emailed back to the hiring manager and explained I was away but would be back on x date the very happy to meet in the meantime and be flexible around her schedule.

That was a week ago and she ignored me. As I have been away I didn't follow up but plan to do so tomorrow.

I just feel if she had a candidate pipeline problem she wouldn't have ignored me. I also find it rude she hasn't event responded. Firstly someone in her reporting line emailed the into and then I emailed back, she missed both?!

Any thoughts?

You're obviously very capable of reflecting and taking on board ways to do things differently so be kind to yourself and just consider this a learning experience for the future.

I suspect your DH may just be nodding and agreeing bearing in mind your multiple posts on here at the disbelief a company would have a set process and need a CV whoever recommended a potential new recruit.

Good luck with the job but don't put too much store on the referral. They may just be after the cash bonus a company usually offers when they can save a recruitment agency fee.

I suspect your ex colleague has raised your expectations unduly here - sounds most likely you are not what the hiring manager is looking for in the role.

I have an open role at the moment and had a few well meaning colleagues try to shove candidates firmly the process and it has (unintentionally) pissed me off because I look at the CV and think “not quite what I’m looking for” or “doesn’t bench against the cvs I have” but yet either I have to have a pointless call when I know they wouldn’t be on a shortlist or I’m the bad guy if I don’t want to do it.

I would say it depends on a whole bunch of factors. Some jobs I've been put in touch with the person hiring by a friend or ex-colleague and we've started things with an informal chat, others have been a case of applying first.

One job I was hassled by a former colleague to send over my CV. Great opportunity, it would be perfect for you, blah blah. Sent it over, never heard anything back and former colleague left the company a few months later.

You never really know what's going on from the outside so I'd just apply and see what happens.

@Spirallingdownwards appreciate your input but the hiring manager has my CV plus I applied directly, and it has not changed the outcome.

DH would not just agree with me, quite the opposite, he quite likes to challenge status quo. He was quite surprised both emails from me were ignored and the LI connection. Highly unusual is how he described it. I agree and that's why I asked if it's happened to anyone else or if I'm BU.

You've mentioned multiple times that you're on holiday?? That's why

You're starting to sound a bit desperate if you keep contacting them

She has probably therefore put you in the processing pile and will contact you once all applications have been considered giving the same equal consideration to other applicants .

She may have a policy of not accepting people on LinkedIn until they are actual hires.

Not everyone lives their work lives the same way you do. My husband doesn't link with jis own employees or own partners but does share his company posts or sees their posts if they tag the company. That's his choice and not one I follow.

Tbh frequently as a hiring manager - (esp if applications are meant to go via HR) I hate people reaching out direct.

As an introvert with a busy job your persistence and communicating even twice would in settle me and make me feel awkward.

@Attictroll @coxesorangepippin im
Interesting why I've been described as desperate and off putting for contact g the hiring manager twice in 12 days?

The first email was a reply to an introduction someone else made to connect us. The second was to send my CV which I couldn't send in the first instance given I was away without access to it.

OP, I’m sorry you didn’t get a response. I’m trying to be gentle but clear, here… you are taking this way too personally and putting too much energy into this, especially given you weren’t even looking for a job and the only (asked for) time input from you has been to send a CV. That’s all you ever needed to do - send a CV and say “I’d love to connect here’s my availability.” Then they respond how they respond, including the possibility of crickets.

Yes, a response would have been polite but accepted practice on this has unfortunately trended towards it being considered ok for hiring managers and companies not to respond to initial inquiries, especially in the US. And in-house referrals are often incentivized programs for employees that aren’t driven by the hiring manager for a given role, so there was every chance that the hiring manager already had a candidate in mind or was just looking for a profile you didn’t fit. Her lack of communication was an indicator to lower your expectations, send the CV, and then go back to your life. All the mind-reading and overanalyzing and frustration is a waste - don’t take it as feedback on your approach to the actual communications, just view this experience as a reminder to try not to let your brain jump on that hamster wheel of internal drama.

@GravyBoatWars thank you for your well thought out response(s). You're incredibly level headed and I hope many years older than me (I'm almost 40 believe it or not) but have work to do on my anxiety levels.

You're right, I shouldn't beat myself up with how I responded. I would imagine posting on MN doesn't help on that department. Plenty of opinions flying around.

Indeed, the hiring manager is simply not interested. Didn't want to meet but possibly found it awkward and/or was too busy to figure out a polite way to let me down.

I'm glad I've got an updated CV and it's spurred me on to start applying for some roles now.

Again appreciate your input. If only you were on my shoulder at all times being pragmatic and fair.

@theworriermum I have always had an anxious, overthinking brain. For the most part I settled on not trying to fight its existence or let it run things - I focus on identifying what part of my internal reaction is rational and helpful and what is coming from that anxiety voice (or rejection-fearing, or taking things personally, or angry about something else, etc) and just sort of think of them as two separate people. The anxiety voice is the elderly relative sitting in the passenger seat making sure I see the red lights, telling me 5 under the speed limit is too fast, warning me about the latest social crisis in schools they heard about at their chair yoga class and how their neighbor 3 houses down didn't say hi first when they passed at the market and it definitely must have been intentional because the neighbor is probably angry that Betty two streets over didn't invite them to the last bridge party ... and my job is to drive the car like a reasonable person and go "mhmm" periodically because I can't change them. I'm not trying to shut up the anxiety, I just need to mentally separate from it a bit and not let it drive the car or cause a mental breakdown. It's not a magic fix but it helps immensely.

Having a CV is always a good thing. The worst case scenario came true here - the hiring manager never responded. And you know what? That's going to have zero lasting effect on you (who is she? some random manager at a company that wasn't even on your radar for a job you weren't looking to get?) and ultimately you came out ahead because you updated your CV. No matter what your anxiety brain was chattering on about, you actually behaved reasonably and made the right moves for you. Well done.

@GravyBoatWars and that's the power of MN!!

I've got a renewed energy thanks to your reply. Indeed, I came out of this with an updated CV and also I've realised how exciting the prospect of a new challenge is for me.

Personally, I wouldn't ignore someone who a) had been introduced by a member of my team (no matter how junior they were), b) took the time to send me their CV and email me, especially while on their holiday.

It takes no time at all to send a quick acknowledgment one liner. You never know who you will cross paths with one day, so treating people well is a good start.

I wasn't mortified I wasn't fast tracked through the process at any stage as some suggested, more so that I still can't believe someone would behave like that.

I wonder whether she may have found the tone of your colleague's approach a bit presumptuous - 'I will leave you both to find a time to connect' suggests it's a done deal she will meet with you. Also if you read the referral and think chatgpt, may she have felt the same?
Many companies want to ensure their recruitment processes are transparent and treat all potential applicants equally (sometimes there are legal implications if not doing so). Contacting one candidate on the basis of a personal recommendation when others must apply with a CV could be problematic, and appointing someone to a role based on personal referral and LinkedIn profile may miss good candidates.
Finally apologies if I missed this, but how did your communications reach the hiring manager? Presumably your ex-colleague didn't pass contact details that weren't generally available?

@TheTrainNowDeparting the ex colleague sent an email connecting us both. So I replied all. The second email I took him off and sent my CV but she never came back, nor did I get a response to my online application. It's most bizarre in my opinion.

In my experience you only make an intro if you've pre agreed it with the hiring manager. I've had plenty people ask me offline if I'd meet someone and when I say yes, they intro me.

I've also asked my team for referrals or intros to people in their network for roles I've hired for. It's very common. The role was reposed on LinkedIn, which made me think they were struggling to find what they were looking for.

The company I work at and their company are very similar and so, I wrongly assumed she was keen for the intro and agreed to it beforehand.

Seems you're right and he blindsided her. Maybe it's a message to him and not me but that would be cutting off your nose to spite your face if you did need to fill the role. I'm very confused, maybe one day I will message him to thank him for the intro and let him know I was cream pied!

So with the position advertised and this being a standard way of introducing candidates in your industry, I can't see much you could have done differently. As you said earlier, if you had communicated less, you may have been left wondering if you should have done more... If it were me, I wouldn't give up hope just yet, but in the meantime you have an up to date CV which is never a bad thing.

I literally emailed her saying I would happily have a call whilst I was away and would work around her schedule, it wasn't an excuse.

I was staying in a villa so could hardly nip to the business centre. Ultimately, she now has my CV and still hasn't replied.

If anything, most VP level leaders tell employees to be at work or be on holiday and don't mix the two up. My CV wasn't up to date, I've been at my company for 5 years and it wouldn't have been a 5 min job to update it with the correct performance numbers. They needed looking up.

Either way the ship has sailed, no idea what her issue is but I'm pretty sure it wasn't me being on holiday and not sending a CV.

I'd say bullet dodged. Unresponsive bosses are the pits.