To not let dd go to sleepover

[Catontoof]

Dd wants to go to sleepover I have offered to collect her late but she has refused.
She is 13. 14 in May.
the reason I do t want her staying out is that twice since November she has drink alcohol when out. Was sick and then sick whilst asleep. I simply cannot trust her to be safe when out.

she thinks I'm the worst
aibu ???

No, not at all. Your job as her parent is to keep her safe and if she can't be trusted to keep herself safe whilst not with you, then she needs to not be going to sleepovers.
She's let you down twice now, unfortunately she has to deal with the consequences of her own actions.

Fair enough. She broke the rules twice. Consequences

Stick to your guns. Show her you mean it when you say no.

That'd be a nope from me.

Consequences of her own actions. I wouldn't budge an inch. A friend of my sister's died choking on her own vomit when she'd passed out drunk.

A teacher friend of mine says that sleep overs are the highest risk for children/teenagers. In the case where there maybe a brother or brothers friend etc…. You get my drift.
She’s the lead for SA reports in her school. It’s Monday around 11am she gets them. It’s when the child has had time to process what happened at the weekend.

Stick to your guns. She did demonstrate she couldn’t be trusted twice.

Yep you're right. It's a tough call but explain your reasons and hope she understands. Also tell her when you will trust her to go on a sleepover. But you are 💯 right on this.

This is my worry I haven't let her stay out since not will I got a very long time

Thanks everyone felt like I was going mad for a minute.

She broke the rules twice so she has to face the consequences.she needs to regain your trust . My aunt died by asphyxiation on her own vomit it can happen so easily.

As a consequence for her own actions/behaviour it's exactly what you should be doing. Offering to pick her up so she still has some fun, was actually quite nice of you. If she can't appreciate that, then she can stay at home bored.

It really scares me

No she has declined this so I have told her she needs to stick to this now. She is guilting me and to be honest iv given in far too many times but I know I'll stick to this as many of you have said my absolute worst fear which is her choking which had she not been supervised I'm sure she would have done

It doesn't sound like she is mature enough to be trustworthy. At 13, she shouldn't be drinking alcohol at all and obviously didn't learn her lesson after the first time! Stick to your guns and make sure that she knows that this is the consequences of her poor choices before. You are the adult and you make the rules - if you give in now she'll just think you're a pushover.

Do you know I clicked on this thinking you were being a totally overprotective parent with the title. But I absolutely would not let her have a sleepover given past behaviour. Just 💯 no. Well done for putting your foot down. Keep it down 😉

It is terrifying , and at 13 your dd probably thinks she's invincible and doesn't realise the damage she's doing .