Are you an irritable person?

[Britishsummertime22]

I feel like I am such an irritable person. There are so many things that annoy me on a daily basis. I don't particularly want to be like this. I find most other people selfish, rude, noisy etc

I definitely am and I also over analyse everything

Yes and I also absolutely fucking hate small talk

Yes. More so as I've hit mid 40s.

Fuck yes. I'd probably be happier if I weren't.

Otoh, perhaps if I were happier in general I'd be less irritable...

No not really - I am very laidback and can't really be arsed to be honest

I'm going to try it too. At the moment I feel like the whole world can fuck right off. 😂

Yes! Pretty much most of the time for various unimportant reasons. Always have been for as long as I can remember.

Yes!
I was talking about this the other day and thinking about when it started. I feel like this is a relatively new thing for me but it’s definitely getting worse.

I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an impatient arsehole and I just really hate people.

Only when I'm hungry.

Yeah, I have a lot of anger and a busy brain. I hide it pretty well, and would be known as positive and personable. It's all up in my head. I routinely think I'm surrounded by idiots (yes I've read the book and know I'm actually the idiot).

We live in an angrier world

How are you all NOT?
Don't you get irritated by all the incompetence, unprofessionalism, negligence of others?

I find I am when I’m overwhelmed by things. At first it was my job, I worked long hours in a high stress environment so I turned that stress outwards to everyone else. I almost saw it as other people’s role to make my life smoother, given the turmoil I had to deal with at work. Obviously unreasonable of me, I know!

I eventually quit the job and was like a new woman… until I had young kids, now it’s hit me a bit again as I’m constantly overwhelmed by the kids, but at least I’m a bit more aware this time round…

Last week I was faced with huge incompetence and I was irritated but it's not frequent. I'm quite clear with people these days which is how I face incompetence and unprofessionalism.
I just assume half of the people I come across will be bad at what they do so I'm pleasantly surprised when people are professional and polite or other drivers are polite and give me way or thank me.

I hear you

I can get very intolerant pre menstrually. I used to get quite significant PMT when I was very young. Then it went away and now I feel the return now I'm perimenopausal. I know exactly where I am in my cycle by how I feel.

I'm actually quite a kind, caring person. But I'll be truthful seeing as I'm anonymous: my marriage can be lonely (husband ASD) and some of my needs go unmet, and I think when you're long term with someone with ASD , because you do most of the accommodating you can almost end up mirroring their behaviour in public because it becomes what you know.

So if there are lots of people talking and having an animated conversation, I can become internally irritated and feel resentful towards them. But I used to love an animated conversation! I think some of my husbands traits have rubbed off on me. So it's similar to what someone said up thread : its probably very likely a 'me' problem, not the others who I'm getting internally angry with 😅

If I feel I've been irritable or judging people harshly I try to give myself a bit of a nip and remember my values. (It doesn't help that DH is very factual and negative about people in general and that can rub off too) - he does have redeeming features I promise!

Just want to say all the refreshing honesty on this thread Is very commendable.

No. I'm not.

Nothing irritates me. I'm very calm.

That doesn't mean I don't say no, or that's not ok, or don't advocate.

I'm very good at saying that's not ok.

But I don't react. As in, I'm not reactive.

No, nothing annoys me really. I don't think being irritated or annoyed with people is anything other than a reaction to your own feelings.

I don't think I've ever shouted at anyone, that's letting circumstances or someone control your feelings.

I've told people to fuck off, but it's always a gentle fuck off rather than a shouted fuck off.

It's always a 'Just fuck off' with a smile/laugh.

Just fuck off.

This is exactly how I feel sometimes.
I can feel the red rage rising in me, and more so in the last few years.
I work as a lead consultant, and there are many times (pre op), I need to get my brain absolutely focused on what’s ahead. I don’t want to be asked or told what’s on the menu in the canteen. Apparently I have this “look” when I’m irritated, and it shows because it soon shuts them up.
It could be that I’m carrying a lot of responsibility on my shoulders, or I’m getting older and a grouchy, intolerant cow.

Ok.

But why?

Is it because you've been expected to take on more responsibility than your male cohorts?

I get that.

I know quite a few middle aged surgeons, bejeysus I know theee clinical directors (all men).

They're not pissed off.

They fucking love it.

I’m the same op.

There are shocking bad manners all around, and everyone seems so selfish, even if not in an obvious way then they’ll be very self invested/absorbed. And as for adult bullies, they can just fuck off!