I had a traumatic birth in 2021, with my son. It started with an induction and ended with a Cat 1 EMCS, and then an 8-day stay in hospital.
I had birth listening afterwards, where the hospital apologised for a 'catalogue of errors', offered compensation and promised me that I'd have a consultant midwife throughout my next pregnancy.
I'm now 34 weeks pregnant. I met my consultant at 14 weeks, who asked my opinions on giving birth - then I was fairly seriously unwell over Christmas, and it was raised that it may be better for the baby to be born around 36/37 weeks. I saw my consultant two weeks ago, who wanted another scan before we made a final plan - that was initially booked for last week, but was then moved to yesterday.
Last Friday, the consultant midwife contacted me, and said that having reviewed everything, she actually thought I should consider a vaginal birth. We talked through plans, and how she felt it'd be better, and how it'd practically work.
Yesterday I had the scan, but without a consultant review, as the scan was in the evening and the clinic doesn't run that late. A midwife has reviewed it and said it's fine; but said she was concerned that my section had not yet been booked, and would send a referral for a date-setting appointment when I'm 39 weeks, which felt very late! This morning, the hospital called to say they'd rejected that appointment.
This afternoon, my consultant midwife has emailed to say she's going to arrange another meeting with the consultant to finalise the section plans, and will then let me know the date. She hasn't said why, or what has made her change her mind, and I've been unable to reach her on the phone.
I've got awful anxiety now. I'd got my head around that it would need to be a section but I'm really struggling with the idea of being back on the ward overnight after all the trauma from last time, and although my hospital now allows men to stay with you 24/7, my husband will need to be with our toddler so won't be able to... and they'd really sold me on the idea that if I gave birth vaginally, they'd sort us a room to all be together until I could go home, and I probably wouldn't be in overnight.
AIBU to want a bit of a plan now?
(I should say that I have clinically diagnosed PTSD and birth trauma; on top of bipolar, so while I'm fairly stable - I am very worried about the impact that all of this on my mental health, and I know my worries may not seem the most rational, but sometimes life isn't)