I was wondering what were your first signs that you did not like your spouse and divorce crossed your mind?
I don't know if my reasons are valid, or I am just overthinking. We have been married for just over a year and dated for a few years prior to marrying. My husband is nice, BUT I feel like he doesn't value me enough.
For example, he has been giving my own stuff which I have purchased to his brother and his wife. We have a house near to them and they happened to have a key. They have been letting themself in, taking stuff from our home. I have noticed more and more little bits are missing. I spoke to my husband about this, he first told me yeah, they have asked him about x,y,z things and he has told them they can take it. Bear in mind, I was the last one to find out about this and this was my own stuff. Then, I have realized that more things are missing, someone who has given me a gift that I have kept in the house is missing, and other things. My husband is saying he doesn't know what has happened to these things. My assumption is that they have taken it as they are the only ones who have had a key from our home.
On top of this, they have used our house as a place where they can come and cook meals at our home. Bear in mind, they have their own house, but apparently the wife doesn't like the smell of cooked food in her kitchen,s o they have used my house for cooking.
I have asked my husband 1000 times to ask, and asked him to ask his brother to give the key back and clarify with them re the missing items and asked him to confront them and demand these things to be given back. My husband always has some excuse for why hasn’t asked them. Not to mention that my husband SIL has been calling me trash to others, when I have confronted his brother about this he screamed at my face saying he doesn't give a f* what his wife says about me, she hates me etc. From this moment, I was done with him and his family. I made a compromise with my husband that he can carry the relationship with his brother but as long as it's limited.
I have lost my cool with my husband because I ran out of patience. He is not willing to address things, it is never the right moment according to him, he always has some excuse for why he hasn't asked his brother. Bare in mind, they still do speak several times a week. I have lost my temper with him and so did he, but he is saying I am overreacting, and this scenario does not require me to stress, because he will do it. It is always the same story.
When it comes to other things in the house my husband behaves the same. It takes him months and months to do something simple. I am so tired of always having to remind him to take the trash out for example, call the car insurance people re the car. Simple things like this that I have to ask 1000 times and at the end I just end up doing it myself. His theory is if I have asked 50 times, I should ask again. This is very stupid and frustrating.
We do not have kids yet and I am not sure I could have a child with someone who needs 100 reminders about everything.
Am I being too demanding ? According to him I want everything done now, now, now. But it is not the case, things get dragged on for months and he still hasn't taken action. In terms of the house admin, I just do it myself because if he starts something it never finishes, or he forgets to answer emails, things get missed so I need to jump in and solve it.
Thank you!