To not want my sons to go to private school because of the culture?

[NimblePoster]

I know private schools have advantages, but I keep hearing horror stories about the culture - elitism, strange traditions, and boys being pressured into weird or degrading games (yes, including that one). I don’t want my sons exposed to that environment, even if the academics are good. AIBU to think private schools might not be worth it?

He sounds a charmer

There's a huge range of private schools, just as there's a huge range of state schools. You are not unreasonable to not want your son to attend a school with the type of culture you're describing but you are completely unreasonable to assume that that's the norm in private schools. It's as unreasonable as assuming that there are knife wielding drug dealers in every state school.
When you're choosing a school it's best to look at all the options realistically available to you and judge each on its own merits. Making sweeping generalisations is foolish and could lead to you missing out on a school that may suit your son very well.

I find the lack of criticism thinking on this site so incredibly depressing. Do people really just believe any old crap?

There are around 500,000 children at private schools in the UK. Do you really think that hundreds of thousands of parents are happily sending their kids to institutions rife with sexually degrading games, in the belief that they are going to turn into elitist horrors?

Or, maybe, possibly, there are some bad kids/bad schools in the private sector, just like there are bad kids/schools in the state sector.

Agreed. If OP’s kids have a similar level of critical thinking to her she needn’t worry, there’s no way they’d pass an entrance exam.

You're so right, OP - a friend of a friend from Pilates told me about a boy she knew who went to private school, and they made him keep an owl in his bedroom, and the teachers threatened to make him drink 'potions' (sp?). The worst thing was, he had a scar and everyone made a massive deal about it, poor kid. So much Latin, too.

Sent DS to private school which we spent a lot of time visiting before he went. It was very strong academically and took no nonsense from the pupils. It was ideal for him and he did well. I am conscious not everyone has the privilege of doing so, but I did not regret a decision to go private.

boarding is different... I wouldn't send my kids to board. But private day school absolutely.