Ok, this is an attempt at keeping a long story short. Got engaged, found out I was pregnant so hurried the wedding before the baby (and lockdown) came. Nothing was quite right from around the time the baby came and I ended up staying in my house and he was in his (live in the same road), never lived together. He has terrible snoring and didn’t follow treatment from the hospital so that never improved and we have been unable to share a space. This sets the living arrangement scene.
now to the debt…
so fast forward 3 years of him never chipping in financially, me unable to work more than part time at home, me paying for everything for the child and, if it wasn’t for my elderly parents I’d have lost my home etc. he finally blurts out he has taken a 2nd mortgage consolidation loan for 20years to pay off £30k of secret debt I knew nothing about. He will pay back x3 what he owed. That was quite the bombshell. We had no holidays, no wedding (I paid for the service, no celebration party etc), no big purchases, literally nothing to show for it.
he was never going to do it again or lie, or not communicate etc and started antidepressants but he ditched them after 2m and lied about that. 9m later I found out about another loan which he denied then admitted but said it was £2k and he wouldn’t take it. A month later I discovered it was £4k and he had taken it. WW3 broke out and he sobbed that his mum hates me and he isn’t close to his family and will star5 communicating blah blah.
novemeber comes and I find credit cards, I hit the roof, he disappears, the child suffers for 2 weeks then goes into a full school refusal etc. now I have her part time in school only so can barely work at all. He still doesn’t pay for her at all and now has another debt solution in place which means he has no credit for 5 years.
I feel utterly cheated. I want a divorce to be free from that hanging over me.
am I being unreasonable?