Feeling overwhelmed today

[Burpeesagain]

I’m not even sure why I’m posting today, I just feel so totally overwhelmed today and I don’t know if it’s just me not coping or I’m trying to do much.
I’m a single mum to 2 DDs, 11&16 plus a dog and 2 cats. I run my own housekeeping business and I’m trying to manage 5 members of staff while also still out working at cleans myself 5 days, the endless invoicing, cancellations and staff moaning just never seems to stop.
I go to the gym 6 days a week at 6am to make sure I fit in and get it done, someone always needs a lift, the dog needs walking, no one tidies up after themselves but happily complain the house is a mess.
I’ve had a massive tax bill come in that I can’t afford to pay, my eldest had signed herself up for a 4 day canoe expedition, that’s costing £600 that I now have to find along with my youngest dd going on a school trip that’s £150.
I have a boyfriend who lives over an hour away and haven’t even got the energy or will to see him at the moment, that’s starting to feel like another job to add to the ever growing list.
one of my clients is 90 years old and has been really poorly, I feel like I’m becoming more of a carer for her now which is putting me under even more pressure, I’m now responsible for making her 3 meals a day, leaving there after I’ve given her lunch and making sure she’s got dinner made up and now I don’t feel like I can even take a day off work,
how do other single mums cope? I know I’m having a bad day but the anxiety is setting in today and I feel like I’m doing a million things at once and doing it all very poorly at the moment!

I’m not a single mum but a mum that does it all for everyone too, I hear you and I know that feeling of other peoples problems becoming your problem.You need to hand back responsibility.

First things first, your 16 year old has no right to sign themselves up to £600 activities. If she wants to do it, she can earn it. Write her up chores she can do to help you and earn credits towards her activity.

At 11 & 16 they are old enough to take on certain responsibilities. They can feed and walk the dog, they can make their own beds, put the hoover round etc.

The 90 year old client needs more paid help other than you. Talk to her, tell her you now have other commitments to your children that mean you cannot keep providing her with as much help. Sit down and either help her or contact family who can help her find alternative arrangements.

You are going to meet resistance and people will push back but stay strong and be firm. All of these things will give you more time to effectively manage your business.

Sometimes we need to say enough is enough. “Oh you are good”, “I don’t know what I would do without you”, “Burpeesagain does it again” “Burpeesagain, you are such a star”……. A pat on the back doesn’t make the hit any less of a hit. Sometimes you would rather not take the hit!

It sounds like you are doing a brilliant job.
1 - ring the tax office and take out a payment plan. You pay it monthly over a year. It doesn't affect your credit score and it's minimal interest.

1. Tell your boyfriend you are feeling overwhelmed and the reasons why. He may be able to help. Or if he is someone who is unhelpful then don't prioritise him, he will just have to wait.
2. Think about the £600 trip. Can you definitely not afford it? Is there anyone who might contribute eg granny or kids dad? If not consider cancelling. You could do something else instead. Something much cheaper.

Good luck. One thing at a time.

You're doing amazingly! I'm overwhelmed with just one, and a very blank social calendar compared to you!

Can your boyfriend help alleviate some of the stress? That's part of being in a relationship, and the support might help.

No advice really, just want to wish you well and tell you you're not at all unreasonable for feeling this way 💕

The moaning staff - give them the option of leaving.
The daughter who signed up for an expensive trip without asking - tell the school you didn't agree to it. Any fees for cancelling your dd pays.
The messy house - make a rota, only clear up after yourself, no lifts until it is done.