To be longing for four year olds DS to start school?

[ijustcantwaitforit]

I’m sure it’s not all roses then either.

No childcare fees; this is a biggie. DS currently attends nursery for three days a week and I am still paying around £400 a month for this. I’m longing for more money.

Then the two days he has with me seem quite costly in so many ways - yesterday all we did was go to a park but it was still £4 parking and £7 (!) for ice creams. I know - I can say no but I suppose the point is when he’s at school that isn’t as much of a consideration.

It is Hard Work on those two days (I also have another child who is twenty months) and it will be so much calmer with just one, although still hard work of course.

I guess I’m just looking to September and I shouldn’t be, I should be enjoying the time we have left together and I am trying to, honestly, but I just want him to start school!

I have a 20 month old and a child in school, it IS easier when they start. I'm already looking forward to when my littlest starts school and that's in 2027 🙊 and come September she'll hopefully be doing school hours at the pre-school (providing we get a place) and I can't wait for that either.

It doesn't mean you don't love your child, or that you're wishing their life away (as my mum accused me of doing). There will just be a point on the horizon where life is a bit easier and it's OK to look forward to that. These are hard years.

My ds was a handful at 4.. I was the only dm not tearful that day in September long ago!! He also had a sibling 20 months younger.. Who was sheer bliss!!

Same as OP but he's my only.
When he used to go 5 days a week to nursery while I was working full time I used to feel guilty. Now he's only going 3 days but the remaining 2 days are hard work.

He has very rarely had tantrums. And is generally a sweet little boy. But when they come on his days with me. I like to remind myself it's a phase.

dd1 is 17 now but I still remember wanting a wonderful term with her before starting school (I was on maternity with dtds). Instead she was mean and jealous and it wasn’t the special memory-making time I planned.

The September mums crying as they dropped dc off for a 2 hour taster always baffled me. I skipped away. I do love my dc, honest!

They can start school nursery from 3 in Wales. It's not compulsory but pretty much everyone I know has done it. It seemed really early with my very easy going first born - and not soon enough with my very demanding youngest!

Oops, wrong thread.

Depressing post. Surely it will cost as much to park with only 1 child in the car, or will you not be taking them to the park? You could buy 1 less ice cream I guess.

Oh absolutely. But yes two of everything is obviously more than one. Yesterday it was just an ice cream (though it adds up) but if you think over the course of a year it’s two soft play sessions, two entries to a group or session, two cakes, two ice creams, two milkshakes.

DS is no trouble but it can be difficult meeting their needs when I have them both.

I am ready to have them both start school really but the younger one is not until 2027!

I'm the opposite (don't think either of us are right/wrong - your post just struck a chord with me for different reasons).
Possibly because she's my second child and last, I am absolutely dreading September, I could cry thinking about it. No more lovely days with her every Monday when I'm off, I'd gladly sacrifice the money for another year spending time with her just the 2 of us. They're little for such a short time.

Ah ignore me, I'm just being grumpy. I'll tell you though, when you have to bribe your near adult children to take time out of their busy lives to spend time with you it will cost more than just an ice-cream 😁

Do you work full time? Is the £400 on top of the free places? I'm not sure how it all works now?

Will he attend wrap around when he starts school?

Where do you live?
If in England he is entitled to 15 hours of free pre school education.
Could you not put him into a nursery class connected to a primary school?
The only thing you'd have to pay for is possibly some snacks and a uniform if they require one.

I'm the opposite (no judgement) although my son's very late summer born so we've deferred him starting this year until next. I love our days of nothingness apart from walks and baking etc.

Presume it's not costing you £400 plus in nursery fees then.

@Gogogo12345 he goes to a pre school 4 mornings, gets the 15 hours. That will continue next year

Yanbu...I was absolutely thrilled when my dc started school and skipped happily away past the weeping mothers 😂

Absolutely this. Now all mine have left home, I really cherish the time I had with the kids when they were younger. Buying two or three of everything wasn't an issue for us. Couldn't afford it, as I wasn't working so we just took our own stuff along with us. Consequently, wasn't paying nursery fees. Dinner now for DC and partners comes at a cost much more than two or three ice creams, but I have invested recently in an ice cream maker.

Don't wish the time away. It will soon be gone anyway and each stage just brings with it its own concerns, worries and expense. Live for the moment and enjoy what it gives you.

Yes but not costing a small fortune like the OPs child. You might be less keen to defer if it did

I work three days a week. DS goes to nursery for these days but it is still £400 with the funded hours because of food, he’s there more than 9-3 term time too.

I’ll still have nursery fees to pay for DD. But she gets 30 funded hours from September (she currently has fifteen) so that will go down and also it’s obviously only one child.

I think it is natural to look forward. I have to be honest and say I don’t massively enjoy my days off with the kids; there are lovely moments but it’s very tiring. With just one it’s not quite as loud or intense 😅

I was also very happy although with my youngest there was a slight bittersweet twinge that a phase of my life was over!

On the other hand, I was then grappling with managing school holidays. At points I have looked back wistfully at a nursery that was open 51 weeks of the year.

Do you get your 30hours?
My kids were full time 8.30-3.30 term time only in the year before reception.

I'm with @Porcuporpoise , you'll miss this one day and my teenagers are lovely, but stressful and a whole different level of spending.

I think a lot of people find that final summer before school a bit tricky though, especially with those who are older in the school year. They are ready for the next stage and outgrowing this one. You see the same at other transitions too - Y6, post GCSE etc. It probably bodes well for a good start in Sept.

It's a lot harder when they start school. Nurseries are geared up to working mums - schools aren't. You still have holiday childcare to sort and that's also difficult.

I remember days like this, not every day, but certainly a few.

I have twins (now adults) and I clearly remember dropping them off for the first day of school, getting home and setting my alarm, and getting into bed. Bliss.

We are entitled to 30 hours per week funded child care for our 2 year old, but this is term time only. So it is spread across the whole year. We save money but still currently pay £300 ish pcm for 3 days per week. This will go up for us once we swap to a pre school setting within a private nursery for the year before school. Unfortunately we cannot use a pre school within a primary school, as these are term time only and we do not have the annual leave to cover approx 14 weeks of school holidays.