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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What should I do ? Is this a red flag ?

29 replies

Briannaivy · 05/03/2025 05:09

So I met this man at the club about a month ago. He’s 34 and I’m 24 anyways I’ve noticed that since I’ve been in contact with him, he’s been suggesting me to come over his home ? This was even before he even took me on an actual date? I’ve told him multiple times that I don’t do house visits, and I’m not the type of chick that’s going to go to a man’s home. He suggested me going over there after a rough day at work, said he would cook for me etc. I never went, I declined. He agreed and said he wasn’t trying to make me feel uncomfortable. How he was just trying to take my mind off of things.

I finally agreed to go on a date with him, he took me to this very lavish restaurant. Afterwards he suggested we continue our date with a movie…. I asked him where ? He said his house, and how he has all the movies over there. I keep telling him I’m not going to go over his house yet anytime soon…. He agreed and said he understood. He’s very infatuated with my looks.

He’s really sweet and has all his stuff together financially He’s respectful and consistent …. He’s not my type but I thought I’d try something different. Yet is this a man that just wants my body or something more ? He has been communicating with me after the first date… yet I noticed his replies have been slower.

OP posts:
rubberduck68 · 05/03/2025 11:33

Either he is only interested in sex, or has no social awareness and doesn't understand that inviting a woman to go to your house before a date on a loop is a red flag. He doesn't sound "sweet" at all – sulking that he hasn't met your family after one date screams entitlement/boundary abuser to me. RUN.

VickyEadieofThigh · 05/03/2025 11:34

And please don't get in cars with men you barely know.

Msmoonpie · 05/03/2025 11:39

Hes clearly just after sex. Doesn’t see you as a person just a potential shag.

He also appears to think sex is transactional - by taking you somewhere expensive he thinks material things can buy him sex and that you are the type of person to also think this and therefore put our because he has splashed out.

Personally I’d transfer him the money for the meal and tell him it’s obvious he just wants sex and that you’re no longer interested as a result.

Sassyshaz · 05/03/2025 11:39

after 4 years I have broken away from a narc who has completely destroyed my health, confidence, looks and personality I will be so cautious and going to start a dating site so I can use my CIA friend to help me create safe spaces for dating in the UK

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