Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

wants to be accountant of my business

20 replies

help1972 · 04/03/2025 21:17

hello
Need some advice. in 2019 my husband told me he no longer loved me..not like he used to ... we tried to repair it and i did everything i could - to try and win him back slowly.. and carefully... i thought we were back on track.. then just before new years eve I noticed some messages beep on his phone and found out that he was sleeping around with different women. I obviously confronted him and we agreed to try to move forward - his only chance.. then 2 years ago i found pornographic photos on his phone .. anyway i think i know the answer to my question but i run my own business and now he wants to do my accouants.. he is very money orientated and i dont want him t have control. he does not ever give me money and likes the control.. today he puffed it up saying he was doing it to save us money .. but its my money - we have no mortgage.. etc.. and he wants to control.. i am not having it.. am i being unreasonable.

OP posts:
FrannyScraps · 04/03/2025 21:19

So just say no?

Original poster
help1972 · 04/03/2025 21:20

@FrannyScraps i have and now he is in a mood..

OP posts:
TeaAndTattoos · 04/03/2025 21:20

Just say no and start getting your ducks in a row so that you can leave him. I hope you don’t have kids with this man.

FrannyScraps · 04/03/2025 21:21

help1972 · 04/03/2025 21:20

@FrannyScraps i have and now he is in a mood..

So? Let him. He's an arse so why would you care?

Original poster
help1972 · 04/03/2025 21:21

@TeaAndTattoos unfortunately i do one is doing gcses so am waiting .. till that is over and then ...

OP posts:
Original poster
help1972 · 04/03/2025 21:23

@FrannyScraps thank you - i have really really tried.. but i think i know what i should do .. i have so tried to be selfless and help .. and understand but its always my fault about everything - he also should i add gets very angry at me.. i asked him today if he felt trapped he never answered.

OP posts:
Totototo · 04/03/2025 21:24

Why would you take a man like this back? Please get therapy. Don’t let him near your business. Is it a Ltd company? Do you have loads of reserves in it?

Original poster
help1972 · 04/03/2025 21:27

it is a Ltd company and tbh doesnt have much in it as i have to pay for the kids, food, clothes, and holidays as well as tutors and myself (which id ont spend any money on these days) . he always makes me feel shit

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 04/03/2025 21:29

He wants to get a really good look at your finances.

Do you think that's a good idea given he's as trustworthy as counterfeit money?

No, you have a non related accountant all picked out. No is the operative word here. He sulks? BFD. No.

Beebsta · 04/03/2025 21:30

You need to get yourself out ASAP.

TeaAndTattoos · 04/03/2025 21:33

help1972 · 04/03/2025 21:21

@TeaAndTattoos unfortunately i do one is doing gcses so am waiting .. till that is over and then ...

How long before their GCSE’s are finished because the sooner you can get away from him the better and keep telling him no he can sulk for an entity if he wants too it’s not your problem that he’s a controlling man baby.

Original poster
help1972 · 04/03/2025 21:34

17 June

OP posts:
TeaAndTattoos · 04/03/2025 21:36

help1972 · 04/03/2025 21:34

17 June

Not too far off then and plenty of time for you to start getting things in place ready does he work outside of the house because it would be easier to leave when he’s not there so that he can’t make it difficult for you.

RunningJo · 04/03/2025 21:41

help1972 · 04/03/2025 21:34

17 June

If you haven’t already, then go and speak to a solicitor for advice to make sure your business is protected (if it isn’t already) and talk about steps to separate and / or divorce.
I wouldn’t let him have anything to do with your business (assume he isn’t a Director or company Secretary?). I’d politely decline and say you don’t need any help and if he wants to sulk, let him. You need to concentrate on your future without his moods

Good Luck Op.

Jane958 · 05/03/2025 08:34

He probably wants to do the accounts to see how much is in the business & what he could potentially get out of it, or syphon off.
Agree with pps that he should not get any insight.
Keep going until June, but use the time to get all paperwork etc. sorted, including official documents.

Swiftie1878 · 05/03/2025 08:38

help1972 · 04/03/2025 21:20

@FrannyScraps i have and now he is in a mood..

🤷🏼‍♀️ so what?

A firm no. And move on to the next convo.

MissSookieStackhouse · 05/03/2025 08:47

Don’t let him near your accounts under any circumstances! He clearly has ulterior motives. You mention you DC finishes GCSEs in June. That’s not far off now, so I’d start making plans to leave / split now so you’re ready to press the button as soon as the last exam is over. Good luck.

Happyasarainbow · 05/03/2025 08:48

OP - I'd say that you have become used to flexing around your H's anger, and this is why you're doubting yourself now. This is the time where you need to start putting an emotional wall between his emotions and yours. Keeping him happy isn't your priority any more - getting your ducks in a row to leave him is. Giving him access to your accounts will make it much more difficult for you to separate from him, so absolutely do not do it.

BMW6 · 05/03/2025 08:51

Why on earth would you trust him? Never in a million years should you let him have any access or sight whatsoever.
He must think you're stupid!

TheSandgroper · 05/03/2025 10:26

Change all your passwords. see a solicitor.

The separation can take place after exams but a lot of preparation can happen starting now.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread