in wanting my husband to stop scaring the shit out of me?!

[Disenchanted]

He is scared of bees/wasps and I am scared of spiders.

A few days a go the first wasp of the year appeared in the bathroom, stupidly I wound him up a bit by making a buzzing sound at him and being generally a bit daft

But now he keeps saying hes going to get me back with a spider.

He's saying things like he will put one on my face, find a big one ect ..

and I know I shouldn't have wound him up but theres no need for him to be making my life a misery.

And to make everything 1000 x worse we just found out today that the guy across the road has 2 taranulas!!

He brought them one and put it on my mums car windscreen!

Luckily I didn't see this, I was inside, it was as she was leaving.

But now I feel uneasy about them being across the road and DH keeps saying hes going to go 'borrow one'

This is genuine, I know it sounds daft and its my own fault for winding me up but hes supposed to be a man, and my husband!! I would never tell him I was going to put a bee on him in the night.

I would be scared too actually. My friends brother used to have loads and I couldn't go into the room they were in. They terrified me.

I would!

Well, you started it...

It's horrible to tease someone like this and your dh really should call a halt. Can you apologise, profusely, and say this is really upsetting you, you appreciate how stupid it was of you to tease him, and please can the pair of you leave it now?

I think he's trying to put across to you exactly how peed off he was about the wasp incident.

A big and genuine and sincere and serious apology is in order, along with a plea for him to stop the spider threats.

Wait till all is quiet and have serious words.(cry if you have to!!)and agree to stop now.

I asked him that, as i really do have a phobia... but he said no.

I KNOW I shouldn't have wound him up but I feel he is taking it too far and just being plain mean

I have cried, but he just laughed

So do I. He must be reasonable under all threats.......somewhere?

Ask him if he would like you to borrow a few creepys or hide the wasp killer? How would that make him feel? etc

You were mean to him. He thinks you didn't take his fear seriously now he's refusing to take yours seriously.

I can understand your terror because he's being horrible. Have you apologised properly to him for your trick? Tell him you will probably have heart failure if he plays a spider trick on you and that will leave your DCs without a mother.

It's going to be like The Twits - serving each other worms and telling each other it's spaghetti, adding height to walking sticks ec.

Maybe he is totally embaressed by his fears and wants to make himself feel big and better by scaring the shit out of you?
Thus you are weaker than him!!

Make up a pretend wasps nest in the shed. Tell him you will get rid of it while he's a work ONLY if he packs in the spider shit.

Any luck today??