Worried about DH seeking career change

[AmyG25]

I would really welcome some views on the below, and possibly re-assurance from anyone who has been through similar.

-DH is early 30’s, we have a DC just turned 1

-He has been in his corporate job since he started work, so over 10 years, and had a few promotions to where he is now earning c.50k plus 10% annual bonus.

-I have returned to work part time now earning c.13k a year

-DH is at a dead end with his role and really not enjoying work, works at home a lot and finds it soul destroying - chances of further promotions are difficult so only pay progression in short term will be annual pay rises (rarely exceed 4%).

-He has a real interest in money management/investments etc and is looking at exploring taking financial advice qualifications and a possible career change. He’d want to go in to an ‘employed’ role rather than go out on his own.

I’m stuck between ‘life’s too short’ and he is still quite young so should not be stuck doing something he doesn’t enjoy for the rest of his life, but also worried that it’s likely there will be an initial drop in his income. He wouldn’t quit his current job without a new one to go into. We would just about cope with savings etc but there is always the risk the move doesn’t pay off.

YABU - he should proceed in exploring the change
YANBU - he should stick at his current job and see if anything improves there

Can you earn more, either by doing more hours or getting a better job?

Yeah in the long run I’ll increase my hours etc. He says his job is getting him down and I can tell it’s having an impact outside of work and he’s fed up.

Go back to work FT?

I will eventually but we have done the maths and it’s not worth it currently due to childcare

YABU

Working in a job you hate is soul destroying - if you’re worried about the drop in income then look at what you can do to mitigate this rather than placing all the burden on his shoulders

So he's going to retrain while working FT, and won't change jobs unti he has a new one. In his new role, he might well earn a bit less to start wth, but lots of those sort of roles are commission bsed, so if he's good at it he'd rapidly increase his pay, especially if the experience he's gained over the last 10 years can be helpful - from networking to skills to industry experience.

I think this sounds like he's making concrete plans, without being too fly by night about it. I'd also suggest that while he's retaining, you take this opportunity to save as much as possible to cover things in the short term.

The only additional thing I would consider is whether, before he changes completely, it's worth talkign to his current employer. In my experience a lot o fpeople think there are no options for them, but actually, once you start talking to your employer, assuming you're a good employee who they value, there are more options than you might think.

I think he should do this of course. He's not suggesting mortgaging the house to start his own company or anything - he's making a career choice. He has all the pressure on him financially plus hates his job so that's not sustainable either and it sounds like he has reasonable options.

He obviously can't quit until he has something else lined up though as you can't support the family at the moment. I'd also look at ways to increase your contribution to support him (working weekends? Nights? There are options that wouldn't require childcare if he's on a typical 9-5 schedule)

DH is at a dead end with his role and really not enjoying work, works at home a lot and finds it soul destroying - chances of further promotions are difficult so only pay progression in short term will be annual pay rises (rarely exceed 4%). YWB so unreasonable to pressure him to stay in this situation.

He is so young and has decades of work ahead of him. You can't expect him to stay in a job he finds soul destroying, his misery will creep into other areas of your life and you could end up divorced, trust me I've been there.

I would really recommend supporting him into this - hating your job is so miserable because you spend most of your time there. Plus you can increase your hours, 30 funded hours of childcare is coming in September so will ease some of the costs and ultimately your little one will be in school in 3-4 years. Bit of short term pain AND he’s not going to hand in his notice until he has another job sorted. I appreciate that you working PT is for childcare and that’s no holiday and saves your family money but he’s working full time and bringing in the lion’s share, he deserves to be happy too.

My DH did a career change, I work full time eith two children but can work from home. So i picked up all the bills while he retrained.
His corporate sales job was making him ill. It was possible for us to do it financially although a bit of a struggle but being in a job you hate that is making you ill is not good and not good for a family.

Of course he should look for a new job if he's unhappy! You can always increase your hours if you're worried about losing income.

But he could then be part time?

So you expect your partner to stay in a job he hates and that offers no progression and be miserable just so he can keep supporting you?

It is completely understandable that he wants to improve his work situation long term by retraining/looking for a new job.

You should be looking at increasing your own earnings because your part-time job is really low pay and be more supportive.

Surely the best way forward is to get qualified now whilst he is in his current job, work partime in the new role and then make a transition to the new role full-time.

Iy is a false economy because yku are also payjng less into a pension and have fewer chances of pronotikn when working so little.

You should support him OP. I'm sure he'd support you if the roles were reversed.