Weird experience in Pret

[Camomiletea1]

Yesterday I popped in to Pret to get lunch for myself and my toddler. Was hanging about for a couple of minutes choosing what sandwiches to get as my 2 year old was being indecisive. At this point I hadn’t acknowledged or even looked in the direction of the tills as I’m sure a lot of you know with a 2 year old, they can dash at any moment and I didn’t have the buggy with me.

Anyway, after choosing our items we walked to the till and there were 3 maybe 4 men there and only one other customer. One of the men took the items off me and said something like “I would love to serve you lovely people.” I thought that comment was a bit OTT, but I thought maybe he was just being friendly. My son had chosen a toastie so we had to wait for a couple of minutes. During that time another of the men commented that “we are so happy you are here.” One of the others then started asking how old he was and what his name was. I don’t have a problem with that per se and normally think its lovely when strangers show interest in my child, as its also good socialization for him, but honestly I just felt a bit uncomfortable at that point.

Finally, the toastie was ready so I walked me and my son off to sit downstairs. There are some tables upstairs but I wanted to go downstairs as there’s more space. As we were walking down the stairs one of them said, “of course she wants to sit downstairs.” Then I heard the others laugh. The security guard was definitely in ear shot of that comment too as he was stood right near the stairs, but didn’t say anything.

Now I left feeling really confused because I am a bit of an over thinker so not sure if that’s blurring my vision.

YABU- you’re being too sensitive
YANBU- the customer service was strange and unprofessional

I used to be a mystery shopper, but it was always a sit down meal we had to have. Not saying they don't do fast-food type places, I'm sure they do, but that is certainly a possibility.

They sound weird and rude and superior. Maybe they were bored but why make a game out of a mother with a toddler trying to buy food for her child? You didn't want to engage. Oh I know why, because if they pulled that shit on most people they'd be told to piss off and grow up. But when you're with a child you kind of have to put up with it. Commenting on you as "she" is really rude. Not worth complaining about but yes, they were being smart arses, you're not overthinking it.

Not the point, I know, but I did do a bit of a WTF? at taking a while because your 2 year old was being indecisive! I dare say it’s just me, but I’d never bother asking a 2 year old what they’d like - I’d just order something I know they like. Almost always, anyway.

May be trying to be helpful as you had a toddler with you?

I know a bloke who's just quit Pret. Worked there for years. Apparently it's horrible. All that fake enthusiasm hides a lot of bullying and mismanagement. He said he's switching to Gail's. I can't imagine that will be better as the staff there always openly seem miserable and a bit stuck up. But they pay more apparently. So those guys were probably just bored and hated their job.

Pret is my default lunch place when I can't be bothered with my own stuff. Have been going there for years. In all those years I have never encountered a native speaker of English on the tills, so maybe this is a cultural thing?

Was it pretty empty when you walked in? Did you say hello or acknowledge the staff at all when you walked up to the fridge area to choose what you wanted? I’m guessing they looked up and tried to say hello/acknowledge you if the shop was empty as that’s what they’re meant to do, but you ignored them. That’s why they were making sarky comments about you being so lovely and then the comment about you going downstairs (presumably so you didn’t need to sit near them). That’s the only explanation I can think of for their behaviour; they felt that you were rude.

It sounds like they have a manager visit or recent training about being friendly to customers. I work in retail and some of the shit they want you to say to customers is just weird and creepy luckily it usually just lasts a day or 2 then dwindles out. However the sitting downstairs comment was unnecessary

I understand.

I agree the comment about you going downstairs was rude and unprofessional. It would seem they were retaliating because you didn't match their energy, which they perceived as you being rude (or you think they thought you were rude).

I get this op all the time. I have RBF and am an introvert so I'm really awkward in situations where a lot of people aren't.

I occasionally have people being OTT as if they think they're "showing me" how I should be behaving.

They can piss off tbh, as long as you're not actively rude they are not justified in that passive aggressive behaviour.

Edited to add they probably wouldn't do it to a quiet unengaged man because it's rooted in misogyny ie that women are objects to perform and behave "nicely".

It's not worth overanalysing

Were they quite young? I can imagine a group of disaffected youth who are working there because they need the money, who are bored and not very motivated but have been told by management they have to look bright-eyed and bushy-tailed about their jobs and the over-enthusiasm is a bit of an in-joke amongst themselves.

I wouldn't take it personally.

I think you are an attractive woman and they fancied you - the comment about sitting downstairs was bc they wanted to perv over you 🤷‍♀️

Ive experienced loads of behaviour like this in the past when I was young and gorgeous so I recognise it.

What is the actual problem?

Pret have security guards?

Pret have always been a bit OTT with their pleasantries in my experience, I assume it's part of their training. I don't mind it- preferable to them being rude anyway!

The downstairs comment is probably out of context and to do with something they already know/talk about regarding the downstairs seats. As I always tell myself when my anxiety is spinning- not everything is about you!

What is it exactly that you think they were getting at? also not sure what the security guard has to do with anything (have also never in my life seen a security guard in a Pret and up until last year when I moved out of London I went to a Pret about 4 times a week).

Perhaps there was a big push on customer service so they were being over the top. You probably looked like a lovely person and unlikely to tell them to get lost or be rude so they felt ok practicing their great customer service skills.

Sounds like a weird energy OP. Don't be shamed for picking up on it. But probably just them being a bit sarcastic rather than sinister.

I wouldn't like being asked the name and age of my child that is definitely going too far, also the comment of you going downstairs, perhaps you could of said, is that that ok? try and get them to explain more in future just so you have a clearer understanding, maybe that area was actually closed or if it was backhanded comment then they'd feel silly about it.

They've probably had a directive from Head Office telling them to be more engaging with their customers. Don't overthink it.

Pret staff are generally very chatty and friendly. I’ve twice had my food given to me free in Pret just because the staff felt like it.

You’re overthinking this; they were probably bored at work and probably over staffed because it was quieter than usual.

Right. Don’t even know what this thread is about. Other than overanalysing normal human interaction.

Pret staff are normally pretty friendly so I'd assume the comments while you were being served were just a company diktat to Be Nice to customers. It can sound a bit weird and fake because it is weird and fake!
The downstairs comment was a bit odd but you might have just caught a stray from an in joke there - they could have been chatting before you came in wondering why everyone prefers downstairs to upstairs.
I don't think any of it is anything worth fretting over.

@Camomiletea1 - I think I can help with this! Whether I like it or not, due to my disorganisation I am in pret a good few times a week, the past 6 weeks I’d say they appear to have introduced a new customer service policy on their staff, as they always great you warmly, and seem to give some odd American style good bye ‘you have a great day now/hope your day is a great one’ etc once they give you your coffee or whatever.

Im not a fan, it feels forced.

Is it an American company? Their greeting to you sound a bit Americanised, perhaps that’s how they are told to greet customers. I think generally Brits don’t quite know what to make of greetings like ‘we’re so happy you’re here today’ as they sound insincere. I can almost hear it in an American accent. Perhaps I’m wrong.

I would find this strange, doesn't seem like a natural dialogue to have between a group of adults.

Nothing wrong with good customer service and friendly chatter but the 'we're so happy you're here' bit just sounds really odd.