Please help? My 13 year old has restrictions on his phone. It was 3 hours per day and time restrictions on certain apps such as tik tok. It also goes on downtime at 9pm. He has adhd and hyper focuses on the phone and will just sit staring at it rather than doing what he should be doing such as getting changed, home work, etc. he does however go to rugby and cadets 4/5 times a week.
I had intended to change the restrictions to 30 minutes but for 15 mins extra for each of the things he's asked to do and an extra 30 for achieving them all. There's 8, so achieving them all means he still has the usual 3 hours. I was sick of arguing with him about needing to get ready etc so I thought this would be better as then I'm not punishing but rewarding for the positives. He's so mad and cannot understand it at all. He's very very upset by it and feels like I'm controlling him. He feels that none of his friends have these restrictions and feels that I'm just OTT. I've explained why I've put it in place but he can only see the here and now and struggles to reflect on whats happened and also won't discuss compromises with me. He would prefer for the restrictions to be taken away completely and again feels like I'm OTT.
Please help? I'm really struggling to determine whether I am OTT and should relax the restrictions or whether I should stay firm? He is really upset by it and part of me thinks is it worth this much damage to our relationship? I just don't know whether I am OTT and overbearing or whether it's reasonable and he just needs to accept.
Im finding parenting a teenager very hard at the minute. Any advice would be very much appreciated.